


Just Howl

by Stiles_Hale_38



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alternate Universe, BAMF Stiles, Controlling The Change Issues, False Memories, Kidnapping, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, New Alpha, Original Character(s), Original Characters Are Assholes, Tattoos, Wolf!Stiles, new pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-24 16:06:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 72,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2587550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stiles_Hale_38/pseuds/Stiles_Hale_38
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles never wanted a normal life, but he didn't want this either. He loved his friends and learned to accept all of the supernatural stuff that came with them. But what if one day, all of that is taken away? What if one day, you don't even remember who those friends are? What if you are told false information, but think it is true? Stiles's life is flipped upside down, all because of one person. Collin Worth, the alpha.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Derek Hale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically this was my first story and I see now looking back that the first few chapters are short. Stay with me, they get much longer. :)

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

"Come on, come on." I whispered to myself, almost as if I was encouraging the clock to keep ticking. 

The smallest hand finally came around, and the shrill bell rung. 

"Finally!" I exclaimed excitedly. 

The last period of school had just let out, finally I could go home. I guess this day wasn't any worse than the rest of the days I spent in this hell-hole, but today especially I just couldn't wait to go home, eat some pizza, and maybe hang out with Scott a little if he wasn't with his new girlfriend Kira. 

When I found out that they were officially a 'thing' I will have to admit I wasn't too thrilled, because every time Scott got a girlfriend, every second of his life was spent with her. 

When he was with Allison, we could have died because he wouldn't do something simple like answer his damn phone. Then, when we would ask him where he had been, why he wouldn't pick up, and he would say something like, "I'm sorry! I was with Allison! I never said I was a part of this pack anyway!" which would piss me off even more, because even if he wasn't officially in the pack, he should have still care about the lives of his friends. 

Of course now, he's an Alpha himself, and after Allison. . . I guess I didn't realize how much he would change when she was gone, though of course I knew he would be hurt. I still feel like it was my fault, though we never brought up her death. 

But whatever, I have learn to let it go, because I think Kira is good for him. He seemed different with her. Like nothing was rushed, like he was going take his time, instead of running full speed into the relationship.

I sighed as I walked out of the school. I hadn't been feeling the best lately, but I just guessed it was allergies or some shit. 

I was just pulling out my keys from my pocket, about to unlock my baby, when I looked up. Then I think I pissed a little, because sitting casually on top of my baby blue car, was Derek. Derek Hale.

It seemed like I hadn't seen him in a while, ever since the Nogitsune thing had ended, though I was sure he had been around. 

I always hated to think about the  
Nogitsune, about how many people I killed, innocent lives. People said all the time things like, "It wasn't really you Stiles, you couldn't do anything." But I could still see and hear everything that was going on. I saw and felt my hand plunge into people's chest and rip out their hearts. And I saw the life slowly fade out of their eyes, but I couldn't do anything. 

When Allison was stabbed, I couldn't scream or rush to her side, instead I was forced to plaster a smile on my face and just walk away, like nothing had happend, like I hadn't just lost one of my closest friends.

I shuddered. "God! Do you always try to scare the bejesus out of people? You know one day, I'm going to have an actual heart attack and you will be taking me to the hospital."

Derek just rolls his eyes, infuriating me. I'm not sure what compelled me to speak these words, I hadn't used them in years, but for whatever reason I spoke them.

"Damn sourwolf."

I hadn't used that word since the night we were trying to get Peter to come to the school, and I knew I could probably do better, but in the spare moment it was the best I could come up with. I also knew I shouldn't have chose that particular word once it left my mouth, and I felt the consequences.

Derek jumped off the top of my car and slammed me into the car door.

"I said don't ever call me that again. If you ever say that again I'm going to rip your-"

"Throat out with my teeth." I said in a low voice. "Yeah, yeah, I've heard it before." 

Derek just stared at me stunned, like he couldn't believe what I just said, and honestly I couldn't believe it myself. I knew I was the King of sass, but when it came to possibly getting punched while in the hands if Derek Hale, I occasionally remained silent. 

It seemed like I knew him all too well. I knew what he was going to say before he even said it, though he was predictable. 

"Look buddy, all I have ever wanted to do since I have got here is go home, so if you will let go of me, I can fulfill my wishes." 

He slowly let go of my arms and stepped backwards, surprising me. 

I didn't say anything and hastily climbed into my jeep.

After I started her up I looked out my window and realized he was gone. Just like that. No goodbye, not that I expected one, but I figured he would at least acknowledge me, maybe throw in a threat or two. Then again, what was I thinking? This was Derek Hale, the king of I don't give a shit.

The drive back wasn't too bad. I yelled at a few idiots, flipped off a guy, and turned the radio on and off in the span of fifteen minutes. In other words, it was a normal ride back. 

When I got home, I shredded off my backpack, setting it by the door, and hung my keys up. Also like normal, I headed straight to the kitchen. I opened the fridge, and saw nothing appetizing. I checked every cabinet, and didn't find anything. Sadly, this was also normal. I went through again, and found an apple in the back of the fridge. It had a few brown spots, but it would work for now. 

I grabbed some frozen chicken out of the freezer, and pre-heated the oven to 375, then waited for the annoying beeping, which signified my oven was hot. 

I headed to the living room and turned on the TV, snacking on my apple for a while, then checked to make sure I didn't have any homework, which I didn't normally do anyways, but I was bored. 

The only thing on TV was Spanish soap operas and Dr. Oz. My father banned me from watching that show when I was twelve, because I learned about constipation and went around asking people what their poop looked like so I could diagnose them. That was when my hopes of being a doctor when I grew up went away. 

The oven finally beeped, just as my dad walked in. 

"Hey dad." I greeted him.

"Hey Stiles." He sighed. Used to, he sighed when it was a long day of work, but now he never stopped. 

"Chicken's in the oven." I said. With that, I walked upstairs and waited for it to be ready. 

************************************

I closed my laptop after hours of surfing the internet. It was one of my favorite things to do after school. Used to, I would come home and have to do tons of research for the pack, and for myself, because who in the hell knows what a kanima is? But after a year of research on all sorts of mythological creatures, I am now fully equipped to fight whatever may be in my path.

Well, after I hit the gym. I'm still the same weakling. To see me trying to fight a 200 pound werewolf would just be pitiful, because after I got laughed at, I would be crushed, literally. 

Anyway, I made my way over to my dresser to grab some underwear and a pair of sweatpants to take a shower, when I heard something. A thunk on my roof. And no, this wasn't some Christmas surprise shit either. 

All kinds of things raced through my head as I grabbed my bat that had its own spot next to my dresser for such occasions. Scott and Lydia had encouraged me to get something a little more protective than a baseball bat, but this baby had been with me for a while. It had bite marks and all kinds of scuffs, but it was still here, staying by my side when no one else would. 

When I was a kid, my dad gave me the baseball bat in hopes that I would be a great baseball player. Instead, I ended up using the bat to protect myself from the monsters in my closet, not exactly his plan, but at least I put it to good use right? 

I slowly turned around and walked towards my window. As I peered out, I didn't see anything but the woods and our overgrown lawn, as well as a section of roof. But then for the second time today, I might have wet my boxers, and once again for the second time today it was because of the same bastard. 

Derek fucking Hale.


	2. Bad News

"What the hell are you doing?" I yelled as I opened the window.

"Trying to come through the widow obviously." Derek stated blankly.

"Yes I can see that, thank you Captain obvious. What I meant, was why? And why at-" I glanced at the clock. "12:08 A.M.?"

Without responding, he pushed me aside and climbed through the window.  
Last time he did he tracked in mud and blood, so I was glad he looked relatively clean. 

"Rude as always." I said sarcastically.  
Ignoring my statement, he started to talk.

"Stiles. Honestly, do you really think I would be here if it wasn't extremely important?" He was clearly irritated, though when was he not?

This was something I never understood, the pack always coming to me. I mean sure I could Google stuff and read, but so could they. On top of that they could see, hear, and smell better than the average human, AKA, me. They could run faster and were ten times stronger than me. And on top of that they had claws, fangs, and freaky glowey eyes. So basically, I was nothing. Why did I have to stay up until 2:00 A.M doing research? I never understood.

"God, what is it this time? Alphas, kanimas, demons, vampires, angels, fairies?"

He stared at me blankly.

"Any of the above?" I said.

"Stiles. Fairies don't exist." He rolled his eyes. 

"What? And yet giant lizards do? That's just unfair!"

Derek rolled his eyes. 

"Okay, so what kind of supernatural thing is it?" I asked.

He paused as if to stop and think of what he was going to say or how he was going to word it. 

"It's not. . . "

"It's not. . . some kind of a monster, creature of the night, or a supernatural being?" I finished for him. 

"No."

"Okay, well then what the hell is it and why are you coming to me about it?"

He started to open his mouth then shut it. Then opened it again then slowly shut it.

"Good lord Derek, I never seen you so tongue tied, just spit it out already. I'm sure whatever it is we can. . . Win or whatever. . . well maybe, considering the whole entire pack almost died while I was the Nogisune. . . and we almost died when the Alphas were here, and when Jennifer turned into a slashed up demon thing, and we almost died when Jackson was the Kanima. . . and don't forget about Peter-" 

"Okay I get it. We have near death experiences a lot. But that's not the problem. . . it's you, Stiles."

"Me? I'm fine. There is nothing wrong with, I'm back to happy normal Stiles!" I could hear the slight panic and worry in my voice, and I hoped Derek couldn't, even with his supernatural hearing. 

"No, you're not. There is something going on, but you just don't see it, because you haven't been paying attention."

Frankly I was kind of offended. Not paying attention? I was the one who always payed attention when it came to these things! 

"There is nothing wrong, Derek. I said I'm fine. Don't you think I would be the one to know if something was wrong with me?" 

"No, you're not fine. You. . . you smell different. Like when you were the Nogisune, but it's not the same exact smell. It still smells like you, but just mixed in with something else, and it's strong."

"Listen buddy, I'm fine, so go blow your nose and go home, because the only difference in my scent is I stink, because I haven't gotten to take a shower yet, thanks to you." I snapped.

All of a sudden he grabbed my arm and yanked me out of my room and started walking toward the bathroom. 

When we got there, he stood me in front of the mirror and said, "Look. What do you see?"

I glanced at myself briefly.

"I don't see anything!" 

"Just look closer. Concentrate and look at every single one of your features."

I sighed, then turned to the mirror. I didn't notice it at first, but then I started to see little changes. My skin was paler, my bloodshot eyes had purple bags under them, and they were dark. Black. Not the usual golden brown, but black. My face and jaw also were protruding more, showing how I had lost weight. I looked just like I did in the early stages of the Nogitsune, just not as bad. 

But this made no sense. How could Derek know there was something wrong, without me even knowing? Sure, I hadn't been feeling the same. I didn't feel like Stiles. I felt off and like I wasn't actually living my life, just going through the steps. It was like watching my life through a TV screen, but I all thought that was just the effects of the Nogisune. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn't allegergies. 

Maybe the Nogisune wasn't completely gone, or maybe it wasn't anything supernatural at all. 

FLASHBACK.

I was ten. I was sitting in my room playing Mario Brothers, when I heard something, whimpering and crying, so of course me being Stiles, I went to investigate. It was coming from the bathroom, and the door was shut, making me even more curious. I slowly turned the knob, and opened the door.

It was my mother. My poor mother, who held the same image as myself; pale skin, dark under eye circles, thin cheekbones, and her eyes, oh her eyes, they were the worst. Her normally sparkling blue eyes, were deathly dark.

She startled as she saw I was standing there.

"Stiles! What are you doing?" She asked hoarsely. 

"I'm sorry mama, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Now please go and play your game, I will be fine."

Even like this she was still sweet, kind, and beautiful. 

"Okay mama."

I reluctantly left the bathroom and headed to my room.

It was two nights later that she told us. We were eating at my favorite burger place and I was happily slurping my chocolate milkshake when she started to speak.

"I brought you guys here today to tell you something. And I would first like to say that I'm sorry, that I didn't tell you immediately."

I could see the look of panic in my dad's eyes.

"What is it honey?" He asked worriedly.

After a few seconds she responded quietly.

"Cancer." She said blankly, staring at the wall.

I felt like I had just swallowed a rock and my stomach had dropped to the floor. I didn't cry, I couldn't, in fact I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. That was the first one, my first panic attack. The world around me started to spin and I could faintly hear my mom and dad's voice talking to me, but it didn't matter. My mom had cancer. She was going to die.

END OF FLASHBACK

"No. No it can't be that." I didn't realize I was talking out loud, until Derek spoke. I never thought I would be so scared of something so mundane, so normal. But my worst memories are those of my mother. Seeing her sick and in so much pain, it still churns my stomach. 

"Stiles what is it?"

Cancer. What if it was cancer? What about my dad? What was I going to do? But wait, it couldn't be, there's no way. It was allergies, a cold, the flu! 

And then I knew. I knew I was having another panic attack.

"Stiles just breathe. Look at me. Look at me!" Derek said, panic stricken. He had never seen me like this, and I didn't want him to. He already knew I was weak, I didn't want him to see me any more vulnerable then I already was.

He told me to breathe, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything except think the same thoughts over an over.

Cancer. Cancer. Cancer. What if I have cancer? No, no, no. I can't, it's not possible.

I argued with myself, but my body was panicking. 

Though I knew in the back of my mind killing so many people was worse, I was still constantly haunted by the thought that one day I might get cancer like my mom. 

I fell to the floor and didn't even feel the pain of both of my knees hitting the ground.

"Stiles look at me." 

Derek pulled my face up to meet his eyes. He then grabbed my hand and put it right over his heart.

"Do you feel that Stiles? Do you feel my heartbeat? Do feel me breathing? Breathe with me. Right now we are one, okay? Match your breathing with mine, match your heart with mine. You can do it."

I tried, and failed. "Come on Stiles, we are one. Breathe with me."

And for some reason, this time I could. Maybe it was his calming voice, or his steady heartbeat, but I was slowly able to breathe easier, and pretty soon I was breathing normally.

I slowly pulled my hand if of his chest.

"T-Thank you." I stammered.

"You're welcome."

And then we just stared at each other. He looked into my eyes and I look into his, and I realized how close I was to him. So close that I could smell his minty breath and feel the heat radiating off of this body.

Then at the same time, we moved away from each other. He cleared his throat and then stood up, holding out his hand so he could help pull me up.

I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up with a large amount of force, to where I lost my balance and crashed into him. 

"Woah! Sorry!" I said. 

I looked at him and realized he wasn't trying to shove me off, he was holding onto me. 

He growled softly, and must have noticed I was staring and how I was wondering why he still had a grasp on me, so he let me go quickly.

"I uh, better go. . ." He said.

"Yeah, yeah of course. I have school tomorrow, and I'm sure you have. . . things. . ."

"Right." 

We walked out of the bathroom and back to my to my room. He opened the window and was halfway out when he paused.

"Stiles?" He said, not making eye contact.

"Yes?"

"Go talk to Deaton. He can probably check you out. I'm sure it's not bad, but. . . I just can't stand the thought of you sick or hurt so. . . I thought I would tell you."

"Right of course."

"Goodnight Stiles."

"Goodnight Derek."

Then he climbed out the window and jumped of the roof.

"Werewolves." I thought and shook my head.

Wait. Did Derek Hale just say that he couldn't stand the thought of me hurt? What the hell does that mean?


	3. Interesting Day

My alarm sounded, making shrill unpleasant noises. 

"Urgh." I mumbled as I smacked my alarm trying to find the off button. I not so gracefully rolled out of bed and went to my bathroom. As I took my morning shower, the memories of last night came rolling in. That's when it hit me once again.

I quickly shook the thoughts from my head. After rinsing out the shampoo from my hair I stepped out of the shower onto the cold tile floor. I quickly threw on underwear, jeans, and a t-shirt. I messily did my hair and then brushed my teeth. I returned to my room, where I put on deodorant and grabbed my backpack. I then made my way downstairs and saw the note on the table.

Had a early morning shift and a night shift. . . Working all day. Won't be back until morning. 

Love you,

Dad

I tossed the note in the trash then grabbed my keys. Wait. I pulled out my phone and scrolled down to Deaton's number. What Derek had said last night rung in my head. 

'Go talk to Deaton. He can probably check you out. I'm sure it's not bad, but. . . I just can't stand the thought of you sick or hurt so. . . I thought I would tell you.'

I pressed the call button. It rung three times before a gruff voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Deaton, it's Stiles. Listen I haven't really been feeling the greatest lately after the Nogisune, and so I thought I should call you, in case there was side effects or something like that."

"You realize Stiles, that I am a veterinarian, not a doctor."

"Yeah, a veterinarian who also kicks mythical creatures asses by having all of this magic voodoo stuff."

"True, but I am still not a human doctor, so if you're feeling sick, I'm not the right doctor to see."

"I know, but I thought if you could quickly check me out then it would save time and money, and that way Melissa wouldn't freak out and tell my dad. . ."

"Okay, fine." Deaton gave up. "Come in after school and I will give you a check up and make sure it isn't anything supernatural."

"Okey dokey. Thanks Doc."

After he had hung up I made my way to the car and drove to school.

When I arrived nothing had changed in the world outside of my head, but inside I was crazy. I kept thinking about my mom, and what she was like. Nowadays it seemed that I couldn't remember her when she was happy and smiling, I only remembered her cold and fragile. 

I also couldn't stop thinking of how many people I hurt. Maybe this was God's way of punishing me. Though it wasn't truly me who did that to those people, it was my body. Their blood will be permanently stained on my fingertips. 

***********************************

As I left physics and went to go put up my books in my locker before lunch, I was slammed into the lockers. 

"What the hell?" I yelled, whipping around to face the culprit. 

"Get used to it Stilinski, this year I'm going to be the best lacrosse player, and become team captain, which means you do whatever I say and I can do whatever I want." He sounded like a four year old telling me he was going to be the king of the playground. 

"In your dreams Greenburg. I may be the one who sits on the bench the most, but I have a bigger shot of becoming team captain than you do, and that's saying something. Now get the hell out of my face." I started to turn, but Greenburg slammed me again. 

"Shut up Stilinski, or I'm going to shut you up. With my fist."

I was used to this, being tossed around and people saying mean stuff me, I usually just let its slide, pretended like it didn't bother me. But this time it did, after all I had been through, (it had only been 6 days since I was me again)   
I just wish that people would leave me alone and let me go one day without having to fix a problem.

Insanely fast, I twisted out of Greenburgs grasp and grabbed both of his hands and pinned them behind his back. Grabbing his head with my other hand, I slammed it into the locker and whispered in his ear. I could hear his nose break.

"If you ever lay a finger on me again, I will rip those man boobs right off your chest, and all the money you spent to make them look perky will go down the drain. So stay away from me okay?" I said. 

I let go of him and started to walk to lunch. By then, everyone had saw what I just did, but I didn't care, because by lunch I would be the talk of the school, which was kind of awesome. 

Just as I was about to walk into the cafeteria, Scott pulled me aside.

"Dude! That was freaking awesome! How did you do that? And why?"

As usual, Scott was bombarding me with questions.

"He kept bossing me around, and with everything that's been going on I just got tired of it and snapped, so I twisted his wrist and slammed his head into the lockers." I said casually. "But dude that felt awesome." I said, losing my cool.

It was strange for me to act this way, I even surprised myself, but in a way I didn't. On one hand, I had good emotional control, not physical, that's for sure, so I haven't ever snapped at someone so much that my actions spoke louder than my words, but on the other hand, my temper had gotten worse over the years, and now I am less afraid to hurt someone if they bother me.

I walked towards the lunch room and Scott followed me close behind.

"Well still, that was pretty sweet." He said.

I smiled to myself. I never really liked all of the attention, but it was actually nice to not be the weak kid in the school. I had felt powerful, even from just a little act, but knowing this school, rumors would spread and say that I had beat Greenburg up and he had to go to the hospital or something like that, but I didn't mind.

We sat and ate our lunch of chicken tenders and then made our way back to class.

**********************************

As we opened our books, the thoughts and memories of last night came crawling back into my head once again. Derek had said he knew something was wrong because I smelt different. Could Scott smell that too?

"Hey Scott? Do I . . .smell different?"

He took a big whiff and said, "I guess so, just a little. I didn't notice it until now, but now that you've mentioned it . . . New cologne? Why do you ask anyways?"

I thought about keeping everything to myself and shrugging it off, but Scott was my best friend, and I needed someone else's opinion, so I told Scott everything.

"Wait, so Derek knew something was wrong because you smelled different, and since he said he cared about you and doesn't want you getting hurt, he suggested you go to Deaton's?"

"Yeah basically. So I called Deaton today and am going to go see him after school."

"Okay, that is strange. Especially because this is Derek we are talking about. . . And you don't smell sick to me. . . Weird."

"Yeah, tell me about it. . ."

"Okay, anyway, I'll meet you after Chem?"

"Nah, I will be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes it will be okay."

"Okay well-"

Just then, the bell rang.

"I will see you later then." He said and then he grabbed his stuff and left. I grabbed my stuff as well and then headed to my jeep.

"To Deaton's we go. . . " I muttered to myself.


	4. Deaton's

When I arrived at Deaton's, I was not happy, mostly because a certain wolf was standing in Deaton's office, waiting for my arrival. 

"Why are you here?" I snapped.

"Because I want to know what's wrong with you." He answered simply.

"Why? You never cared about me before." I didn't realize how harsh this sounded, but evidently Derek did.

At this, his face turned into an expression of guilt, then quickly morphed into anger, but before Derek could reply, Deaton spoke. 

"Perhaps we should get started, Stiles? I have to cast a Golden Retriever in half an hour." He said with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah, sure Doc." I didn't think Deaton enjoyed my not-so-clever nickname, but he'd never said anything before. 

We walked back towards the center of the building, where the table and all of Deaton's utensils were held. 

I wasn't before, but for some reason, I grew extremely nervous. My breathing picked up and my palms were sweaty. I hated hospitals. They reminded me of my mom, and even though this was just a veterinary clinic, it still gave me the same chills, knowing that something could be wrong with me.

'Just breathe. Don't have a panic attack. Just breathe Stiles.' I thought.

"Okay Stiles, what seams to be the problem?" Deaton asked.

"Um. . . well. . . I haven't really been sleeping, and I feel. . . Not sick, just not like me? I don't know doc, I-"

Before I could embarrass myself any further, Derek interrupted me.

"He smells different. He says it's only sleeping issues and simple stuff like that, but it's not. There is something wrong." Derek said.

"Do you think it's anything supernatural?" Deaton asked. 

"I'm not sure. That's why I wanted him to come here, instead of going to a regular doctor."

"Okay, then I will ask you, what are are his symptoms?" Clearly Deaton didn't even want to bother asking me questions anymore.

Derek looked at me as if to see if it was okay, but I just stared back. It was all I could do. Too many thoughts were racing through my head, and when Deaton had asked if it was anything supernatural, my thoughts went straight to the Nogitsune.

"There is no chance of the Nogitsune coming back. . . right?" I asked shakily.

Deaton paused before answering. "Not that I know of, though I haven't looked into it. Why? Are you having the same symptoms?"

"A few I guess." I raised my shoulders.

"Like what?" He asked. 

Once again, before I could answer Deaton's question, I was rudely interrupted by Derek.

"He has lost weight, he can't sleep, because he has nightmares, he's been having more panic attacks lately, he's paler, he has blackouts-"

"Wait, Stiles had blackouts?" This was something different than before. 

"What? No I don't!"

"Yes, you do Stiles. You don't go completely unconscious, but I've been watching you. I have seen how many times you wake up at night because of nightmares, and how in class you stare off into space and no body can get your attention."

I was about to argue with him when I thought of something. I thought of how I couldn't really remember to much of what had happened recently. I remembered the fight at school, and Derek coming to my house, but I didn't remember anything else. It was like I took naps throughout the day, missing sections of my life.

"Well I still don't have panic attacks a lot. That just happened once."

"Really? So when you sat down on the table just a few minutes ago, you weren't about to have one?" Derek cocks his eyebrow. 

I didn't answer his question, because it infuriated me that he was right, and embarrassed me that this wasn't part of whatever was going on, panic attacks were just a part of me. And how did he know that I was going to have one? 

"It's sounds like you may be stressed, have you been under a lot of pressure?" Deaton asked me.

"Not exactly. Same amount of schoolwork, no recent supernatural activities."

"I don't think it's that, Deaton." Derek said.

"Okay, Stiles, let me check out your heart real quick." Said Deaton.

I startled when the cold metal touched my skin. He moved his hand around, checking my pulse in different areas.

Afterwards, he silently wrapped the stethoscope around his neck, then grabbed a small flashlight. He pulled down my eye and shined the flashlight in my pupil. All of a sudden he jumped back and dropped the flashlight. 

"What? What is it?" I asked.

"Derek, please come outside with me real quick." Deaton said.

"What? No! Tell me what is going on!" I demanded.

Without responding to my demand, they both left the room. This made me furious.

"What is it? What did you see?" Derek asked worriedly. 

"It's- I'm not sure, exactly. His eyes. . . they turned black, but his pupils were a fluorescent greenish yellow. Like the Oni." 

"Huh?"

"Okay do you remember when Stiles was the Nogitsune? We were talking about how to destroy it, and one of the only ways was to change the body of the host."

"Right, but what does this have to do with Stiles' eyes?"

"It has to do with everything, because when something becomes a part of you, it's like it's mounded. You pry it off, but there are still little bits and pieces left. When you became a beta again, you still felt stronger didn't you? Less powerful, but still like a leader, like an Alpha?"

"Yes." Derek nodded.

"Well it's like that with Stiles, but the Nogitsune is a powerful spirit, and it manifests, as you know, so even the tiniest bit of it that is left in his body, overtime, will grow into a full Nogitsune and take over once again."

"So it's never really gone? You can never destroy it?"

"Not fully. The spirit cannot travel to another person ever again, unless it is fully grown, so a person who had had the Nogitsune in their body, will always have it. And I am afraid that this time, the Nogitsune is a part of Stiles, like a major organ, it can't be removed, or Stiles will die."

"So what are we supposed to do?"

"Change the host's body. It has been that simple from the beginning, though of course you all found a way to twist it."

"What does that mean, change the body's body? That doesn't tell me how to help him!"

"Change the host's body." Deaton repeated slowly.

Derek turned away from Deaton, frustrated. Then as if a lightbulb went off, he turned back around. "We have to turn him?"

Deaton nodded his head. "There are different ways to change Stiles' body, but that would be the most promising, though it might not work."

"Scott isn't ready for this. He hasn't even gone through a full moon as an Alpha yet, how is he going change Stiles without killing him? He probably won't even be willing to."

"You change him."

"What? I can't! I'm not an Alpha."

"Then become one." Deaton shrugged. "I know you want to save Stiles, and I know you miss being an Alpha, so go find an Alpha and kill it."

"Well I can't just pick up an Alpha at the grocery store, and usually an Alpha comes with a pack, which will be powerful, so where am I going to find one and how am I going to destroy it without getting myself killed?" Derek growled out.

"I don't know, but if you really care about Stiles, then you will find a way."

"Who said I care about Stiles?" Derek asked, immediately shooting the idea down. 

Deaton rolled his eyes. "Derek, you may have everyone else fooled, but not me. I see how you shove him around just so can touch him. And I watch you listen to every word Stiles say. If you didn't care about him, you wouldn't be here. Hell, you wouldn't know there was something wrong, that he smelled different, because you wouldn't pay attention. You wouldn't shove him back every time something tried to hurt him. When he was the Nogitsune, you didn't just fight him to try and save people, you tried to save him. You tried to stop him in the gentlest way possible, because somewhere deep down in there, it was still Stiles and you didn't want to hurt him."

Derek didn't speak for several seconds.

"I-um..." Derek stuttered.

"No need to say anything. Your wolf wants who it wants. And it wants Stiles, bad. I can see your face contort when he walks away from you, or yells at you. You want him, you just try to avoid him instead of trying to win him over. The funny part is, he is completely oblivious."

"And it's going to stay that way." Derek growled.

"He is going to figure out eventually." At that, Deaton walked off into the room where Stiles was, and Derek left the building.

As soon as he reached his car, he sped to his old burned down house. He parked the car and flew open the door and jumped out. Although the scent was mostly covered by the smell of burnt wood and ash, he could still smell the faint scent of his family.

His mother's lavender perfume. His dad's scent of coffee ad peppermints. And the children. All of his little brothers and sisters, all having there own scent. Bella, his youngest sister who as five, smelled like candy and always had sticky fingers. His two younger brothers, Charlie and Sammy, twins, who were nine always smelt of grass and woods, as they were always outside. Cora his other younger sister, who he thought had died at thirteen, smelled of chocolate.

It hurt, to smell those wonderful scents mixed with the now putrid smell of ash and burnt wood. Laura, Laura's scent was by far the worst to smell, because after the fire, she was one of the only ones alive, which meant her scent lingered around him longer, making it more difficult to forget her. She smelled of cherries. Derek had always wished Peter hadn't killed Laura, and that they could all live peacefully together.

Laura was just that type of person you could tell anything, and she would understand. She reminded him of Stiles in a way, always rambunctious, and always full or stories.

Derek didn't realize he was crying until he felt something wet running down his cheek and fall off of his jaw.

'Am I going to do it? Am I going to do this for Stiles? . . . Of course I am. I would do anything for him.' Derek thought.

He wiped the tears from his eyes and took off through the woods. He needed to clear his mind, to think of a plan, but after two hours of running, it was dark and he still didn't have a plan. That's when he decided to just keep on running.

'Maybe if I keep going I will find an Alpha, which comes with a pack of unknown numbers. Fantastic.' He thought.


	5. Pack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is written in Derek's POV. Hope you like it!

Derek's Point Of View

I had no clue how long I had been running. It was now starting to become light again, and the grass was collecting dew. After all this time, I had collected a semi-plan. I was going to find a pack, obviously. Depending on how big that pack was, I was either going to kill their Alpha, or find out where another smaller pack was, so I could kill theirs. 

I breathed in deeply and smelled something. A wolf. 

'Finally.' I thought. I had been running for far too long. 

I quickly changed into my full wolf, which meant claws, teeth, eyes, hair, everything. Before, I was just running with my eyes shifted, so I could be alert and see better.

I followed the scent for another hour before I found something. A den. The scent was strong. Strong enough to have more than 2 wolves in the pack. 

I silently crawled into the cave. 

Humans would have trouble seeing in the dark, but I could see perfectly fine.

Then I heard it. A growl, right behind me, a growl so low that made the hairs on my neck prickle upwards. It was the perfect scene for a horror movie. 

I whipped around and saw him, the Alpha. He was around 5'11", but was strong looking. With sandy blonde hair, tan skin, and blue eyes, he would look perfectly harmless, but not now. He started to change, his claws came out and he barred his teeth at me, growling. Then his eyes turned a wicked shade of red. He was the ruler, and I was trespassing on his land.

"What are you doing here beta? This is my territory!" He growled.

Normally, I would apologize and move on with my business, probably seeking help from him in some way, but this was a different matter.

When I looked around me, I saw three more betas. One probably around 6'2", but he was skinny and looked like he could be snapped in half. The second was a girl, she was very small, probably around 5'2" and she was shifted as well, trying to look fierce, barring her teeth, which just made me laugh inside. The last was a male who was short as well, probably around 5'6" but he was huge. The muscles on his arms were the size of basketballs and he looked like a bodybuilder. That one might be more difficult, but the rest of the pack looked easy to kill.

I still had not answered the Alpha's question and had not planned to. I was here to fight, to become an Alpha, not to talk. 

"Get off of my territory or we will kill you easily, you are nothing. What a small little beta, against an entire pack? Ha!" The Alpha snarled. The thing was though, he had no idea who I was. I was ten times more powerful than the average werewolf, only because I trained myself to be. He had two advantages on me though. One, he was an Alpha, and two, he had backup.

I stayed where I was, and answered with a fierce growl, snapping my teeth at the end.

"Fine, we will fight." The Alpha growled.

As expected, the betas attacked first. The small girl charged at me trying to get me at the throat but I dodged easily, instead grabbing her throat and ripping it out.

'That was easy. This pack is weak. Only three more to go.' I thought.

The tall man must have liked this girl because he let out a moan, as if it physically hurt him, then growled and came next, attacking without strategy. 

Instead of strategically fighting, he went for the kill. He was a mess of claws, swinging his hands everywhere. One caught my side and ripped my shirt and skin, leaving a bloody scratch there. At the next swing the the tall guy threw, I grabbed his wrist and twisted it to where I was breaking his bones, and while the guy was screaming and vulnerable, I twisted his hands behind his back to where he was defenseless, then quickly let go to snap his neck. He dropped fast.

The bodybuilder was quick to strike. While I was snapping the guys neck, he started digging his claws into my back and dragging down, causing me to roar in pain and anger. I kicked the guys feet out from underneath him, then when the guy was down I crawled on top of him, but the bodybuilder wasn't done just yet. 

When I tried to punch him, he grabbed my body and rolled over to where he was on top on me. 

"You're gonna die, you little piece of shit." The guy said. He had a deep Mexican accent.

"Not yet I won't." I growled out. 

Although he had me pinned down, I was able to move my knee just enough to where I could slam my my leg in between his legs, hitting his crotch. 

He groaned in pain, and became slack, just for a moment, but I seized that moment, and rolled us over once again. Then, without hesitation, I quickly ripped out the guys throat, but this time, with my teeth. 

I had fished all three levels of the game, but now was time for the boss. I had to kill the Alpha. He was the whole reason I came here. 

"You destroyed my pack! Now I'm going to destroy you!" The Alpha roared. 

He was blinded by rage, so he was messy with his moves, but stronger when he was angry. 

The Alpha grabbed me by the neck and slammed me into the nearest wall. My vision went black for a moment, but when it returned I realized I needed something. 

'Air. I need air. I can't breathe!' I thought.

I clawed at the hand that was choking me. No result. With my last ounce of power, I kicked at his knee, snapping it backwards. I put my foot underneath his leg, so when he stepped back, he tripped and fell to the ground. 

I crawled on top of him and starred into his red eyes. 

I didn't want to waste time, because I knew that Stiles was waiting and I also knew he could gain his strength back any second, so I reared back my clawed hand back and clawed his throat open. Blood splattered on me and the walks. I watched his red eyes fade back to his regular human color, blue, then fade out of life. 

I stood and took a moment to feel what it had felt like to be Alpha again. I felt the power and the strength running through my veins, and I felt my sharp teeth extend a little longer, as well as my claws. 

I was the Alpha now.


	6. Everyone's An Asshole

I had never been more pissed off in my life. First off, Derek was there when I went to see Deaton and argued with me. Then, when I finally got checked out and I find out there was something wrong, they didn't tell me what it was. God he was such an asshole and instead of talking to me, he ran off like a coward. 

For a second, just a split second, I thought he cared, but those thoughts were long gone.

When Deaton had came back in after talking to Derek, I kept demanding he tell me what was wrong, but he never did, so I left, slamming the door on the way out. I drove home furious and when I had arrived home, I imminently stomped up stairs.

I tore off my shirt and jeans and then climbed in bed. I tried for hours, but I couldn't sleep. I was just so mad, and what was Derek doing now? Probably sitting on his fat ass, not giving a flying fuck about me, or how I felt. 

I looked over at the clock and groaned. It was 3:42 A.M. I had been lying here for hours. That was when I realized that I was done with Derek Hale. I was going to give him one last call and then never talk to him again, because I didn't need a brooding asshole, who shoved me around all the time, in my life. He had never done anything to help me. Even though it was late at night, or I suppose early in the morning, I was going to keep calling until he picked up.

I grabbed my phone off of my nightstand and brought up his contact. It rung twice before he answered with a gruff, "what Stiles?" He sounded like he was in the middle of no where, but I didn't care about that at the moment.

"First of all, I would just like to say, you are the biggest piece of shit I have ever met. I can't believe that I actually thought that you had changed, that you actually cared! I thought maybe you were concerned for my health or something when you told me to go see Deaton, but no, you just wanted brownie points. Clearly I was wrong. Now I am lying here, wondering what the hell is wrong with me, because you wouldn't tell me! I have no idea if it's just a cold, or something supernatural, or if I am about to die! I have no idea! So thank you Derek, for not telling me what the hell is going on. After this, I'm not even sure I want to know what is wrong, because that will just mean I will have to speak to you, which will never happen again. I'm sure you don't care, since you don't care about me, or anyone but yourself, but I thought I would tell you in case you ever got confused as to why you never see me around. Goodbye Derek."

Before he could answer, I quickly hung up.

Holy shit. That felt great. I had never spoken to anyone like that in my life and if I were to ever do so, the last person I would think to talk to like that would be Derek Hale. I mean, come on, the dude is scary. 

I threw my phone back on the ground and rolled over. Maybe now I could finally get some sleep.

***********************************

I was in algebra when I figured it out.

Not what was wrong with me, but how I was going to find out. It wasn't a brilliant plan, and I had already tried it once, but it was an extremely simple plan. I was going to talk to Deaton after school. And for once, I wasn't going to be the nice guy, I didn't care how many times it was going to take me, I was going to find out what was going on, and why neither of them decided to tell me.

"Um, Stiles you okay there? You kind of have a murderous look on your face." Scott said.

"What? No I'm fine, just thinking about my after school activities." I replied.

"Whatever that means. Got anything important going on?" He whispered. 

"Mr. McCall! Unless you want detention for a week, I suggest you shut your trap!" Mr. Smith said.

Scott turned red and looked at the board. 

Kira chuckled behind us.

***********************************

I was just getting excited to go to Deaton's when Scott slapped me on the back and gave me news.

"Hey sorry to cancel your after school activities, or whatever, but coach just told us we have a last minute practice today, and that if we don't show, we will be running 20 laps everyday for the rest of the week, so I wouldn't skip today."

"Oh great." I moaned, banging my head on my locker.

"I know, I know. Come on, the faster we get there, the faster practice will begin, which means the faster it's over." He said. I hung my head, but followed Scott. 

We walked into the locker room and were greeted by Isaac. After Allison had died, he skipped school for a couple of days and wouldn't talk to anyone, but he was getting better, at least he was talking to us now.

"Are you as excited for this practice as I am?" He asked sarcastically. 

"I'm pretty sure no one is happy to be practicing today." I replied.

"Oh. Except for me Stilinski."

Great. Greenburg.

"Hey freckles, how are you today?" I asked sarcastically. I wasn't in the mood to ignore or move on from Greenburg's snarky comments. 

"Don't ever call me that again!" He yelled, red hair flopping while he shook his finger. He reminded me of a troll. 

"Or what?" I yelled back.

"Woah, Stiles. Calm down! Just ignore the beefstick. Lets just go." Scott seemed appalled that I had fought back, though only with words. Though I wasn't surprised. Most people didn't see me exploding like this, even Scott.

"Yeah Stiles, lets go." Isaac said. They both looked worried, and were wearing the same expressions they did when I was the Nogitsune, fear.

As we started to walk off, Greenburg called out.

"Oh I see how it is Stilinski! You have to have your boyfriends fight for you because you won't do anything!" I clinched my fists, but kept walking.

"All you know how to do is go home and cry to your mommy. Oh, wait. You don't have one!"

That was too far. He crossed the line. It was like everything was slowed down. I was blinded by rage and tore out of Scott and Isaac's grasp.

I ran hard and tackled Greenburg down to the ground and started punching him as hard as I could. In between punches I yelled at him.

"Don't- you- ever- talk- about- my- mom- again!"

"Stiles stop!" Scott yelled. He tried to pull me off, along with Isaac, but it didn't work. I yelled, almost as a roar, and kept punching him. 

Scott and Isaac finally pulled me off of him, but I just escaped their hold again and started to kick him as hard as I could. 

By now, several other people were circled around us and trying to pull me off, but I was still stronger. All of a sudden, I stopped. I didn't know what it was that made me stop, but I did, and I stopped to stare at Greenburg. His face was mangled and bloody, completely unrecognizable, and it disgusted me, so I walked out if the locker room. Actually, I ran. 

"Stiles, wait!" Scott called. 

I didn't listen, I just kept running. I heard Scott's feet behind me, chasing me, so I ran faster. I knew he would be able to catch me, but I didn't care. I didn't want anyone to talk to me. I didn't care what they had to say. I kept running and running, out of the school, until I didn't hear Scott anymore. 

I ran past my car and into the woods. I couldn't breathe and my side was killing me, but I just kept running. I didn't know what made me want to run past my car instead of driving, but I did. I thought I was never going to stop, but then I did, because I tripped on a stump.

"Fuck!" I shouted, tumbling down to the ground. I felt my face and hand get scrapped on the ground, cutting them open.

I didn't try to get up or move. I just lay there. Then I felt it, I knew it was coming, but for the first time, I didn't try to stop it. 

My head was pounding and my vision went blurry. My lungs hurt from trying to bring in the cold air. I couldn't think of what to do, I just lay there. I thought it would stop but it didn't. My panic attack was still going, and I was losing air. I was deep in the woods, where nobody could find me, nobody could help me, and I was suffocating.

Just as my vision started to go black I felt warm arms circle around me and lift me off of the ground. I felt my  
consciousness start to fade, but just before I passed out I had one last thought. 

Maybe I won't die. Maybe I will last just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter and stay tuned!


	7. I Hate Needles

Alarms. I hate alarms. This alarm was the most annoying alarm I had ever encountered, because I couldn't turn it off. 

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

I wanted to reach over and hit snooze, but I couldn't move my arm. Or anything. My eyelids felt like they were glued down. I wanted to sleep, just to have a peaceful sleep, but I knew I couldn't sleep with this alarm still going off. 

I slowly tried to open my eyes. When I finally did get them open, everything was blurry and bright. I snapped my eyes shut, but then I opened them again. When my vision started to clear up, I looked over to where my alarm should be, but instead of a clock, there was a heart monitor. That was the annoying beeping. But if there was a heart monitor, that must mean that something was wrong. 

I looked down at my body and saw an IV hooked up to my hand. 

'Oh god, not needles!' I thought.

On top of that, I felt something uncomfortable underneath my nose. It was a tube that came underneath my nostrils, giving me oxygen. I went to tear the IV off of my hand when another hand stopped me.

"Not going to happen Stiles." I gruff voice spoke. I recognized this voice, and to my dismay, it made my stomach flutter.

I looked up to see my favorite werewolf, Derek Hale. I know I should have groaned, or maybe said something to try and make him angry, but I didn't, I just stared. He had strikingly beautiful green eyes. 

My brain soon caught up with me and I realized I was starring and had not replied to Derek's comment.

"I hate needles." I said sternly. 

"I don't care, that is staying in your arm." He replied.

"Fine, but this is coming off." 

I reached up to rip the tubes out of my nose when once again, I was stopped. 

"No, Stiles, that is staying too." To my surprise he was clam, relaxed, and actually looked sympathetic and almost. . . Sad.

I groaned. "Why are you even here? Wait why am I here? Where am I?" 

"The classic questions after waking up from an injury. . . You are at the famous Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital." Derek said.

"Why? There isn't nothing wrong with me."

"There's plenty wrong with you." He teased. "Do you not remember what happened?" 

I looked away from him and racked my brain. Lets see, I went home from Deaton's, gave Derek one last call, hoping I would never see him again, that didn't last long. . . went to sleep, went to school the next morning, went to the surprise lacrosse practice, beat up someone, then. . . Then.

Then I ran out of the school and into the woods, where I ran for hours and had the second worst panic attack of my entire life, though maybe this should be my worst, because I was already low on air, and because I didn't have my dad right there with me helping me through it. The worst one was when my mom died, she died right there next to me. I was holding her hand when it happened.

Then I remembered the most important thing that happened, just when I started to black out, I heard Derek's voice and I remembered some new information. 

"Stiles! Stiles, come on. Wake up!" 

Then I remember I felt his arms wrap around me and lift me up. He must have been running because I felt his muscles move and heard his feet crunch on the ground.

Just before I decided to give up on trying to stay conscious, I heard his voice once again.

"Stiles you better stay with me. I need you Stiles. Me. The pathetic wolf, I need you. So you just hold on."

Then I blacked out. Next thing I knew,  
I was in a hospital, my least favorite place.

"Yeah. I remember." I said after several minutes.

"Good. Now you can answer a couple of my questions."

"Not before you answer a couple of mine." I said.

Derek raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" 

"Yeah. Number one, where is my dad?"

"He is down at the cafeteria with Melissa. They are really hitting it off."   
He said with a smirk.

"Okay, weird, though I expected this eventually. Number two, after my phone call, why did you come back?"  
He wasn't so quick to answer this time.

"I'm sorry I angered you so much. I thought that if I didn't tell you, I would be protecting you, obviously that's not how it works with you. I came back to. . . apologize I guess, and to tell you what was really going on, the full story."

"So tell me!" I raised my voice. 

"Not now. When you get home, I promise I will."

I sighed "Okay fine, but next question, number three. Why did you say you needed me?"

His face lost all expression and he didn't move an inch. After a few seconds, seconds that felt like minutes, he spoke.

"You heard that huh?" He hung his head.

"Yeah."

"All of it?" 

"I'm not sure."

"I said that because-"

"Stiles you're awake!" My dad yelled as he stormed in, slamming the door behind him.

Great. 

"Yeah dad I'm awake." I said with a small smile. I loved my dad, but I didn't want to see him right now, I wanted to talk to Derek and find out about everything.

He hugged me hard and I held back my moans of pain.

"Great, that means we can release you soon. Now son, tell me a few things. Why did you get in a fight?" Already his sheriff side had kicked in. 

"Ummm, he. . . The guy, Greenburg that is. . . He said something about mom and I just kind of snapped."

"Oh he did, did he?" 

I knew I probably shouldn't have said that, because my dad's neck and face turned red and his knuckles turned white. But beyond the anger, I also saw pain. After my mom died my dad didn't know how to react to hearing about her. He never wanted to talk about her, as shot me down every time I tried. 

"Dad it's okay, seriously. I'm fine. Just move on to the next question."

"Fine. So after you beat up that kid, great job by the way, you ran into the woods. Scott told me he tried to stop and help you, but you just kept on running. Why?" His voice quickly turned angry. "Why would you do that? Because of that you now have a sprained ankle and you have had the worst panic attack of your life, one landing you in the hospital! I thought you were going to die, Stiles! Why wouldn't you just breathe? I lost Claudia, and now you thought 'it doesn't matter!' Is that it? Your mom died and now you are just going to go and give up?" He yelled.

I winced. I wasn't sure if those last few words were supposed to get out, but they did. And after it, I felt everything in me snap. My eyes got blurry and I had to look away from him to keep the tears from spilling. All the while, Derek had still been in the room, listing to everything.

Then dad realized what he had said.

"Stiles, I'm so sorry. I-" My dad stammered.

"I don't care. Just get out." My voice broke at the end, and my throat was aching because of trying to hold in the tears.

"I'm sorry." He said before leaving. One thing I appreciated about my dad though, was that when I said to leave, he always did. 

He shut the door silently and when he did, I released the breath I didn't realize I was holding in.

"Sorry you had to see all that." I whispered to Derek.

He replied differently than I thought he would, though I didn't know what he would say.

"Are you kidding me? That was nothing. After the family died, Laura and I had fights all the time, and not just yelling and screaming, but physical fighting with claws and everything."

I was shocked that not only Derek had said something like that, but that he had spoke of his family. Maybe he was finally opening up. Though he was probably just trying to cheer me up.

"Well, that wasn't usual for me." I said.

"I know." He replied sincerely. 

I quickly returned to our previous conversation, trying to change the subject. 

"So you were saying? About what you said that night?"

"Yeah, um. It doesn't matter." He shook his head.

"Yes it does. It matters to me." 

Without a pause he told me.

"I said it because it was the truth. I'm a pathetic werewolf, who doesn't know how to fight, or lead a pack, or be an Alpha, or hell, just be a good person! And maybe I needed someone like you, someone who can make me smile, because he is so ridiculous, someone to make me believe in myself, so that I can stay sane half of the time! And I need you because you are a better person that I am, than I could ever be, and I guess I just needed someone to keep me believing that I have a purpose in this world."

I paused for a few moments, contemplating what I was going to say after Derek's long speech.

"You don't have to say anything." He whispered.

I shook my head. "You amaze me. Do you honestly believe that you are nothing? Yes you have made a lot of mistakes, but you have made a lot of good choices to. You knew that it was right to kill Peter, because you knew that if the myth about killing the werewolf that turned you would turn you back into a human was fake, you knew that Scott would be and Alpha, and that he wasn't ready for that. When you created a pack, you could have chosen three strong adults, but instead you chose three teenagers, all with disadvantages in there life, because you wanted to help them. You can say that it was to bug Scott or whatever, but I know the truth, you are good Derek. You do good things."

"Stile-"

"No, for once you are going to shut up and listen. When me and Scott came to your loft and explained the Jennifer situation, you could have not believed us. Even though we came to you before she arrived, you still could have chose her, but you didn't. You trusted two stupid teenagers."

I paused for a moment. And lowered my voice.

"And when I was the Nogitsune, you didn't know what was wrong, or going on, but you stopped to think and teamed up with the pack to figure out ways to save me, instead of killing me, though I knew you thought of it. You do good things Derek, you help people." 

"I have killed people before, Stiles." He whispered.

"You have killed people, but you have saved even more lives." 

"All that, that still doesn't make me good."

"What about Paige?"

He jerked his head up and looked at me. 

"H-how do you know about her?"

"Doesn't matter, but I do know that instead of letting her suffer, you helped her, by ending her life, by putting her out of her misery. It changed the color of your eyes, but it didn't change you. You're still the same Derek, just with a beard." I smiled.

Derek stood up glaring at the floor and walked out of the room without another word.

"Well that went well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got a little teensy bit of Sterek. Hope you guys liked it.


	8. Phone Call

After another grueling night of staying in the hospital, I finally got to go home. As we drove home, I kept thinking about Derek, about how he just stood up and left without a word, much like at the clinic, but this time, for whatever reason, I wasn't mad.

Was he mad? Did me bringing up Paige hurt too much for him to face me? Once again, I had ruined it.  
By 'it' I meant Derek and this 'thing' that we had going, maybe you would call it a friendship, or maybe just a mutual agreement not to hate each other. He was finally beginning to open up and be less of an asshole. Now he was probably going to start telling me to shut up and slamming me into stuff again. 

Welcome back bruises.

"Alright kiddo, we're home." My dad said.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and open up the door to get out. 

"Are you sure you don't need help?" He asked.

"No dad, it was just a panic attack and a sprained ankle. I didn't lose a limb or anything."

"I know. . . I-I just worry about you kid, you're all I have left."

"Yes I know dad, you reminded me of that at the hospital." I snapped.

I ended my dramatic statement with a slam to the car door.

We weren't exactly buddies again. 

I climbed up the stairs and jumped straight into bed. But of course, a few seconds later my phone rang. I retrieved it from my back pocket and answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I asked sleepily.

"Stiles." A deep voice said.

"Um yeah, who is this?"

"That's not important right now, little one. I am here to talk to you about your recent supernatural encounter."  
He sounded young, but not like a kid, he was an adult. 

I didn't know what to say, so instead of trying to press farther into who this guy was, I decided to continue this lovely conversation. 

"Um, okay, which one?" I asked. I didn't feel like playing the 'I don't know what you're talking about,' card, so even if this was a prank, I would go along with it because I was too tired to out up a fight, and possibly still loopy from the drugs. 

I probably should have hung up by now, but I was curious who this guy was and what he knew. I only knew a certain amount of supernatural creatures and I knew there was more, but where? 

"I think you know which one Stiles, though I forget, you are a magnet for trouble. However, I am talking about the Nogitsune."

I stopped breathing. My heart was beating and my palms were sweating. 

For once in a long time, I didn't know what to say, so I asked the simplest question.

"How do you know about that?" My voice shook. 

"Oh Stiles, come on now, I hear you are a bright boy. You can figure this out. There are more supernatural creatures around, not just in Beacon Hills, as you well know. And word travels fast. If there is danger, or a threat, everyone needs to know to protect their pack, family, whatever it may be. Not all creatures hear about everything, but I do. I have people who find out information, then report it back to me. And you, Stiles, were one of the biggest threats around, for a while."

"Well trust me buddy, you may know the short story, but you don't know the details about me or what has been going on." I said sternly. I wasn't going to let this chump boss me around.

"Maybe not, but I think I know enough. I know that Derek Hale, who's family burned to death in a fire because of a Argent hunter, bit Scott McCall, your best friend, who is also in high school, or so you thought. It was actually his psychotic uncle, who you all thought to be in a coma. I also know that Derek's uncle. . . Peter, I do believe, tried to kill all of you as an Alpha, however he did not succeed. Though thought to be dead, killed by Derek, he rose again and is now a fully functioning werewolf. I also know that a minor, Jackson Whittmore, wanted to be turned by Derek Hale, the Alpha werewolf at the time. Unfortunately, his body wasn't compatible with the bite, and he turned into a gaint lizard. A kanima. As well as that, I know that an Alpha pack came into town, stirring up some trouble for your so called 'pack,' but apparently not enough, you defeated them as well. Along with dealing with an Alpha pack, you had to deal with a Durrach. Nasty creatures, those are. But alas, you have killed her as well. Jennifer, was it? Yes that's right, and Derek had a thing for her. Tisk tisk. But perhaps the pack's and your most difficult challenge has been the Nogitsune. A powerful japanese demon. Yes, I know all about how you killed people and how your friends didn't want to kill you, becuase they thought somewhere inside you, you were still Stiles. Eventually, you did fix that problem as well. Congratulations, you have defeated four. . . challenges."

"Challenges? Those weren't little challenges or games, people died because of those 'challenges.'"

"Oh yes, I heard. Your little friend Allison, the hunter. She died, because of you. And your ally, Aiden, the werewolf. He also died because of you." He chuckled.

It was true, it was my fault, but that didn't mean I liked hearing it. My eyes stung as I fought the tears, and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat before speaking.

I opened mouth to say something when he spoke instead.

"Have I proven to you now that I know all about you Stiles?"

'Yes.' I thought in my head, but it wasn't true. He didn't know anything about me. He just knew about my supernatural encounters. Not about me personally. Not Stiles Stilinski. Nobody truly knew a lot about me. They just thought a was some spaz with ADHD who didn't know how to shut up. Which was all true, but I had more to me then meets the eye.

"You don't know anything about me. You know about the battles that I have won, but you don't know me." I smiled to myself.

"Ah, but dear Stiles. You didn't win. Your friends did. They all have something special about them, all have some kind of power that has saved your ass from being in a grave right now. Derek, as a werewolf. Scott, as a werewolf. Peter, as a werewolf. The twins, Ethan and Aiden, as werewolves, who also transformed into a bigger Alpha werewolf. Isaac, as a werewolf. Boyd, as a werewolf. Erica, once again as a werewolf. Jackson, as a werewolf/kanima, though he didn't do much to help did he? Lydia as a banshee. Kira, as a kitsune. And lastly the late Allison Argent as a hunter. Your friends may have won the battles for you, but most lost their lives because of you. Because they had to save poor little fragile humans like you. You Stiles, are nothing."

I wasn't going to say it wasn't true. It was. Nobody ever gave me a second glance. I didn't have strength, or claws, or fangs, or insane speed, I didn't have fighting skills, and I couldn't even see in the dark without a flashlight. I still suffered from a cold, while the rest of the group besides Lydia, would never have to deal with that.

"Oh dear Stiles, don't fret. I am going to do you a favor."

"What favor?" I growled out.

"I am going to help you be stronger. Help you fight. Help you be greater. The sad part is, there is a small chance that it won't work, but if it does, once it is done, you won't remember it ever even happened. Go ahead and tell your friends. I like a little bit of a challenge. I will see you soon dear Stiles."

The line ended. 

What the hell did that mean? A favor? And once it was done I wasn't going to remember? And perhaps the scariest part, he said he would see me soon. I normally would subside this as a prank call or something, but he knew about everything. And everyone.

I didn't care what that douche bag said. I was going to call the pack and say something, because this might not just effect me. 

I guess this guy was coming sooner than I thought, because I just heard a knock on the window. . . Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who could it be?


	9. Who's Knocking?

Have you ever felt like someone was watching you? When the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and your hands become sweaty and your heart races. Your mind is telling you two different things. Fight or flight. You can either turn around and face what is behind you. Fight. Or you can never turn around and run. Flight. 

After all the experience I have had, I decided to fight, or at least I was going to turn around and find out what was knocking. I mean come on, I'm Stiles Stilinski. I'm a curious boy.

I slowly turned around and looked out my window. I didn't see anything, not because there wasn't anyone there, but because it was too dark.

"Great. I have to get closer." I whispered out loud.

I slowly walked forward and my heart stopped. 

"Thank god!" I said.

I opened the window.

"I swear, right now is probably the happiest I have ever been to see you. I thought there was a murderer!"

"Stiles, why would you think there was a murderer?" Derek said.

That's right, as always, it was Derek Hale.

I knew I should have told him what had just happened, that was my plan since I got that phone call, but. . . what that mysterious guy said suddenly stopped me.

"Go ahead and tell your friends. I like a little bit of a challenge."

Why would he say that unless he wanted me to tell them? I wasn't about to go and risk the lives of my friends and Derek. Wait. . . Was Derek even considered my friend? Or was he something different? I pushed the thought out of my head and instead I answered with the simplest and most reliable answer. A Stiles answer.

"You know me, I always think there is a supernatural creature trying to attack me. . ."

He looked at me suspiciously and I was afraid he had figured out that something was wrong.

"Right. Yeah. . ." He said awkwardly.

Then there was an awkward silence. Of course. As long as Stiles is around everything is awkward. God, why can't I just be a normal kid? I mean besides all of the supernatural shit, I'm still just this jacked up kid who could write a book about all his problems. 

Just as I was about to break the silence, he spoke.

"I. . . I'm sorry that I left the hospital like that." 

I was stunned. Did he just apologize?

"W-What?"

"Really Stiles. You're going to make me say it again?" He hissed. 

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know that the mighty Derek Hale apologizes!" 

He growled.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry. Thank you, but really I should be apologizing. I shouldn't have brought up any of that stuff, especially Paige, but I still meant what I said."

"No. Don't say you're sorry. From the beginning I should have been more open with you guys. I didn't leave because you brought up Paige. I mean, I did partly, but. . ."

"But what?" I asked.

"Never mind. Just forget it." He said, then turned away.

I grabbed his arm and spun him around.

"Nope. Uh-uh. Not happening. I have finally begun to get you to start opening up, you're not going to just not finish the sentence, tell me to forget about it, and then never speak of again. It's not happening. Tell me what you were going to say." I demanded.

He didn't say anything, he just stared.

Then, he did the unthinkable, he smiled. A true genuine smile. Not a 'I'm gonna rip your throat out' smile. Not a 'I'm wasted' smile, but a real smile. 

"Holy shit!"

"What?" He said while still smiling.

"You. . . you're smiling!"

He looked around. 

"Yes, it's what people do when there happy, Stiles."

"Well, yeah, I know, but. . . you've never smiled before. Well, I've never seen you." Then he stopped smiling. 

"That's because I don't do it often."

"I know, so why were you smiling? I didn't say anything funny. And when I do, you never laugh or smile anyway."

"Because I find you amusing." He answered.

"Amusing? What's so amusing about what I just said? Or do?"

"It's amusing to me, because you're so persistent. You never give up. No matter what is."

I frowned. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Maybe. But it's still amusing to me."

"We'll, I'm glad I can. . . entertain you . . . Or whatever."

"Right. So, why were you so scared when I was at the window?"

"I told you, I thought you were, like, a serial killer! You can't just knock on someone's window, and expect them not to be startled."

"Hmmm. . . No. I don't believe that, because you never get scared when you're up against something much bigger and though your heart may jump a little, you're never truly frightened when there is a knock at your window. So why would you be scared now?"

"How do you know that I'm never scared?" I asked as I crossed my arms. 

I know, I know. I sounded like a four year old.

"Because I just do. I know you Stiles. I know how you think. I know what your actions are before you even come up with them yourself." He smiled.

"What are you psychic now?" I chuckled.

His smile then disappeared and he stepped closer to me. He was very serious now.

"No. I just know you better than you think I do."

I held my breath. He looked down at our chests and then stepped back, clearing his throat.

"So, uh, what was it? That made you so scared that is."

"Um. Nothing. It was nothing."

"That's not fair. You can't tell me to tell you stuff when you never tell me anything."

"Uh yeah it is fair, because you never told me!"

"True." He answered simply.

"Fine. I'll make you a deal. You tell me what you were going to say, and I will tell you what had me afraid."

"Wow. Stiles negotiates?"

"Shut up. Is a deal or not?"

"Fine. Deal."

"Alright." I answered smiling.

He swallowed. I could tell he was nervous. But why would he be nervous? I mean, it couldn't be that bad. . . could it?

"I. . . I left the hospital that day, because I had figured out that the only way you could have known about Paige is because Peter told you. I was mad and I was going to talk to him. I was so mad that he told you because I didn't want you to know about her, because she is a part of the bad side of my past."

"Dude. We all have skeletons in the closet. And what happened to her isn't your fault. We don't blame you."

"Who all did Peter tell?"

"Me and Cora."

"That's it?"

"Yeah." I answered. 

"Of course." He growled.

"Of course? What does that mean?"

"Nothing. I just thought the whole pack knew."

"Oh. Well why would he only tell me and Cora? I mean I understand telling Cora because she is your sister and, yeah, maybe I just know because I was there, but is there more to it?"

He paused and looked away.

"Derek?"

No answer.

"Derek." I said more sternly. 

"Yes." He whispered.

"Yes?"

"Yes, there is another reason he only told you." 

"Well what is it?"

He smiled and looked up at me. "That wasn't part of the deal."

"Ugh! Seriously?"

He didn't say anything, he just smiled.

"You're not going to tell me are you?"

"Nope."

"Dick." I said.

He just kept smiling.

"Okay, I thought I liked seeing you smile, but you're just being an asshole now."

No response.

"Don't make me say it."

He raised an eyebrow. Then I was the one to start smiling.

"Sourwolf."

He smile shrank down to a frown, but mine got bigger.

"You didn't."

"Oh, but I did."

"I'm going to get you back."

"Oh really? This means war Hale!"

He rolled his eyes. "Fine whatever, but I think you have forgotten about your end of the bargain." He said.

Shit.

"Nope, not forgotten."

"Oh? Then do tell." He smiled.

I stopped smiling. "I can't."

"What? But you agreed. You have-"

"Yeah I know. But seriously, I can't."

He stopped smiling when he realized I was serious. 

"Why not?"

I swallowed. "Because it will put you in danger."

"Are you kidding me right now? That's it? Danger? I have almost died, like, twenty times. I don't fear danger." 

"Yeah, but this is different. If you got hurt, it would be my fault. And I can't live with that, not after . . ."

I stared at my toes as if they were were the most interesting thing in the world.

I then felt Derek's thumb and index finger grip the bottom of my chin and gently lift my face up.

"Stiles. I made a promise to myself a while ago that I would never let anything hurt you. I broke my promise many times, and I don't want to break it again. No matter what happens, even if I die, I will do it protecting you."

"I'm not going to make you do that. You can't do that. No one should have to protect me. I should be able to myself."

"I'm not saying that you can't, but-"

"No. It's true. I really can't. I'm weak. I can't do any of the things that you can, so I don't want you to waste your life on someone like me. I'm just a speck of dust floating in the atmosphere. And you're an entire galaxy. I'm not anything. I don't mean anything."

"That's not true at all." He paused.   
"It's my fault that you think that, isn't it? I tell you all the time that you're just a waste of space. Stiles, I'm so sorry. I just. . . I-I don't know why-"

"Stop. Just stop. You can't take back what you said. I'll never know why you have said what you have. . . but, ever since I've met you, I knew, that there was a good person inside you. I knew that all that stuff was just a mask. You were hiding your true self because you were afraid of what people would think. You don't want to be known. You just wanted to be left alone and titled as 'the boy who lost his parents in a fire.' I'm sorry, but now that you've let me in, I'm not backing out. I'm not giving up on you Derek Hale."

I didn't know what he would say or do after that. I thought maybe he would push me up against a wall and tell me to stay away from him. Or maybe he would tell me that he didn't want me to care, because he didn't care about me anyway. But it didn't really matter to me what his response was going to be. I just knew I had to get that off of my chest. 

After that he didn't speak for a while. He didn't move, he just stared at me. 

"You have no idea what you do to me." He finally spoke. "You drive me crazy. You should hate me. You should avoid me. Yet you don't. You're actually nice to me! Why? I don't deserve any of this! I don't deserve to even be speaking to you right now! I ignore everyone, only associating with anyone if I have to. But. . . sometimes I just get this urge to come and see you. It's like you take all the pain away." 

Now it was my turn to just stare.

"I want you to know, I'm not backing out either. I will always be here, whether you like it or not, I'll always be here. Because I don't think I will ever find another person like you. And I'm selfish. I'm very selfish, because I'm never going to let you go." 

I didn't know what I was doing. It was like my body moved before my brain could even think. 

I grabbed Derek and I pulled him into a bone crushing hug. For the second time tonight, he surprised me. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back.

He was so warm. God he was warm. I didn't want him to ever leave. 

"Stay." I whispered in his ear.

"Okay." He whispered back in mine.

Once we broke apart I grabbed some clothes and made my way to the bathroom to take a shower.

I turned on the water and once it got hot, I stepped inside. 

I hummed as the hot water sprayed my back. I didn't realize how tight my muscles were. I just stood there for a moment before I started to actually wash. 

Once I was done with my shower, I stepped outside into the cold air. I quickly dried myself off and slipped on some underwear and sweats. When I reached to grab my shirt, I realized I had forgotten to grab one. 

'Great. Time for embarrassment.' I thought.

Though I usually slept without a shirt, I was going to sleep with one tonight because Derek was going to be in bed with me.

Okay, that sounded bad.

I meant sleeping though. Because I mean, I wasn't going to let him sleep on the floor, that's just rude.

I groaned and opened the bathroom door to go back to my room.

I guess I shouldn't have worried about the t-shirt though, because laying on my bed fully exposed, was an extremely sexy Derek Hale in his under wonders. That's right folks, he was lying on my bed in only his black boxers. The position he was in made him look even hotter. He had his feet crossed and his hands behind his head with his eyes closed. I was suddenly even more self conscious.

He smiled and opened his eyes. I licked my lips nervously. Without saying anything, he scooted over.  
I quickly hopped in bed and squirmed around a bit. My heart was hammering.

'Why am I so nervous? It's just Derek! We're just two ol' chummy buddies sharing a bed. Like me and Scott! Oh who am I kidding. . . this is nothing like me and Scott.' I thought.

I flipped around to where my back was facing him and starred at the wall in front of me.

His hand snaked up my arm and the hairs on the back of my neck pickled upwards.

"Relax." He whispered breathily into my ear.

My heart picked up even more.

"Stiles. Relax." He whispered again.

How was I supposed to relax when there was a hot werewolf behind me?  
Wait. No. I mean yeah, Derek is hot but, lets not get these thoughts, Stiles.  
He rubbed his hand up as down my arm repeatedly. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on breathing.

I was just getting it under control when he slipped one of his legs in between mine. 

I snapped my eyes open and once again my breathing picked up.

He moved his hand from my arm to my stomach, sliding it down very slowly. He started to rub circles on my stomach and chest and I had to suppress a moan.

Why was I feeling like this? This was supposed to be comforting! Right. . . ?

"Stiles. I can't go to sleep if you heart keeps beating like that. Just relax."

I closed my eyes and focused on his hand on my stomach. The pattern of it. How his blazing hot hand felt on my warm stomach. How it was soft, yet firm. Surprisingly, I got tired then, and I fell asleep.


	10. I'm That Lame Guy

I woke up peacefully for the first time in a while. When I opened my eyes, I saw Derek's face. He looked perfect like this. His face was relaxed and didn't have a angry expression on it.

The only expression was peace. This was the one time I had ever truly seen Derek Hale happy and at peace. I wanted to see him like this more often.

His eyelids fluttered before opening. His eyes focused and he looked at me grinning. I thought he would stop but he never did.

"What? Why are you smiling?"

He paused before answering. "I just like you like this. Your hair tousled, your sleepy eyes. You're beautiful."

"Oh. Well uh thanks?" I never knew how to take complements. 

I rolled over off of the bed and went to the bathroom. I don't care what people tell you, everybody has to piss in the morning.

Once I was done, I made my way back to the bedroom, only to see that Derek was not there. I made my way down stairs, looking everywhere for him, but I still could not find him. I walked outside to see if he was there, but he wasn't. 

"Derek?" I called out. No answer.

"Derek? Where the hell are you?" 

No answer.

I wasn't going to be one of those pathetic people in the movies who just stood there calling out the person's name, until something jumped out and killed them, I was going to find him.

So where would a werewolf be? I looked around and my eyes rested on the woods. Of course.

I trudged through the woods, looking around. I probably should have called out for Derek, but like I said, I wasn't going to be that lame guy. Besides, if Derek was out here, he would hear me.

It seemed as though Derek was making a habit of leaving me without notice, though this time I was worried. 

I shivered and looked down at myself. I was still wearing my sweats and didn't have a shirt. It was probably fifty degrees out here, and without a shirt, I was freezing my balls off.

"Alright Derek, come out, come out where ever you are!" I yelled. I was getting more worried by the second. 

Just as I ended my sentence, I heard a twig snap behind me. 

"Derek?" I asked. Crap, I sounded like that lame guy from the movies. Call me Earl, cuz I'm the dweeb of this movie now. 

A growl came from behind the trees on the opposite side of where I heard the twig snap.

I whipped around frantically looking in the trees to try and see who or what it was. But I couldn't see anything. It wasn't dark and I didn't have that bad of eye sight, there just wasn't anything there for me to see. 

Now I started to get mad. I came all the way out here to look for a stupid werewolf who probably didn't even want to be found, I was now freezing, and there was some stupid jack ass messing around with me. Whether it was a squirrel or a human, I was going to give it a peace if my mind.

"Alright asshole! Quit jacking around!"

"Wow Stiles, you have quite a mouth on you." 

It was a low murmur and I barely heard it, so I definitely wasn't able to tell who it was. Whoever it was, they were enjoying themselves. 

"What the? Who is that?" I thought as I squinted my eyes looking into the woods.

"Yeah okay, sure, whatever, just come out here!"

"I really wouldn't think such a small little guy would be so fierce, but you have proven me wrong. Many times in fact. You are. . . brave." The voice said. But this time it was from behind me. I whipped around again. I could tell the voice was closer, and it was a man.

"Thanks for the complement?"

"No problem." The guy said.

Then he stepped out of the brush and I saw who it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the climax if the story. After this, shit will go down! Haha. Hope you guys enjoy! Also, this chapter is super short and a total tease, sorry about that. Hopefully the next chapter will make up for it.


	11. I'm Not Just Anyone

I was pretty sure that I was going to have to buy some of those old people diapers, because pretty soon, I would actually piss myself. I wasn't even sure why I was that scared, the person standing before me wasn't horrifying.

In fact, he looked quiet normal. But perhaps it was the fact a complete stranger was out here in the middle of the woods talking to me, that frightened me. Yes, that was it.

It wasn't Derek, the person I was hoping to see, and it wasn't Peter who I would dread seeing, but at least they would be a familiar face.

The man standing before me was a simple looking person. He was tall, probably around 6'4" and was very strongly built. Underneath his black shirt, you could see the muscles on his arms and chest protruding. He also had brown hair that was messily styled, but his face looked relatively normal. He had tanned skin and all of his features were normal, brown eyes, a medium sized nose, and what I assumed would be a nice smile, though I couldn't tell because be wasn't smiling. But who was this man?

"Who are you and what the hell are you doing out here in the middle of the woods?" I asked questingly.

"I could ask you the same question. Though I know your name, Stiles." He said. His voice was smooth, but still had an edge to it, like coffee, just before you put milk and sugar in it. I soon recognized the voice to be the same one as on the phone. 

I squinted my eyes and glared. "You! You're the guy that called me last night! How did you even get my number?"

He chuckled and exposed his straight, white, teeth. I was right, he had a nice smile. 

"Indeed I am. And it doesn't matter how I got you number, what matters is that I made a promise to you Stiles. A promise that I would help you."

"I don't need your help." I spat. I had no idea who this guy was, and there was no way I would take anything from him, including his help. 

He tilted his head questioningly. "But you're a human surrounded by supernatural creatures, surely you don't want to stay a weak little mundane?"

"Actually, I'm fine just how I am, thanks!" I snapped. And even if I did want to be turned, I could have been a long time ago.

He glared at me. "Though I enjoyed your spunky attitude and personality on the phone, you will not disregard respect! Got it?" Though he didn't shout, or even speak loudly, his voice had a type of authority that made you want to instantly bow down. But I'm not just anybody. I showed no sign of any defeat, I chose to smile, because I'm Stiles fucking Stilinski.

"And who are you exactly? If I should be treating you with respect, or whatever, I should probably know who you are." I crossed my arms.

"I suppose that is true. You are going to be spending a lot of time with me, so we should probably get to know each other." He smiled. "My name is Collin."

"Collin, huh? Alright, Collin." I spat out his name. "What did you mean spend a lot of time together? You must know I'm not going anywhere with you, and I have no intentions of seeing you again, except for maybe in jail."

His smile widened. "I said I was going to help you Stiles, but it will take time."

I was getting annoyed. He needed to stop stalling and tell me what was going on! What did he mean by all this? I obviously wasn't going to go along with any of it, but I would still like to know what he is talking about.

"What do you mean?"

"Patience! Come with me and I will show you." 

Patience? He spoke like he was a old man. Who the hell was this kid? Or man I guess, he looked to be about his mid to late twenties. Though I wasn't sure about his age, I was sure of one thing, there was no way in hell I was going anywhere with this guy.

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I don't need your help, either. So why don't you just leave me alone?" I really didn't see why he seemed so fascinated with me. There wasn't anything special about me, though maybe that's what he liked.

He smiled darkly. "I was afraid this might happen, though I was hoping you would be more willing, I am helping you after all."

"Again with this helping thing! What do you mean?"

"In time! Right now, you're coming with me."

I stood my ground.

"You wish, asshole!"

He tried to grab my arm and yank me forward, but I wasn't budging. After all of this werewolf shit, I wasn't about to be kidnapped. That was too simple.

"I really don't think you want to be messing with me. On top of my membership in a pack full of werewolves and other supernatural creatures, my dad is the sheriff." I didn't usually use the sheriff's son card, but I felt I had no other option. 

"You really think I'm scared of a couple teenagers and a old man? If you don't willingly come with me, I'm going to take you anyway, and it will be unpleasant." He grabbed my arm once again. 

"Unpleasant? Who the hell do you think you are? Get your hands off of me!"

He eyes seemed to darken and his smile disappeared.

"Fine." He spat.

He grabbed both of my arms, digging his nails into them and started to drag me away. He soon realized that this wasn't going to work, not with me, and stopped after a few feet.

"Damn. I should have brought some zip ties. Or maybe a knife. . ."

A knife? I thought. Clearly this guy was a kidnapper.

"You're not going to stop moving or shut up, are you?"

"Of course not! If someone is kidnapping me, I'm not exactly going to go along with it!"

He frowned. "I wouldn't call this kidnapping. . ."

"I don't care what you call it! I'm not going anywhere." I was small, but I would do my best to stay away from this guy. If only Derek was here to kick some ass for me.

He smiled darkly once again. "Oh, but that's what you think."

I didn't see he had a rock in his hand, but I felt it when he swung his arm out and struck me hard against the temple. It was one of the worst pains I had ever felt. It knocked me out, and I wasn't sure if I was going to wake up.


	12. Strange Places, Strange Feelings

"Wakey wakey." 

I heard the voice, but I still felt like I was dreaming. Like when you are asleep, and suddenly your alarm makes it's way into your dream, like it's a part of it, but then too soon it wakes you. I wanted to stay asleep, but I felt like something was off, something wasn't right. I decided to ignore the nagging thought, and return to bliss. 

Well, to be quiet honest, it was one of the worst sleeping experiences of my life. My bed felt like a rock, and my head was pounding. But even with these circumstances, I felt extremely tired, like I couldn't wake up. Like I was on some sort of sleeping pills.

"Wake up." The voice said. This time the voice was much sharper. All gentleness was gone. 

I slowly regained consciousness. It was like my body woke up one piece at a time. Once I realized I was awake, I tried to open my eyes, to see who this person was that woke me from my slumber. It was hard at first, like my eyelids were glued down, but I finally peeled them open.

Everything was blurry, I felt like I needed to put on glasses, though I had perfect vision. My sight soon cleared a little, and I took it my surroundings. 

Though my vision was still blurry at times, and my eyelids were still threatening to fall, I could tell one thing, this wasn't my room.

"Ah. Sleeping beauty awakes." The voice spoke. I turned my head and looked at the person who spoke. The man in the woods. . . Collin. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked around again.

I was in a small brick room, one that looked more like a large closet, rather than a room. There was a small bench in the back, which I was laying on, and in front of me was a thick metal door with bars on it. There were also chains to my left. What were those used for? Pinning someone up? Trying to keep some one for escaping. . . or trying to keep someone in? Or were they used for some kind of kinky Fifty Shades Of Grey sex act? Whatever they were used for, I was just glad I wasn't in them.

I returned my gaze back to Collin and sat up slowly. I got to look at him clearly for the first time then. His features were the same, gentle and young, but they didn't lack authority.   
His hair was a mess of brown waves, standing up in awkward angles, as if he had just rolled out of bed after a hangover and a night of sex. Yeah, it was very messy, but in a way, it suited his personality. 

He smiled. I should have felt fear, even just a little speck of it, but I wasn't afraid. I was. . . content. Which was completely wrong, I should be scared shitless. I was kidnapped, from the looks of things, and was put into some kind of cell. One thing I did feel was something sticky coated on my forehead. I reached up to touch it, and felt the tenderness of what felt like a giant bruise on my face. I winced. The sticky thing must be blood. I grimaced. What had that come from?

"What happened?" I asked Collin.

"Right. Sorry about that. I had to knock you out with a rock. . . you wouldn't come with me willingly."

I frowned. I didn't remember this, but it didn't mean it didn't make me upset. But even then, I still felt okay. What was wrong with me?

"We were afraid that when you woke up, you would be raviness, so we injected you with something to calm you down."

"Something to calm me down? You injected me?"

"Yes. That's what I just said, Stiles." Collin frowned.

"What did you inject me with?" I asked, growing impatient. 

"I'm not sure exactly. . ."

"You're not sure? Then why the hell would you inject me with it?" 

That's why I felt so calm, so at ease. But the drug must have been fading, because I was getting angry. 

"Relax, Stiles. You're fine." He said sternly. I decided to drop the matter, only because I didn't want to get knocked out again. 

I took a deep breath. "What did you mean by we? There's more of you?"

He laughed. "Why of course Stiles!   
There is an entire colony here. Around sixty people, actually."

"Sixty people? What is this? A reality TV show?"

"No, Stiles. This is your new family." He said seriously.

"New family?" I scoffed. "No thanks man, I have my own. I've got my own friends and family, my own life. So if you think for one second, that I'm going to stay here, you're sadly mistaken."

He smiled and his eyes seemed to darken as he did so. "Oh dear boy, you don't have a choice in the matter. I would stay and explain, but I have business to attend to. But don't worry, I'll be back. Frankie here, will stay and keep you company." I glanced at the door and noticed a man standing there. Had he been there the entire time? 

"Listen up, friend. I may be stuck here for hours, days, or even maybe weeks, but somehow, I will get out if here. But along the way, I'll make sure to kill you first." I smiled. He smiled in return, which creeped me out even more, though I didn't show it. 

"You don't even know what is coming for you, dear boy." He whispered. I'm not sure if I was supposed to hear it, but I did, very clearly. 

He then stood and left without another word, and as he left, Frankie entered. He turned and shut the door, locking both of us inside. If I was ever going to get out of this place, I needed more information. I would have preferred Collin, but it looked like Frankie was my only choice right now. 

"Hiya, Frankie." I said. I wish I could be more like Derek, and just threaten people to get what I want, but alas, I was just a skinny, human, teenage boy. So I tried to annoy people to death, confusing them along the way with my amazing sense of humor that no one seemed to understand. 

"Hi." He returned. Though he held his head high, I could see he was nervous.

That was perfect, the less strong he was, the easier to break. Frankie, I realized, was not so much of a man, he was more of a boy, another advantage. He looked about eighteen years old, and had sandy blond hair. His eyes were blue and stood out with his matching blue shirt. He was taller, but not towering over me like Collin was. He also wore black skinny jeans, black converse, and a black leather jacket. 

Leather jackets look better on Derek. I thought. 

Overall, he looked like an average teenager, but I knew there was something different about him. There had to be, otherwise he wouldn't be partnered up with Collin. 

"So mind telling me where I'm at, exactly?" 

"A cell." He answered cockily.

"Thanks, Frankie, that's new information. Now how about telling me something I didn't already know?"

"The Latin word for penis is mentula."

I blinked and then slowly started to smile. "I like you. I know I shouldn't, considering you're part of my kidnapping, but I do. Where did you learn that anyway? Google?"

"I speak Latin." He smiled proudly. 

"Impressive. But not that impressive, my friend Lydia does too." 

He nodded. "I'm going to go get some stuff to clean up your head. Try to escape and I'll cut one of your balls off." 

"Well I'd prefer to keep both of mine in tact, so I'll stay here thanks."

"Good choice." He unlocked the door and walked out, closing it on the way out. I noticed that he didn't lock it, that was a sign if trust. Good, I needed that. Some people might run to the door and try to escape, but I wasn't stupid. Walking out blindly would just increase my chances of being killed rather that escaping, not to mention I might get one of my balls cut off. 

He soon returned with some supplies, and knelt in front if me. He began to wipe my forehead with a damp cloth and also began to ask me questions.

"So, how did you get this nasty thing anyway?"

"Got punched with a rock by your buddy Collin. "

"Nice."

He wipe my head with some kind of cloth, which stung like a bitch. I hissed and he murmured a sorry, then reached into the first aid kit and grabbed some kind of ointment.

"I didn't think that my kidnappers would be so nice. Well, one of them that is."

He smiled. "I don't like the term kidnappers, though I guess he did kidnap you. . . anyway, I don't mine treating your injuries."

"Why's that?"

"Wanted to be a doctor before. . ." He trailed off.

"Never mind. You're all done." He said while putting on my last butterfly bandage. And no, not a band-aid with a butterfly on it, but the ones you use to hold your cut together. I'm not that girly, I use Batman band-aids thank you. 

"Thanks." I said.

He packed up the stuff and returned it back to its original spot outside of my cell, but then came back shortly. 

"So what 'business' is Collin attending too?"

"Not supposed to tell you, strictly pack stuff, sorry." Any other human would dismiss the word pack, except I knew the meaning behind the word.

"Pack? So you guys are werewolves? I knew there was something off with you guys!"

"Shit! I wasn't supposed to tell you that. That was Collin's job. . . wait! How the hell do you know about werewolves?"

I laughed. "Oh Frankie, I know about a lot more than werewolves."

He rose an eyebrow. "Oh really? How much do you know?"

"A lot." 

"Okay. I'll quiz you then, since your such an expert." He said sarcastically. 

"Go for it."

He cleared his throat. "Is a human bit, or born as a werewolf?"

"It can be either, but only an Alpha can change you into a werewolf."

He frowned, showing me he didn't like to lose. "What happens when a human is bit by a werewolf?" 

"That's simple. If they survive, the bite, or scratch if it's deep enough, will heal, and soon your body will start changing. You have increased sight, smell, speed, strength, basically everything is heightened. And on your first full moon, you shift."

"Wow, I'm impressed."

He shouldn't be, not yet. I've got way more up my sleeve. I thought. 

"Okay, what do you know about the color of a wolf's eyes?"

"Easy one. All werewolves start off with yellow eyes. They signify a beta. But, once you kill an innocent, a human, they turn blue. And of course your eyes are red if you are an Alpha."

He nodded. "Okay, how do you become an Alpha?"

"Traditionally, you have to kill an Alpha. Then the color of their eyes will become your own, as well as their powers. However, there are such things as true Alphas, very rare though. They can become an Alpha without killing anyone, and are more powerful than most werewolves."

"Okay. I get it, you know a lot about werewolves. But what about other supernatural creatures?"

"Bring it on." I smiled.

"Kanimas?" 

"Been there, done that. Basically giant lizards who have claws, that produce a venomous slime that cause you to not be able to move for several hours. Kanimas seek a master, so once they are bonded to someone, they follow their master's every command."

"Nice. What about druids, or darachs?"

"Ugh. Nasty things. Well, the one I knew was an Alpha's emmasairy, but the Alpha wanted to become more powerful, so she had to kill her pack. She loved her emmasairy though, so she didn't give the final blow. Jennifer, that was what she called herself, crawled back to a sacrificial tree, where a virgin had been sacrificed. That sparked enough power to keep her alive, but she wanted to kill her Alpha and the pack that she had joined, so she started sacrificially killing people to gain power."

"Wow. . . that must have sucked."

"Yeah, it did, especially when your dad almost got killed by the same psychotic bitch."

"Any other things you have dealt with?"

"Yeah. . . a few."

"Well, tell me."

"Umm." I swallowed.

"Oh. . . It's one if those stories."

"What do you mean those stories?"

"The kind of stories that you don't like telling, because someone was hurt or killed. Or the kind of story that you don't like telling because you changed in the process. Maybe in a way you didn't or don't like."

"Try both." I whispered. 

Before Frankie could reply, Collin entered the room.

"Ah Stiles, I'm glad to see Frankie wasn't too rough on you."

"Have you finished you errands?" I asked bitterly.

"Not exactly. But they will be soon fixed. For now Stiles, why don't we get to talking about the future." He said with a gleam in his eye.

"The future?" I scoffed. "How about we talk about what is going on and why I am stuck in a freaking cell!"

"If you wouldn't be so reluctant to join me, you would find out that we are going to discuss these things. Come with me. If you refuse, you will stay in here, without food or water, until you decide to join me."

"Fine. Let's go."

"I'm glad you decided to cooperate this time, Stiles."

I wasn't glad.


	13. Helping

Though I was excited to finally leave my boring cell, I was kind of nervous about where we were going. But I knew one thing, I wasn't going to tell this guy shit. He could torture me, threaten me, whatever he wanted, but it wouldn't work. After all we had been through, I wasn't about to rat out my friends. Their lives were valuable, they were worth something. Many bad things have happened between all of us, but Scott, Kira, Derek, Lydia, Malia, Liam, and the rest of the pack that had died saving us, have saved lives. I was just there to watch. So if I had to die to save my friends, I would do it. Then again, I still didn't know if that is what this guy was up to. But if he was trying to keep his pack alive and strong, then he probably didn't want people like us in the picture. 

We started walking down a hallway, making many twist and turns. I started trying to memorize where we were going. After three rights and four lefts, I knew it would be impossible. 

Even if I wanted to memorize the route, I couldn't. But maybe it didn't matter, considering that I never saw an exit, and where ever we were going was probably not an exit. It was probably a room where they could torture me, or rip me apart. 

We finally stopped in front of a wooden door, not exactly what I was expecting, but hey, this place is pretty weird. Collin pulled out his keys, unlocked the door, then motioned for me to step inside. I'm not sure what I expected to see exactly, but I wasn't expecting this, it was a relatively normal room. The walls were made out of bricks, and the floor was wooden. There was a table and chairs in the center of the room, which is what I noticed first. 

There was one thing that was out of place though, I big metal door. It was very tall, and thick, and there were three big bars on the door, locking it shut. Either someone didn't want anyone to get in, or they didn't want something to get out. Either way, I chose to stay away from that door. 

'This must be the interrogation room.' I thought.

"Stiles, please take a seat." Collin said. I then noticed that I was still standing in the doorway and Collin was already sitting in one of the two chairs at the table.

I moved to the table where Collin sat and pulled out the chair from where it was safety tucked in, then flopped myself down.

"Now I'm sure you are very confused right now, Stiles."

"Confused? That's the word you chose? How about furious? Or extremely frustrated? You keep saying that I will learn stuff later, now is later, so let's skip the small talk and get down to business." I said angrily. 

"Very well. I would like to start off saying. . . we are not human."

I could tell this was going to take a while. Why couldn't he just come out and say 'hey, your pack is strong, and we don't like them, so we are going to use you as leverage, so they will try and find you. Then when they eventually find you, we will kill them.'   
I feel like that would be a lot simpler, even if it wasn't really what I wanted to hear.

"Yeah, you're werewolves, I got that, let's move on!" I said annoyed. 

"Oh really? And how did you know?"

Oh shit. I wasn't supposed to tell him that. Even if I wasn't necessarily buddy-buddy with Frankie, he seemed like an alright guy, which seemed crazy to say, but I mean, for someone who was in on kidnapping someone and possible killing them, he seemed pretty chill. 

"Uh. . ." I struggled to think of something to say.

"Ah. Frankie told you, I'm guessing? He always does have a hard time keeping his mouth shut. . . well, as you may have figured out, I am the Alpha. But I am far more that." His friendly voice suddenly turned dark and cold, as did his expression. "I know about every supernatural creature in the universe. I am the eyes and ears of all. If I tell someone to do something, they do it. I am the master to all Kanima's, I am the Alpha of all alpha's, I am the king of all creatures!"

I starred, blinked twice, then busted out laughing. I was losing my breath quickly and was now doubled over, holding my stomach, which was aching from laughing so hard. This guy actually thought he was superior. . . he wasn't. He was a phony, a wannabe. 

"What is so funny? Stop laughing!" Collin shouted, slapping his hands down on the table. 

"I-" I giggled again, wiping the tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"You seem to think that this funny. Why? I wouldn't be laughing at someone like me."

"Someone like you? I'm sorry, but if you're so high and mighty, or if your the leader of all, or whatever, then how come I'm never heard of you and nobody else has?"

"It's quiet simple actually, I don't like enemies. I like to remain a secret. If many people know about me, then they will want to challenge me, target me, and I prefer less enemies, I would rather spend time with my pack, instead of fighting all of the time. As terrible as you think I am, I am actually a quiet peaceful man. I only get involved in someone or something if it's important." He said. 

"So I am important somehow?"

"Absolutely."

"Why? I'm just a human. . ." I said.

"Right now, but even as a human, you are extraordinary. You will be one of the best betas here."

"Beta? Wait. . . are you implying that I am going to be a werewolf. . . in your pack?"

"That's exactly what I'm implying."

"You think that I'm going to be a werewolf, and you think I would be a good one? Look at me! I am the definition of weak!" I didn't want to be a werewolf, and he couldn't make me.

"Weakness doesn't matter here, we can train you. And though you don't think so now, yes you will be a great beta for me. Stiles, you are extremely smart, figuring out things that nobody else has ever been able to. You have more knowledge about supernatural creatures they probably do themselves. You will be a vital part of this pack."

"Yeah, okay, whatever you say oh might one, except there are a couple problems. I'm never going to let you turn me willingly, and if you somehow do bite me, and there is no guarantee that the bite will take, I'm still not going to do what you say. In fact won't that just cause more problems for you? I'm going to try and escape, but I will be 10x stronger, faster, and I will have better senses."

"Yes, well Stiles, I have a plan to fix all of that, so don't you fret." He said with a wink. 

I sat back in my chair and kicked my feet up on the table. There was no way that this would work, I would never go along with any of this willingly, and there was no way that they could ever force me, I would never buckle.

"Then shoot." I said.

"I can see that you think you have figured it all out. But have you thought about this? What if we didn't need to convince you? What if you had no opinion in the matter at all? Well, I can do that. I am going to erase your memories Stiles, and put in a few new ones. You will not remember anything about your friends, or Derek, except that they were bad people, people that made your life terrible."

I didn't stutter in the fact that he said friends and Derek, instead I continued with my protest. 

"But that's not true at all! You can't do that! I won't let you!" I shouted, standing up quickly. I stood up so fast, that my chair fell over. "You are not fucking with my brain!"

"I wouldn't have to Stiles, but the problem is, you don't want to live with us in peace, so I have no choice." He started to walk towards me, and I backed up. He kept getting closer, and for every step he took towards me, I took one back. But my back soon touched a wall, there was no where to go now. He got closer and closer until he was just a foot away. 

"Don't worry Stiles, it will be over before you know it, and you won't even remember this conversation!" He smiled, then grabbed my shirt and yanked me forward, then spun me around until I was facing the other wall and he was behind me. I felt his hot breath on the back of my neck and he started to trace his claws on top of my skin, making the hairs on my body stick up. 

"Please. Don't." Begging was my only option now. Without answering, he plunged his claws into my neck. Along with his claws came a searing pain in my neck. I let out a scream, this was one of the worst pains I had ever felt in my life, not just because of the pain of his claws inside of me, but because I felt like I was being emptied, like something was being pulled out of me, extracted out of me. I started to see black spots in my vision, and I felt like I was going to fall. But before I collapsed, Collin pulled his claws out of my neck, then turned my neck to the side where he had more access, and bit it. I felt warm blood run down my neck and chest, soaking my shirt. I screamed again in agony, then blacked out, falling to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter and are ready for the intense, fun, long chapters from now on!


	14. Awaking

I felt like I was waking up. It sure felt like I had been sleeping, but I never remembered falling asleep. I opened my eyes and saw I was in a room, alone. There was nothing around me, except for brick walls, and a metal door. Why was I in here? Was this room to keep me from escaping?

I stood up and moved towards the door. When I stood, I noticed something flake off of my neck. I moved my hand on top of my neck and felt around. I felt lots of dried blood, but no wound. My stomach rolled. 

Was this my blood? After all, with blood usually comes some kind of injury, and I didn't have one.

I walked further towards the door, and noticed there was no knob, or any way to open it, it was just a flat sheet of metal. I ran my fingers over the cold metal, then started to bang on the door. I wasn't sure why I was in here, but I wanted to get out. 

"Hey!" I tried to shout, but my voice was quiet and raspy. I needed some water. I cleared my throat, and coughed a few times, then tried again.

"Hey! Let me out!" This time, I was much louder. I proceeded to bang on the door, slapping and punching the door harder and harder, until I felt like the bones in my hand were going to break.

"Let me out of here!" I shouted. I was about to bang on the door again, but before I could land my fist on the metal, it opened, making me stumble forward and almost fall. There in front of me, was a man. The man was tall and looked very strong. He was wearing a white shirt and black jeans. He also had short brown hair that was messy, and many stray hairs were sticking up everywhere. He had tanned skin and all of his features were average. Brown eyes, a medium sized nose, and a nice white toothed smile. To be honest, he was very attractive.

"Hello, Stiles." The man spoke. 

Stiles. . . Stiles, that was my name. Of course. . . of course I knew my name, it just sounded strange to hear someone other than myself say it.

"Um. . . Hello." I said quietly. I had no idea where I was at, and this man seemed to know who I was, though I had no idea who he was. Was he going to hurt me? I suddenly became very afraid.

"Don't be afraid. We are not going to hurt you." He said. 

"We?" I said confused. That must have meant there were more people there. And how did he know I was afraid?   
The man smiled, and moved out of the door frame, walking into a second room that connected to the one I was in. This room looked the same, except there was a table and some chairs in the middle of the room, and there was a wooden door on the opposite side of where I was standing.

The man sat down in one of the chairs and motioned for me to do the same. I pulled out the other chair and sat down slowly. 

"I know that everything seems very strange right now Stiles, but everything with be explained." He said. I nodded my head. Sure it wasn't good to sit down and talk with a stranger in a strange place, but what other option did I have if I wanted to find out where I was and who this man was? 

"Okay. You remember werewolves, don't you Stiles?" 

"Werewolves? Those furry little demons in horror movies?" I said. Was this guy joking? 

"Think Stiles, they're still in there."

I furrowed my eyebrows. I didn't understand what he was saying, what did he mean they are still in there? Werewolves weren't real. . . Were they? I closed my eyes and tried to remember, remember anything. Then I remembered something. Though I couldn't exactly tell how I knew, I just felt it, a feeling so real, that it was hard to ignore. They were real. 

"Yeah, I remember. . . but how? I mean, I know they are real, I feel it, but I don't know how." 

"Stiles, I'm going to tell you what happened, the full story, and why you are so confused, but I don't what you to be overwhelmed. I want you to promise me something. Promise me that you will keep an open mind and try to remember. Can you promise me that?" 

This all seemed crazy. And I didn't know what was going on, or why I couldn't remember, but I wanted to find out. I didn't like feeling this way. 

"Okay. I promise." I said, looking into the man's eyes. The man took a deep breath, then slowly released it.

"Alright. You were originally born in Beacon Hills. When you were young, your mother passed away, and after she died, your father lost his mind. He never cared about you. You had to feed yourself, and care for yourself. After two years, he was taken to a mental institution. He is still there to this day."

"Why did he have to go to a mental institution? I mean, what exactly was wrong with him?"

"He was violent, he beat you, and left you alone for long periods of time. He was unfit to raise you, and unfit to be your father." 

The man looked up at me and gave me a look as if he was saying, 'Are you okay? Do you want me to keep going?' I nodded my head and then he proceeded.

"Your friend, Scott McCall, and his mother took you in. They were the closest thing to family you had. You all went to school, and made a few other friends. One day, you decided to be. . . adventurous, you and Scott, and you went out to look for a dead body that you had heard about on the news. In the woods, a werewolf bit Scott McCall, and ever since then, bad things have happened."

"Bad things? Like what?" I asked.

"Once Scott was a werewolf, you met others, werewolves and other supernatural creatures. You and your soon formed 'pack,' had to battle many creatures to stay alive. But the pack treated you terribly. Derek, treated you like dirt, like you were nothing to him. Always pushing you around and telling you what to do. He always hurt you for fun and said some truly terrible things about you. Both Jackson and Lydia did similar things. Allison seamed nice, but really, she was only your friend because she cared for Scott. Scott, hardly ever talked to you when he started dating Allison. But things got worse from there."

"Worse?" I said. The man nodded his head.

"Though you picked up more werewolves and other supernatural creatures and became stronger, death was always following you and your pack. But still, you remained loyal to the pack, because if you didn't, they said they would kill you, though they never would, because you were too important to their pack. You were smart, are smart, and could always figure things out. Soon, you got possessed, by a Nogitsune, a powerful japanese spirit. This spirit caused you to kill many people, though it wasn't actually you, it was the Nogitsune. The pack was furious, and tried to kill you, but never succeeded. You killed a major part of the pack, Stiles, you killed Allison, and on top of that, Aiden. When you did, the pack, and especially Scott, never forgave you. They wanted to kill you, but didn't, because they wanted to make you suffer even more. So they took away the one thing that you always wanted to keep, the one thing that kept you pure. . . they took away your humanity."

I furrowed my brows.

"That's right Stiles, they turned you into a werewolf. Derek, turned you. They chained you up, and tortured you, for weeks, like I said they wanted to see you suffer. You kept healing, so they kept going. But pretty soon, you became stronger and smarter, and you escaped, running to the woods. My pack and myself found you there, and took you in. . ." Once again, he looked at me, then continued.

"You were hurt, badly, and we almost thought you wouldn't make it, but you did."

"So, how come I don't remember any of this?" The man swallowed.

"They found you. . . they wanted revenge on us, for taking you, and on you, because you killed Allison and many others, like Aiden. They killed many of us. We fought them, but not fast enough. One of the strongest, most ravenous, took you, Peter. He erased all of your memories of us, and though myself and others have tried to replace those memories, you don't remember us." 

He looked at me, expecting me to say something, but I didn't know what to say. I just heard about my entire life story, and yet I couldn't remember any of it.

"So how did I get this blood on me?" 

"That would be from Peter, he bit you, trying to hurt you, but we took him down." 

"What about this place?"

"We found this place. Actually it had been in my family for a while. We decided to start over."

"When did all this happen?" I asked.

"A few hours ago." 

"So why was I in a locked room instead of a hospital bed? 

"They erased almost everything, Stiles, which means you don't know how to control the shift anymore. We were afraid that when you woke up, you might try and attack us. But it's all okay now, we can teach you."

"I don't want to be a werewolf." 

"You will later. We can be family again, would you like that Stiles?"

I didn't know this man, but I felt safe. 

I would learn to control the shift. I would be surrounded by people that actually cared about me. I would have a family, a pack. I felt like this was the right decision.

"Yes. I would really like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Stiles is getting a new life, and is a werewolf! Big changes! Hope you guys like this story so far and are excited for what's to come!


	15. New Beginnings

"I'm glad you decided to stay with us Stiles. I think you made the right decision." 

'I hope so.' I thought to myself. 

"Well," he clapped his hands together and stood up. "I am assuming you have many questions, so while I take you on a little tour, feel free to ask away."

We walked outside into a hallway, and my first question popped into my mind. 

"I have my first question." I said quietly. 

"Yes?"

"Well, you never told me your name."   
I said with a smirk. 

"Oh right!" He laughed. "My name is Collin. Collin Worth. I am the Alpha." He said with a smile, to which I returned. 

"So, where is the pack now?"

"In Beacon Hills, I suppose." He said. 

We walked into an extremely large area. There was a very long and large table, several yards long, stretching across the middle of the room. Towards the back, there was a wall that was just purely window, and in the front was a stage. 

"This is the chow hall. The entire pack all eats together, and we also have some of our meetings here. The scenery changes all the time, based on what we are doing with the room, but, this is one of the main points of the mansion."

Out of double doors, a women walked out with a large pot. She stumbled towards the table, and I saw that she was soon going to drop the pot. I ran over and caught it, just as the pot slipped her hands. I quickly moved the pot to the table and looked down at the small women.

"Thank you so much! I am afraid that if you had not been here, then we would have no supper! And you really don't want that with a large pack of hungry wolves!" She said with a cheery grin. She had a strong southern accent which seemed to echo in the large room. Her was red and frizzy, pulled back into a bun. 

"Alpha, who is this, may I ask?" She said, looking towards Collin. 

"Rosie, this is Stiles. The child we found in the woods, remember?" 

Collin looked at her differently then he had with me, as if he was warning her about something, but I didn't know what, so I dismissed the thought. 

"Oh yes! I'm sorry honey, you just look so different with some color on ya!" 

I smiled and looked at Collin for an explanation of who this Rosie was.

"Stiles, this is Rosie. She is our cook, and the main person for all things food." Collin said. I took my hand out of my pocket and went to shake Rosie's hand. She grabbed it, but pulled me in for a bear crushing hug, shaking me from side to side. 

"You're family now hun. We don't do handshakes, well I don't anyway!" She said, releasing me. Collin chuckled. 

"We are going to continue our little tour, Rosie, see you in a bit."

"See ya darlin!" She said with a smile. 

We continued walking out of the chow hall, and I remained quiet, for a little while.

"Next?" 

"Uh, next? What's next?" I asked confused.

He chuckled. "Next question." Oh, that's what he meant. I felt stupid then, like I should have hid my face. I didn't know why I was so embarrassed, but I felt my face flush bright red. 

"Right. Uh." I had to have at least a hundred questions running through my head, but I couldn't decide which one to ask. 

"Do you have a bathroom?" I asked. Collin looked at me strangely. 

'Classy, Stiles.' I thought. 

"Yes." He spoke slowly. "Down the hallway, first door on your right. I will wait here."

I practically ran to the bathroom, stumbling in and almost knocking my knee into a cabinet. I went to the sink and rinsed my face with cool water, hoping it would help clear my mind, or something. I honestly didn't really know why I did it, but I was pretty sure I saw it on TV somewhere. . .

I looked at myself in the mirror, and I almost didn't recognize the figure in it. 

I knew it was me, it looked like me. The wild brown hair, golden brown eyes, my pale skin dotted with moles.

It looked like me, but it didn't feel. . . . familiar. I felt like I was only seeing one side of the picture, like I was missing something. Though of course I was missing something, the majority of my memories. 

There was a knock on the door and I jumped a little when I heard it. 

"Stiles?" Collin said.

I looked at myself one last time in the mirror, smiled, and tried to put in my best 'I'm not freaking out face,' but of course it didn't work. 

"Stiles, what's wrong with you?" Collin asked concerned once I opened the door. 

"Nothing, I'm fine." The typical, almost automatic response for anyone trying to hide something. Smooth move, Stiles. 

He looked at me questingly, but to my surprise he ignored the queer look on my face and continued walking. 

"You must be starving Stiles." Collin said. Right on cue, my stomach gave a bellowing roar. Collin chuckled. 

"We are going to head back to the chow hall, where not only will you be able to taste the delicious concoction that Rosie has made for us today, but you are going to meet the other pack members." At this I got a sick feeling in my stomach. And it wasn't from the lack of food in my body. I'm sure Rosie's food tasted amazing, I was pretty willing to do that, but not too willing to meet the pack.

"Don't worry, everyone will be nice." He said with a smile. 

We walked into the chow hall once again, but this time, we weren't the only one's there. Sitting at the long table was many, many people, all claiming their own spot at the table. The food all sat untouched, though I would have figured that by now, with all of these people, the food would be almost all gone.

The room fell silent as we reached one of the ends of the table, where one open chair remained. This chair, unlike the others, was taller, and had detailing carved into it. 

I stood nervously by Collins side, looking like a frightened child standing behind his mother's leg.

"Everyone, your attention." He spoke. 

He really had no reason to say this, everyone was already staring. 

"This is Stiles, as some of you may know. For those of you who don't, this is him. We are going to except this man into our pack, as he is a vital source." 

"What?" Came a booming voice. All heads turned to the being that spoke the words. The man stood up quickly, almost knocking over his chair. 

"You can't just do that! We all have a place in this pack, we earned it. And now you are going to bring some skinny punk into the pack? That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard."

Collin's eyebrows furrowed, as he was now glaring at the man. 

"He is now a vital part of this pack, and you will respect him as one of your own." Collin said sternly. 

"One of our own? Vital?" The man scoffed. "How is this. . . this kid," He spit the word out like it was venom. "A vital part of our pack? He looks skinny, and weak. He won't last a day here. He is nothing." He spit out. 

I was never one to care about what people had said about me. I had been told all of these things before, so it wasn't a shock to hear it again, but I just got so angry. These people seemed to expect me to blend in and work with them so quickly. How could I do that, when I didn't even know what my past was like?

I felt my eyes start to burn and prickle, an extremely irritating and embarrassing thing that happened to me when I got angry. Why must the good lord above connect my anger to my eye balls? 

Collin glanced at me, and noticed the tears in my eyes. I wanted to run, to hide. I wanted to stay here, with Collin at least, but how could I stay with him if his other pack mates wouldn't even give me a chance? I was never good at making friends, but this was ridiculous. They wouldn't even give me a chance to show how I really was, who I was. They shot me down by just looking at me. 

Collin slammed his hands down on the table, making me jump. "You will not talk to your Alpha this way!" He yelled. 

The man looked worried for a minute, but quickly changed his expression back to its hard glare. I almost recognized this action from somewhere action, but I didn't know what from. 

"You may not know it now, but Stiles could change this pack forever. If you still want to be sitting at this table, I suggest you respect him, as an equal, got it?" Collin said sternly. The man just starred. Suddenly Collin's eyes turned a bright crimson red. "Got it?" 

"Yes." The man said.

"Yes what?" Collin said.

"Yes Alpha!" The man roared in defeat, bowing his head in submission, and also in embarrassment. 

Alpha, that word kept popping up. I was curious to what it meant. By the looks of it, it was very important, and applied to Collin. 

"I'm sorry for that Stiles. Take a seat next to me." I looked down, but there were not open seats. 

"Jasper. Move." The man that he spoke to was the same man that was insulting me just a few moments ago.

"Move? This is my spot. I'm your-"

"Yes, I know. Move." Collin said.

Jasper got up from his chair angrily and glared at me. He walked off to the end of the table, where a few chairs sat. 

"Well then, maybe now that all of the drama is out of the way, we can eat."  
Collin said with a smile. Though he seemed to have gave permission, no one moved a muscle. 

Collin uncovered a plate and grabbed a steak. He cut the first piece, which looked like it could still be mooing, it was that raw. He moved the piece into his mouth, and chewed thoughtfully. 

He looked at the people at the table and spoke. 

"You may eat." Quickly, all of the people grabbed food, and started talking. 

"Stiles, aren't you going to eat?" With all that had happened, I had forgotten to grab some food myself. I reached over and grabbed a piece of steak, and began to cut it. The meat was super raw, and I didn't think that I used to like it that way, but right now, my mouth watered with anticipation. I bit into the meat, and a moan escaped my lips. I heard Collin chuckle, then he proceeded to eat as well. 

I wasn't sure what this day was going to bring, but I felt like maybe this would all be okay. I felt as if I had a knew life, I got to start over. From this point forward, was a new beginning.


	16. Alpha. Beta. Omega.

Soon all of the food was gone, but people were still around talking. Though when Collin stood up, they all fell completely silent.

"There are no new announcements for today, apart from the arrival of Stiles of course. You all know what to do." Collin said, nodding his head once.

Everyone stood up and grabbed a plate or something on the table, carrying it back through the double doors. I moved to pick up a plate, but Collin grabbed my wrist.

"Thank you Stiles, but you won't need to be helping today. We still have a lot to talk about." He smiled softly. 

I nodded my head, and we started walking. 

"I'm afraid that we cannot continue the tour. That would take a while, and you wouldn't be able to memorize everything in the mansion anyways." He said with a smile. "You seemed to be thinking very hard during dinner. What were you thinking about?"

I figured now was the appropriate time to ask questions, so I looked at Collin. "What. . . What exactly is an Alpha?"

Collin raised his eyebrow. "You don't know what an Alpha is?" I shook my head.

"Well, an Alpha is the leader of the pack. There are three different ranks of werewolves. Alpha, beta, and omega." As he explained these things to me, we started to walk. 

I nodded my head to show I understood.

"Omegas are lone wolves, wolves without a pack. Betas are what you just saw. They are classified as normal wolves in a pack. They are slightly stronger than omegas, because they are a part of a pack. Packs make you stronger. An Alpha, as I said, is a leader, but is also much more. An Alpha is the one who controls the pack, leads the pack, and the more betas he or she has, the stronger they are."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "So. . . I am your beta, and you are my Alpha? You must be very strong, considering how many betas you have."

Collin chuckled. "Yes. My betas are very important to me. Though you are my beta, you are more than that too, as you will soon see." He said with a smile.

"Where are we going?" I asked. We were walking down a dark empty hallway. 

"My bedroom." He said.

"Bedroom?" I asked.

"Yes. Not only my bedroom, but this hallway is mine, and both are strictly prohibited. So you mustn't tell where it is at, if you have memorized the path. I have made it quiet difficult on purpose."

"Then why am I coming down here?"

"Because you are special Stiles. I don't want you staying in your own room. I want to protect you, and make you feel safe."

"But I thought you said I was safe here!" I said worried.

"You are. I just think you will be more comfortable with me."

"Oh." Though I didn't exactly want to be alone in the huge mansion tonight, I wasn't sure how I felt about being with Collin. He seemed so high and mighty, it almost seemed like a violation just to be walking with him side by side.

We reached the end of the hallway, where a large door was. Collin opened the door and lead me into what I assumed would be his bedroom. 

"My room is a little different. This hallway is like my house, I have different rooms, separate from the rest. This is my bedroom though."

"Wow." I said in awe. The room was massive. His walls were painted a dark red, much like his office, and his furniture was black and brown. He has a massive cream, red, and black colored bed in the center of the room, with two wooden bedside tables on opposite sides. He also had a black rug in front of his bed that went nicely on his wooden floors. On the rug was a large chest. Other than that, there wasn't much.

"I don't like to keep my bedroom crowded. I usually only stay in here to sleep. I do work and other things in my other rooms."

"Makes since." I said. I looked outside the windows and saw it was night time. 

He opened up the large chest in front of his bed and threw me some black sweat pants. 

"Change into those. They are much more comfortable then jeans."

I was waiting for him to tell me where the bathroom was, leave the room, or at least turn around, but he stayed put, only raising an eyebrow.

I slowly peeled off my shirt and tried not to look at Collin's gaze. When I looked up through my eyelashes, I noticed he was looking at my chest and smiling. Maybe he thought it was funny how weak I looked.

I wasn't strong, I never have been. I was skinny, defenseless Stiles. . . where had I heard that before? 

I took off my pants much more quickly than I did my shirt, wanting to get it over with. I put the sweats on and looked up at Collin, relieved.

Collin smiled. "I really don't see why you are so ashamed of your body and want to hide it. You're beautiful."

I blushed and looked at my feet. Beautiful? Haven't heard that one before. At least I hadn't heard someone call me that. 

I heard the rustling of clothes and looked up. Collin was changing as well. I felt like a creeper, because I wouldn't stop staring, but I guess it was fair, considering he wouldn't either.

Collin peeled off his shirt and revealed his perfect form. I was able to see his muscle definition with his shirt on, but when he was shirtless, god damn. He unbuttoned his pants, and looked up at me. He started to unzip his pants painfully slow, staring at me the entire time. I tried not to let my gaze fall to his crotch when he slid his pants down, but I failed. Luckily he wasn't looking. 

Collin didn't grab any pants, he instead decided to stay in his black boxers. He moved towards the bed, and pulled back the covers. 

"Hop in Stiles, I don't b- Never mind." He said with a smirk.

I climbed in, and tried to get comfortable. I embarrassingly let out a moan when I finally stopped moving around and settled. 

Collin chuckled from behind me.

The bed was just so damn comfortable, much better than what i was sleeping on. And something smelled so good. I know I sounded like a freak, but I had never smelled something so good. I quickly realized that the closer I got to Collin, the better it smelled.

I tried to ignore the glorious smell, and fall asleep. I didn't think I ever would, but luckily I was exhausted, so sleep came quickly.


	17. Losing Control

When I awoke, I was freezing. I remembered throughout the night I would wake up, and there would always be something blazing hot beside me, but that feeling was gone now. 

I opened my eyes, and looked to where Collin should have been. He was gone. I sat up in bed, looking around, but he was not anywhere to he seen. There was no note, no anything. He was just gone.

I got out of bed and looked on the ground for my clothes, but saw they were gone, as well as Collin's. 

'Great. Now I have no shirt.' I thought. 

Then I remembered that Collin got my sweatpants out of the chest in front of his bed, so I went there. I bent down in from of the chest, and saw there was a lock. 

I growled angrily. "Alright Stiles. Stop flipping out about your shirt, what's the plan?"

I walked over to the door and twisted the door knob. I was expecting some sort of alarm or booby trap to go off, but the only thing the knob did was turned until it opened. 

I opened the door and looked into the hallway, only to see nothing. 

I smiled as a thought came to me. 

Finally, I could explore a little. I had been under someone's watch this entire time, never getting to explore or go where I wanted to on my own. Now I could, as long as I didn't get caught that is. 

I walked down the long hallway quietly, though every once in a while the floors would creak. 

When I came to the end, I saw there was another hallway to my left, and also one to my right. 

The one to my right was really dark, and had an eery feeling radiating off of it. I didn't feel like being a scene in a horror movie, so I chose to go left. 

There was really nothing in the halls, apart from the occasional closed doors on the side. I had no idea where I was at, I must have taken twelve turns. I kept walking though, and saw light at the end of this hallway. 

I speed walked there, and saw that the light was coming from the chow hall. Finally, some place I was familiar with. 

There was no one inside the chow hall, and it was very quiet, unlike yesterday during dinner. 

My stomach seemed to remind me that I hadn't eaten by letting out a fierce roar, but food would have to wait. 

I walked into the vast room, taking in my surroundings. I was in the center of the room, and saw there were four main hallways coming off of it. I knew which one I came out of, so naturally I wanted to go in another one, though a small voice in my head was telling me not to go anywhere. I told that voice to shut the hell up, and went into one of the hallways.

Immediately when I was in that hallway, I heard something. Many somethings actually. The clanging of metal, groans, yelling, and stomping. This hallway was also split into two. 

Me being Stiles, I wanted to find out what all that noise was.

There wasn't a specific hallway that had more noise coming from it, so I chose to go left.

I was led to a large door, and I heard more noise coming from it. Was this really a smart idea? Should I just leave it? What's the worst that could happen? 

I opened the door, and saw many people. They were all doing something. Some working out, some fighting each other. 

I walked further inside, but nobody noticed me. They were all either too busy doing whatever it was they were doing, or they just didn't care. 

The room was large, filled with lots of equipment and several areas where people were fighting. This explained all of the noise. 

Then I saw him. Collin. He had his arms crossed and was walking around, watching everyone with sharp eyes.

I contemplated going over there. Would he get upset at me for leaving the room? How could he, he didn't leave a note or anything. Then again, maybe he just assumed I would stay.

I was disrupted from my thoughts when I heard someone yell at me. "Hey green bean! Get on in here, you could use the work." I traced the voice back to a man. Jasper. A few other people laughed, and he turned back and smiled at them. 

I looked at him, and he just smiled. "Well, come on." He said. I walked further in the room, and then everyone noticed me. 

"Lay off Jasper. He could probably kick your ass if he wasn't worried he would permanently injure you." A female said. I looked to her, and smiled, which she returned. 

"Shut up Carly. You have nothing to do with this. Everybody knows you're the weakest here, so I wouldn't be spouting out things like that." Jasper said. The girl, Carly, growled.

This Jasper guy was really getting on my nerves. Sure I was weak, but he didn't have to say all of this shit to me, or Carly. 

"Put a sock in it piggy. Nobody wants to hear your annoying ass voice." I snapped.

"Excuse me? You can talk all you want, but unless you are ready to bring it to the mats I suggest you shut your goddamn mouth."

I let out a load roar. Everybody got quiet and stared at me, then started whispering. 

I didn't know I could do that, I never had. I wasn't human, not anymore. I was a werewolf, and I wanted to rip this guy apart, but I couldn't do that. If I showed my anger, if I showed how I felt, I would lose. 

"Is that a challenge?" Jasper hissed.

Challenge? What does he mean by challenge? A fight? 

Sure I wanted to fight this guy, I wanted to hurt him, but I knew I wouldn't, I would get killed. 

"Come on." He stepped closer. "There is a mat behind you. Why don't you prove you belong in this pack?"

"I don't have to prove anything to you." I growled.

"Of course you do. Not just to me, but to everyone. Nobody believes you belong here, apart from Collin."

'Speaking of Collin, where is he?' I thought. I looked around, but didn't see him. Great. Now no one could stop me from being ripped apart. 

Jasper got closer, and I didn't move until he shoved me back. "Come on." Let's go."

The minute he put his hands on me, something snapped. I felt something sharp break through my gums, and my eyes started to burn as they shifted color. Claws grew over my fingernails, and I roared. 

"Oh. Feisty are we? Why don't you put all that anger to use?" Jasper said. He kept walking towards me, and I backed up. I then felt something soft behind me, and knew that we had reached the mat. 

My heart thuttered in my chest, and I felt my fangs and claws disappear. 

"Scared are we? Need little Collin to come to your rescue again?" 

I stepped forward and shoved Jasper. "I don't need anyone!" 

Jasper growled, but did nothing more. "Really? Why we you here then? We didn't ask for you."

"I didn't ask to be here!"

"But you are here! So prove you belong! Fight me!" He pushed me again. "Do it! Fight me." Another push. He was just about to say something else when I let out another roar, feeling myself shift and tackled him to the ground.

I punched him once, hearing the crack off his nose break, but before I could get in another attack he kicked me off of him. 

I scrambled to my feet. My vision was blurred, and I was seeing in red. I could hear the heartbeats of everyone, and my own. I locked my eyes into Jasper, and growled. 

This time he lunged, and I dogged. He recovered quickly though, and punched me.

I went for a punch myself, but he grabbed my fist and twisted it behind my back, spinning me around. 

I used my foot and kicked him in the crotch, making him pause and groan, falling to the ground. I got my fist out of his grasp and kicked him in the face. 

I heard gasps from the wolves watching us. This is what they were right? They wanted me to do this. 

Jasper was on the ground, and I wanted him to stay there. I kicked him again, and saw blood go everywhere.

"That's enough Stiles." I didn't have to look to know who it was. It was Collin. I didn't acknowledge him though, I stayed focused on my target, who wasn't moving. I kicked him in the stomach this time, making him let out a low moan. 

"Enough Stiles!" I heard Collin shout. I knew this was a command from my Alpha, but I couldn't stop. I wanted him dead. I crouched over Japer and wrapped my hands around his throat. I applied pressure, and saw his face turn a dark purple. 

"Who is weak now?"I growled.

I heard a roar from the crowd, and this time I turned towards it. Collin's eyes were red, and he was glaring at me. "Stop Stiles. Regain control."

I roared in return, apparently shocking the rest of the betas. 

I stopped choking Jasper, and stood up. I growled deep in my throat, glaring at Collin.

He roared again, ten times louder, with his eyes blazing red. The betas dropped to their knees, and turned their necks, submitting. I, however, stayed on my feet. 

"Submit to him, Stiles." A man in the crowd shouted. I ignored the man, and remained looking at Collin.

I looked back down at Jasper, and saw the state he was in. Normally I would feel terrible, I wouldn't be able to believe that I did this, but now, I enjoyed it. I smiled, and looked back at Collin. I walked towards him, not sure what I was going to do. His eyes were still red, and all of the wolves were still submitting. 

I looked into Collin's eyes, mine still a bright blue, and frowned. He should have been happy. Jasper was making fun off Collin and making fun of me. I did something about it.

Collin took a finger, and ran it underneath my chin. "I know what you were trying to do Stiles. You don't have control, and that's okay. I can help you, but I need you to cooperate."

I didn't want help. Nothing was wrong with me. Then I realized something. He was saying this, because he and the rest of the pack realized I was strong. I'm not weak. They weren't expecting this, and now that they realize I wasn't some weak piece of shit, they didn't want me to be strong. 

I growled again and stepped away from Collin. I walked off, away from it all, slamming the door on my way out. 

Collin turned to the pack. "Julie and Max, take Jasper to the infirmary. Everyone is to return to their rooms and not come out until I have gave instruction to do so." 

Collin walked out of the room, searching for me. 

When I came out of the room, I started running. I wanted out. I felt trapped and I wanted out of here. 

I ran back to the chow hall, the only place where I remembered there was a door leading outside. I sprinted out of the mansion, into the rain. 

It was pouring outside, almost to the point where you could hardly see. I did see the woods though, and I ran there. 

I was still shifted, and that's how I heard someone chasing me. Collin, of course. 

I stopped running when I reached a little river. I sat there, hugging my knees to my chest, and waited for Collin. 

Was he disappointed in me? Was it bad to hurt Jasper like that? Of course it was. I practically killed him. 

"I'm sorry." I said, almost shouting against the loud rain. 

He walked in front of me, and crouched like I was. "Stiles. . ." 

"Don't. I'm sorry. I don't belong here Collin." I said looking at my feet. 

"Yes you do Stiles."

"I don't!" I yelled, looking at him. "Everyone knows it! Jasper, the rest of the pack! I almost killed him, Collin."

"You don't have control yet, it's okay." 

"No it's not. I did that when I just got a little mad. . . what's going to happen on the full moon? I can't belong here. Not after that. Everyone hates me already, now that I hurt Jasper, a part of their pack, they're never going to accept me."

"Stiles today was your first day, and I shouldn't have left you alone like that. I knew something could happen to you, and would eventually, I just wanted to see how you would act. . . I'm sorry. I should be the one apologizing."

I snapped my eyes up. "Please don't. Don't feel. . . Like this is your fault. I don't know what's wrong with me. . . I just snapped."

Collin sighed. "It's not your fault. It's happened to all of us-"

"I don't care! I have gotten these feelings, ever since I have come here. Like, like. . ."

Collin pulled me forward into a hug. "It's okay." He said, running his warm hand through my hair. He ran his hand down my back, up and down. I closed my eyes for a second, then snapped them open, pushing him away. Before I knew it I was on my feet. 

I turned towards a tree, and rested my forehead on it. "I'm sorry, I just. . ."

I felt him walk up behind me, felt his warm breath on the back of my neck. "What Stiles?" He whispered in my ear. He ran a couple fingers down my spine, and I held in a moan. 

I felt my eyes shift blue, and I grabbed Collin, shoving him against the tree. I looked into his eyes and smiled. I ran my finger across the outlines of his forehead, then the bridge of his nose, then his lips. They were soft, and I felt his warm breath when he parted them. 

"Maybe we should get back." I said. "Your pack might get worried." 

Collin nodded. 

We walked back to the mansion, rain still pouring down on us. I glanced at Collin and saw his shirt was plastered to his torso, showing off his chest. 

When we got back to the mansion, Collin led me back to his bedroom. 

"You look freezing. Want a shower?" He asked. I nodded my head. 

He took me to the bathroom, and turned on the shower for me. I grabbed my pants, about to take them off, and I glanced at Collin. 

I saw him look at me, swallow, then look away. "I'll be in the room." He said, then walked off without shutting the door. 

I chuckled. He was totally checking me out. I stripped off the rest of my drenched clothes and hopped into the shower, where hot water greeted me. 

I moaned as the hot water burned my skin. I went straight to washing, enjoying the shower. 

I got out and saw that steam had filled the entire bathroom. I went to the mirror, and wiped my hand on it to clear the fog. I only glanced at myself when I heard Collin clear his throat. He was leaning on the door frame, holding out a towel. I took the towel quickly, and wrapped it around my waist. 

"My turn." He smiled. He took off his shirt and unbuttoned his pants. I realized I should probably go to the room, so I regrettably left. 

I sat on his bed in just a towel, waiting for him to be done. I listened to him in the shower, hearing the water splash on his skin. 

I shook my head. 'Stop that. Don't be a creeper.' I thought. 

I stopped listening, but soon my thoughts went somewhere else. I pictured what Collin would look like naked in the shower. Golden skin, hair dripping-

I shook my head again, and closed my hands into a fist. 

The shower turned off and I heard Collin step out. I heard dripping, and thought it was the shower, until I realized my hands were wet. I looked down at them and quickly opened my hands when I saw blood pouring down. My claws were out and had been ripping open my flesh.

Collin stepped out of the bathroom and saw my bloody hands. "Collin I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

He stepped towards me without saying anything and grabbed my hands. He looked into my eyes, and his gaze never left as he took my hands and licked the blood off. 

"Look. All healed." I looked down at my hand and saw he was right, both hands were healed, and now free of blood. 

"Uh. Thanks." I said. Collin just smiled in return. 

I looked between us and saw that we were both naked, apart from the towel we each had wrapped around out waist. 

"Oh. Collin? Where are my clothes?"

"Getting washed, I suppose. Don't worry, you still have clothes. An entire closet full." He grabbed my hand and led me to a door opposite from the bathroom, which was to the right of his bed.

He opened the door. "See. Pick out what you want to wear." He said, giving me a soft push. 

I walked into the large closet, and grabbed a red shirt and some jeans quickly. 

Collin smiled, and grabbed a navy blue shirt and black jeans for himself. He went to a drawer inside the closest and grabbed two pair of underwear, tossing a pair to me. I quickly changed, not saying a word, and then we went back to the room. 

"Considering the monstrous sounds your stomach has made, and considering you missed breakfast, how about we go get some lunch?" 

The word lunch sounded fantastic, but it also meant eating with all of the pack. 

"The pack will be fine, I assure you." He said. I swallowed and nodded.

We went to the chow hall, where all the pack was waiting. They immediately looked at us when we walked in, and I blushed. Collin took his regular seat at the table, and I sat in mine beside him. 

He looked at all of the betas, and then grabbed a stack of ribs. He took his first bite, nodded once, and said "You may eat." 

We all dove in, and I myself ate like I had never tasted food before. We ate for a while, and I finally stopped eating once I felt like I was going to burst. 

Everyone seemed to have also finished eating, so just like yesterday Collin said that there were no further announcements, and they all started to pick up dishes. I grabbed three plates, and took them to the kitchen. 

"Hey baby!" Rosie said.

"Hey Rosie." 

"How ya been? Collin treating you right?" 

My face heated. "Yes."

"Good." She said, smiling. "Well I got a lot of dishes to clean, see ya soon darlin'." 

"Bye Rosie." I said, walking out of the kitchen. 

When I walked out I saw Collin standing there, waiting. He looked at me and smiled, then frowned. I was confused, until I saw someone from behind me go and talk to him. 

I stopped walking, figuring I shouldn't intrude on their conversation. I waited patiently, focusing on the sounds of the kitchen so I wouldn't listen in on their conversation. I was so focused on that, I didn't here Collin come up behind me. 

"Stiles. Ready?" I yelped, then blushed.

"Sorry to scare you." He said amused. 

"No you're not." I said. "What now?"

"Whatever you want." He said.

"Really?" I questioned, quirking a brow. 

"Within reason of course."

"Of course. Well. . . can you. . . I guess like. . . Train me? To be a better wolf. To learn control, I mean." 

Collin stopped. "Of course. I'd be honored." He said with a bow. 

I laughed. "It will take longer than a day, and the full moon is soon, but of course I will help you. However, lets start tomorrow."

I nodded my head. "Stiles, I'm afraid I need to ask you to do something for me."

"Sure. What is it?"

Colin's expression turned hard. "I almost lost control today as well." He swallowed. "I need you to promise me you will stay away from Jasper. If he hurts you again I swear to god. . ."

"I promise. I don't want to go near him anyways." I said smiling hoping to lighten the mood. It didn't exactly work, but at least he wasn't glaring. 

"Thank you. . . This day has been eventful. How about we just do something remotely normal?"

"Okay, like what?"

"Like a movie." Collin said, opening a door to a huge theater. The walls were a red velvet, as we're the seats, and there was a huge selection of movies and a massive television screen.

"Damn." I said in awe. Collin chuckled and walked towards the movies.

"What are you thinking? Horror, action, romance, comedy, sci-fi? We got all of them."

"I don't care."

"Well neither do I, I probably won't be watching the movie all that much anyways." 

"Oh?" I laughed. "And why is that?"

He looked at me seriously. "Because I will be staring at you the entire time."

I blushed, and hoped he didn't see my reddened cheeks under the dimmed lights. 

"Action it is." I said, grinning. 

He grabbed the first movie under the action category, yes they were categorized, and popped it in. 

We sat close to the screen, and I moved closer to Collin. "You're so warm." I scooted even closer. 

We watched the movie in silence, Collin running his fingers through my hair, and I snuggled up close to him.

I started getting tired, and Collin kissed my head, whispering for me to go to sleep.

I of course did, against his warm chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story and for all of your support on ALL of my stories. Your support is greatly appreciated! Happy Holidays!!


	18. Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you might hate me for this...

When I awoke, I was once again in Collin's massive bed. However, this time he was here with me, eyes closed and breathing softly. 

As strong and mighty as he always looked, right now he only looked like a young man. 

I scooted up and propped my chin on my elbow, getting a better angle of him sleeping. 

I took my hand and traced the outlines of his face, just as I had yesterday. He never seemed to stir, but I knew he was awake when my fingertips were on his lips and they twitched as he grinned. He opened his mouth and bit down on my finger gently, making me giggle. 

"Good morning." I said. His eyes are still closed, but he snuggled closer. "Good morning." 

He opened his eyes and looked up at me. "God you're beautiful." He said. I blushed deeply and looked down. He took his finger and lifted my chin back up to where my eyes were locked with his.

"Don't ever be ashamed of yourself, you have no reason to be." He smiled. "Come on. Rosie has breakfast ready, and after that we are going to train." 

We get out of bed, and I notice I am no longer in my red t-shirt and jeans, but only my underwear. "Um Collin? Where did my clothes go?" 

"Well I figured you would be more comfortable without them, so I took them off for you." He said nonchalantly. I nodded my head, then moved to the closet to grab some clothes. I never really looked in depth at the closet, but mother of god there were a lot of clothes. 

"I wasn't really sure exactly what you preferred to wear, and I wanted you to have options so. . ." 

There were several different types of clothes, ranging from t-shirts to suits. Though I understood that he wanted me to have options, I didn't think all this was necessary, especially considering all of the clothes looked expensive. 

"Thank you." I said, grabbing a t-shirt and some basketball shorts. I wondered if this was appropriate to wear to breakfast, but Collin never said anything, and we are going to be training, after all.

Collin grabbed black jeans, a black shirt, and black combat boots, and started to head out the door once we were dressed. 

When we arrived at the table, I saw my choice in clothing was not a bad idea, as everyone else seemed to be dressed in similar attire. 

We ate breakfast quietly, and when we were done Collin pulled me into the training room. 

"I wanted to bring you here before everyone else came trampling in." He said. "This is the training room, as you know. This is a place that we meet at four times a week, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, but on the week of the full moon we also meet on Monday's. You can also come and workout here, but usually we prefer to train with the pack. There is loads of workout equipment here, and we also have five mats for practice fights, two basketball courts, a pool, rooms for kickboxing and other activities like that, as well as a locker room and showers."

"Wow." I said. This place was awesome, and it was only a fraction of the entire mansion.

"So how do you usually train?" I asked. 

"Well, like I said we train on those days, but on the week of the full moon we train on Monday as well. Some days I instruct specific things to do, based on what is happening, but most of the time people just work on what they need to or what I tell them to work on." 

I nodded my head. "Is that what you were doing yesterday? I saw you walking around before. . ."

Collin smiled. "Yes. I usually walk around and monitor what people are doing, however, today Stiles, is all about you."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes, you Stiles. You said you wanted me to train you, so I plan to do exactly that, but keep in mind it won't be easy. From now on we will not only be training you on how to control the shift, but I will be training you physically and mentally." 

I had to admit, this whole trainer thing was very sexy on him. 

"Alright. Let's get started." I smirked.

"First I need to see exactly where you at. I'm afraid this might be the least fun of training, if you consider training fun." The doors opened and people clambered in, talking and laughing. "Excuse me a moment." He said. 

"Alright! As you all know today is Monday, the start of our training for the full moon. Today we are going to work on strength, so I want stations going on. Half an hour on weights, half an hour on mats, half an hour on kickboxing, and your last half hour on the courts." He smirked. Everyone else was smiling from ear to ear. "And I want scores." He said smiling even larger. 

Everyone went to their spot immediately, but I stayed put. 

"Alright Stiles. First I need to see how far you are physically." He said. Fantastic. I was not the most athletic or strong, even lacrosse hadn't changed that. 

"Let's start with speed, then we will move to strength." He lead me to one of the unoccupied basketball courts, then out of a door. We came outside, and I saw in the grass that there were lines outlined in spray paint. 

"Start on the end line and run to the other one. Once you get there, double back. That's a full mile. Run as fast as you can, I'll be timing you." Oh joy. I hated running. I always came in last on the lacrosse team, so this should have been highly embarrassing. 

"On you mark. Get set. Go." I took off running, and in just a few seconds I was way past Collin. I seemed to be going faster than I thought I could, but I still thought that Collin would be disappointed with my results. This pushed me harder, and I dug my heals into the ground, pushing off harder and harder. 

I reached the end line, and doubled back. I could see Collin getting closer and closer as I kept sprinting, and I was praying I wouldn't trip and fall on my face. Soon, I came to the end line, and I heard the click of Collin stopping his stopwatch. I was breathing hard, but not wheezing as I usually was.

"Impressive. I am curious to see how your time will be after you train, considering your time was very good and you haven't started."

"What exactly was my time?" I ask.

"One minute and forty-two seconds."

Holy crap! That was the fastest I have ever run! Of course I knew it was because of my new wolfy powers, but that still shocked me. 

He lead me back inside, and we headed to a room full of different kinds of weights and other objects. 

"Now we will test your strength. Lets start with benching." I laid down on the bench press and sucked in a deep breath. 

"I'll start you off remotely easy. 290." He said. He slipped behind me and put on the weight. I gripped the bar, and took another deep breath. 

'Please don't let this fall on me. Please don't let this fall on me.' I thought repeatedly. 

I lifted the bar with a big push, and brought it back down to my chest. It wasn't easy, but it didn't seem too challenging. I got only one more push up before Collin took the bar away from me and sat it back on it's stand. 

"Did I do okay?" I asked nervously. 

"Yes. Phenomenal, actually. I'm going to add more weight. 320." He slipped more weight on, then stepped back. I could feel his presence lingering behind me, but I shook the nervous jitters, and lifted the bar again. 

Once again I was only able to do a few reps before Collin was adding more weight. 

"395." He said. He almost seemed frustrated. I got even more nervous. 395 was a drastic change from 320, which had me breathing good. 

I swallowed, and lifted the bar again, with much more difficulty. I puffed out my cheeks when bringing it back down, but was able to push up once again.

Collin took the barbell away from me, and walked around to the front. 

"God you're a beast. How much did you lift at school?" I blushed, not very much, I knew that. 

"Usually around 175. Not that much compared to this."

"Yeah, no kidding. You're extremely strong. Lets move onto barbell curls, though I have no doubt you will do fine in that region too." He said with a chuckle.

I get up and make my way to the other barbell, and pick it up.

"How much do you usually bench Collin?" I ask out of pure curiosity. Okay, maybe I wanted to compare my weight to his. 

"415." He said with a smirk. He knew I was comparing mine to his. 

I grabbed the barbell, and once again did good evidentially, baffling Collin.

"Alright. Chin ups. I'm going to combine speed and strength. Try to get as many chin ups as you can in one minute. Ready?" I nodded. "Go." He started the stopwatch, and I started my chin ups. 

"Stop." He said, and I dropped down to the floor. 

"Damn. 72 in one minute. That's ridiculous." He said, running a hand through his hair. 

"And how many do you usually get?" I asked smiling sweetly. 

"My best is 84." He laughed. 

The door bursted open, and several people came walking in. As soon as they saw us, they stopped talking. 

"Sorry Alpha. We'll leave." A man said. I didn't think I was ever going to learn all of their names. 

"It's perfectly fine. Our thirty minutes has been used up, it's your turn." We walked out back into the main room, where the mats were. 

"How are you feeling?" Collin asked.

"I'm fine." I said. Why would I be feeling anything but fine?

"I wanted to make sure you're up for continuing training, if you're sore or something we can stop." 

"No. I'm fine. Lets continue."

He nodded his head. "I'm not going to make you do this if you don't want to, but like I said this is going to be your least favorite day of training. . . I need to see your fighting skills. The way you move, your attitude towards fighting."

I nodded my head. "That means I need you to fight someone on the mats Stiles." Then it registered.

"But. . . I can't. Not after what happened. I could lose control." 

"I know. But before you were furious, you're okay now. I will be on the side lines monitoring everything. If you feel like something might happen, anything, or if you're uncomfortable, just step out of the mat. That initiates the end of the fight. You can do this."

I took a deep breath. Could I really? I was so mad at myself for losing control last time, I wasn't sure if I could do that again. I wanted to hurt Jasper, but. . . I didn't want to hurt anyone else, and I didn't want to hurt Jasper as bad as I did, I just wanted to punch him. 

"It'll be fine. I promise." Collin said. 

"Okay. I'll do it." I said, sucking in a deep breath. 

"Then I'll be right back." He walked into a room, and closed the door.

I sat down on the edge of the mat and waited for him to return. When he did, I became even less excited. The entire pack was following Collin, and they soon filled in around that mat I was seated at.

"Collin? What the hell? I didn't ask for a show!" I hiss, standing up quickly. 

"I know, I know. We have certain rules and procedures when we fight. One of them is having the entire pack here." Collin shrugged. "Listen carefully okay? The person I chose for you today is Sam. He's strong, fast, and experienced, but I needed to see how far you were willing to push yourself, and how hard you fight." I nodded, though on the inside I was screaming. He nodded once in return, then lead me to where Sam was standing in the mat, barefoot, like I was. 

"Alright boys, the rules. All attacks are legal. Transformations are legal. If you step outside the mat while in the fight, it will be considered an accident, but you have to step back in. If you step out of the mat and stay several feet away, this is considered a forfeit. No excess injuries while the opposing side is down. You may only attack while standing, or while the opponent is still trying to fight you on the ground. No sloppy moves, I want to see what you've got. Everyone good?" Collin looked at Sam, who nodded, and I do the same.

Collin stepped out of the mat, and the pack stepped back a foot. 

"Ready?" Collin asked. Sam squatted down a little and brought his fists up, ready to swing. 

"Begin." Collins said. The moment he does, Sam swung his fist, which was easily expected, or not. Turns out his fist was only a distraction, and once I dodged his swing, he kneed me in the stomach. 

I doubled over a little, and he took the opportunity to grab my head and throw me on the ground. I remembered Collin's rule, you're not allowed to attack when the enemy is down, I just hoped Same would obey them. I moved just slightly, making it seem as if I was only readjusting, but them I swung my foot out and tripped Sam, bringing him down on his ass. I crawled on top of him and I slammed my fist into his face, but he quickly reacted and flipped us over, pinning me down. 

I looked into his eyes and looked afraid, and his eyes soften slightly. Then I took my knee and jammed it into his crotch. He clinched, and I flipped him over once again. I stood up quickly, knowing I couldn't fight because he was down and not fighting back. 

I waited for him to recover, which took only seconds, and then I punched him square in the jaw. His face turned, and he stumbles backwards. When he looked back at me, he was transformed. His eyes glowed a bright blue, and his teeth were barred. 

He lunged, swinging out his hand and striking me with his claws, making blood run down my face. I let out a growl, and dodged his next swing, I then delivered my own. I grabbed his head for support and slammed my knee into his stomach. 

I heard a series of ow's and ooh's in the crowd, meaning the blow was not only effective toward Sam, but towards the others. 

He got visibly mad, and I was no match for him when he dugs his claws into my sides, making me hiss, and lifted me up only to slam me back onto the ground. 

I tried to suck in a breath when it got knocked out of me, and rolled onto my side. Taking a few seconds to recover, I felt my face contort. That hurt. I rolled back onto my back and jumped up, roaring. I was now fully transformed, but I was still in control. 

"That really hurt you asshole." I growled out. I ran towards him fast, before he even had time to think, and I slammed him to the ground. He tried to push me off of him, so I punched him hard, and his head snapped back and hit the mat. He clumsily swung his leg out, trying to kick me like I did to him earlier, but I had him pinned down. Once again I punched him hard in the face, which was now swollen and covered in blood. 

With the last ounce of his strength, he pushed me off of him and crawled off of the mat, forfeiting and ending the fight. 

I stood up and look towards Collin, still transformed. He came onto the mat and pulled me off. I was afraid he was upset. He lead me into a room away from all of the people. 

"Great job. That was very. . ." He trailed off. "Stiles? Can you shift back?" 

I never noticed I was still transformed. I start to panic when I realize I can't shift back. 

"It's okay. Just look at me. Think of someone, something, that will keep you grounded. Find an anchor."

"I-I don't know!" I yelled.

"Your family. Think of your family. Your pack, me. anything."

My family? All I had left was my bastard father. My pack? My old one was full of selfish fuckers. And this one? I only just met them, they couldn't help me. Then I thought of Collin. His face, his voice. I thought of him holding me, telling me it's okay, and. . . It still didn't work. 

I clenched my hands together, my nails digging into my skin, making them bleed. 

I tried to think of anything. Pictures run through my head, places I've been, things I've heard, people I've seen. Nothing was working, but then I saw him. A man. I saw his face, glaring at me, and everything stopped. My face transformed back, and my claws were now nails again. The only thing left was my blue eyes, which always seemed to last a little bit longer after a change.

"There. See? You did it. It's okay." Collin whispered, as he rubbed my back. 

Why? Why did he help me? How could he help me, after everything he had done?

"What is it Stiles?" Collin asked, feeling my discomfort.

"What's your anchor?" He asked, head cocked slightly.

I couldn't tell him. He would be furious. He would want to kill him, though I wanted to do that myself. I wanted to feel his warm blood on my hands, I wanted to taste it. I wanted to feel my claws rip his skin and pull out his heart. But yet, he kept me grounded.

"It's okay. Your anchor is something personal, you don't have to tell me. Lets get you in the shower."

He pulled me up, but my knees collapsed. I shouldn't have felt so weak. I was hurt, but not badly, I should have healed soon. But the last ten minutes or so weighed down on me. 

Without a second though, Collin lifted me up. Though I was sweating and hot, I felt cold inside. I snuggled closer to Collin, resting my head on his arm.

He carried me back to his room, then his bathroom. He turned on the shower, and then set me down on the counter. He slowly peeled my bloodied and sweaty shirt off, then threw it on the floor. I looked at him, but he was focused on my torso.

"His claws went deep." He mumbled. He traced his fingers over the wounds, and I hissed. 

He sighed, but moved onto taking off my pants. The only thing that was left was my boxers, but I knew I could take those off myself. Truthfully, I could have taken all of my clothes off, but I just feel so drained. I had slept a lot recently, but it didn't seem to help. 

I hopped off the counter, and quickly grabbed a wall to steady me. A wash of dizziness came over me, making the room spin. 

Collin looked at me, making sure I was okay for the moment, then peeled off my boxers. I was embarrassed, but he didn't seemed fazed at all. 

I rested my back on the wall, leaning on it, as he undressed. I didn't have anywhere else to look, so I watched him. He didn't seem to mind. 

Once we were both naked, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the shower. 

The hot water flooded over me, and seeped into my wounds, making me hiss and groan. 

"You're not healing as fast as I thought you would. . ." Collin said. Without saying anything more, he leaned down and sat on his knees. He gazed up at me, and I swallowed at how close he was to my cock. 

He ran his hand over the wounds, and I resist showing my pain. He leaned closer to one of the wounds, and stuck his tongue out. He slowly dragged his tongue up one of the wounds, and I moaned. I snapped my head back onto the tile shower wall, and closed my eyes. 

He trailed his thumb over the once deep cut, and I felt it was now fresh skin. The wound was gone. 

He moved over to the other deep gash on my side, and started the process over again, licking up my side. This time, he didn't stop. He kept kissing and licking all the way up my chest. He stopped at one of my nipples, and sucked on it, making me groan once again. 

"God you taste so good." He mumbled. He kissed all the way up to my neck, and then bit my ear lobe, tugging on it playfully. 

I turned my face and looked at him, to where are faces were only inches apart. I looked at his soft pink lips, and came up with a thought better then running my fingers over them. I wanted to run my tongue over them. I wanted to kiss him. Before I could think about it too long, I smashed my lips against his, and he didn't resist at all. Our lips moved together, and I moaned as his tongue swept across my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I opened my mouth, and he slipped his tongue in. Our tongues seemed to battle, pressing against each other, and this time, Collin moaned. 

I ran my hand through his hair and gripped onto it. I broke off the kiss, needing to breathe, but I still moved on to kissing his neck. He threw his head back, moaning and also giving me more leverage. 

I was thinking of nothing but the way Collin tasted and felt, but an image popped into my head. It's him, the man. I know exactly who he is, but I didn't want to even think his name. 

"Stiles?" Collin said. I pulled my head back and looked into his eyes. Though I had a hard on, I didn't want to continue. 

"I'm sorry." I said. 

"No it's fine. You're overwhelmed, it's to be expected after having a day like this." He said smiling. 

He grabbed a bar of soap, and started to wash me, before he washed himself. Once we were clean, we stepped out and dried ourselves off. 

God I hated him. I was having a great time, and he had to stop it. He wasn't even physically here and yet his face in my mind could ruin everything. 

Collin disappeared to grab some clothes, and I became seething with anger. I wanted to kill him. He ruined my life. No, I didn't want, I needed to. I was going to kill him. How could he be my anchor when he made me so mad? At this point I could say his name, but I spat it out as if it was poison. 

"Derek Hale."


	19. Tattoo

I wanted him, so bad. I wanted him in a completely different way then the way I wanted Collin. I wanted to feel his slick warm blood on my hands, taste it. I wanted to bite him, taste his flesh. I wanted to feel my hand plunge into his chest and rip out his beating heart. I wanted to end him, and I planned to.

"Stiles? Everything okay?" Collin asked. I didn't see him walk back into the room. I knew he could probably sense my anger, so I extinguished it quickly.

"Yes. Just hungry." I said, making up an excuse.

"There is still about two hours or so before lunch, anything you want to do?" 

I thought about telling him everything,  
but I didn't know how I would do it. 

"Is training still going on?" I asked.

"Yes. Training ends a half hour before lunch. Would you like to observe?" 

I nodded my head. Though I of course no longer wanted to work out or anything like that, especially now that I had showered, I did want to see exactly what goes on when I was not working out.

Unlike when I came in the training room alone the first time, heads turned to us when we walked in.

Some mumbled, "Alpha," with a nod of a head, some glanced and continued doing what they were. Collin said nothing.

I followed him as he walked around observing, much like I saw him doing the first time I was in there.

I saw that everyone was dressed in very little clothing; the girls in shorts, spandex, a tank top, or a sports bra. The guys were similar. Some were shirtless, some were wearing tank tops. 

Someone however, caught my eye immediately. Jasper. He glared daggers at me, not even caring that Collin was right beside me. I glared right back. 

"Jasper! You think you're going to get stronger that way? Maybe if you actually worked out you'd be faster! Back to work!" Collin said. Some people laughed and snickered, Jasper just glared again, then got back to work.

"I still don't understand why he hates me." I said.

"Truthfully he has reason to be mad, but not at you. You took his spot."

"His spot? Wait like at the dinner table?" I asked. I didn't think a spot at the table was so serious.

Collin laughed. "No. Well, yes, you did, but you took his spot in the pack. You see, he is upset because he has had this spot for a very long time, and without even working, you took his spot."

"What spot?" I asked, lost. 

"Your spot is your rank in the pack. The closer to the Alpha you are, the higher you're ranked. Each person in the higher ranks is there for a reason. Some for being great fighters, some for being strong, some fast, etc." 

"So what spot did I take?"

Collin paused. "Jasper was sort of one of my main guys. I have five. One for fighting, one for direction and leadership, one for medical and first aid, one for full moons, one for tasks, and one more for overall, which possesses all of those qualities. You took the overall spot, Jasper's spot, however Jasper was never truly there yet, he was just the closest I could get to getting all five skills and jobs." 

"But why did you pick me? I mean I just came here and I've already fucked up several times. I don't see how I could be your main man or whatever." 

"You haven't lived up to your full potential, because you haven't learned yet. But I know you will, and when you do, you will be excellent. You still have not understood how amazing you truly are. And besides, I would rather have you as my main man than anyone else, you're better, and you know why." Collin said, shooting a white tooth smile. 

A large bell that sounded more like a car horn went off, and everyone stopped what they are doing, huddling up in the middle. 

"This was the second practice of the week, and you did well from what I have seen. I still need more execution on the mats, you are still going for the win, and not focusing on what needs to be fixed. I have decided to change something up just to see if it helps. Some may like this, some may not, but we are going to do it just for this week, and at the end I will decide if we shall continue." Collin paused. 

"So, to make sure we execute better, instead of the normal fights or stations during training, we are going to have practice off of the mats during training, and the last hour will all be fights. This means, an extra hour will be added to training." Nobody dared groan. "Any questions? Good. Full moon is this Saturday, be prepared."

I could feel my stomach drop. This Saturday? I wasn't ready for this! It was already Tuesday and I was not ready in any shape or form.

"Dismissed." Collin said. Everyone ran to the locker room, but I stayed.

"Collin I can't. I'm not ready for the full moon." I said panicked.

"Woah, woah, woah. It'll be fine, I promise. We'll see how you are Friday, and that'll determine if you need chains or not."

Chains? Just like. . . I got an image of a boy, maybe 15 or 16 years old, wrapped up in chains, while Scott was off to the side watching him. Liam, that was his name. 

"Are you sure that they will hold?"

"I'm positive. They are sturdy, but we have other alternatives just in case. Bigger, thicker chains, ropes dipped in wolfsbane, and we have different ways we can wrap you up."

I thought that wolfsbane chains was a little aggressive, but I didn't say anything. 

"Lunch will be ready in an hour. Anything you would like to do?"

Something popped into my head quickly, something I had wanted to do for a long time, even before I was a werewolf. I had never been crazy enough to do it, but now was just as good a time as any, and I wanted to do this, maybe it would change the way others viewed me. Others saw me as a puny little kid, soft inside and out. Clearly I had not been able to prove I was strong yet, maybe this would change their viewpoint on me. I didn't want them to look at me and think I was strong, I wanted them to look at me and see I was not weak, and that I could do what I wanted. I was a part of this pack, and I would earn my spot. As of now though, I decided to get a tattoo.

"I want a tattoo." I stated plainly. 

Collin furrowed his eyebrows, then raised one and grinned. "Oh really?" 

"Yes. Really. I've wanted one for a while now. You have tattoos." 

Collin nodded, still looking at me curiously. "True. What exactly are you wanting?"

Before I could say what I had been wanting, an image popped in my head. It was curly, with three spirals on it, and it seemed to have been on someone's back. I wondered what it was. I shook off the image.

"Birds. I know it sounds stupid, but just four little birds on my side."

"Why?"

I got uncomfortable. It was all so strange. I remembered everything vividly, my whole life, except for Collin's pack before my memories got erased, and I only remembered a few memories from my old pack, bad ones mostly, but I knew this was something I could never forget, the death of my mother.

". . . When I was in the hospital with my mom, she said that she wished I could just fly away. To get away from all of this sickness and be a kid again. She said I was her little bird, tiny, and fragile, but fast and beautiful. . . I told her I wanted her to fly away with me." I swallowed and took in a deep breath. "She flew away, but I couldn't come with her. I guess it's for her."

Collin stayed quiet, understanding. 

"Alright. Let's go then, if you're sure you want to do this." 

"I'm sure." 

Collin took me out of the training room, and we started walking down an unfamiliar hallway. It became dark and I could hear loud music. When Collin opened a door, I immediately heard loud rock music and saw neon signs lighting up the dark room.

"What're you in for this time Collin?" 

"Actually it's not me that's getting one. Stiles is."

"Stiles! I've heard about you." A large man with a beard walked out from behind a counter. He stuck out his hand, and I shook it firmly. 

"What're you getting son?"

"Four birds, on my side."

"Alright, well I'll take you to V, she'll do good. You do know that werewolves can't get regular tattoos right?"

"Yes. I'm not exactly looking forward to being burned with a blowtorch, but eh." I said, shrugging my shoulders. The man chuckled.

He lead us to a reclined chair, where a women was sitting in the corner.

"What do you want?" She asked flatly. I stayed silent. Why was she asking this? I want a tattoo, duh.

"Kid, I don't have all day, what do you want and where?" The women asked. She has black hair and sleeves of tattoos on her arms. 

"Four birds, small, on my side." I paused to take of my shirt. "Right here." I said, pointing to where I wanted the tattoo. 

She didn't say anything but took out a sharpie. She walked towards me, and I quickly laid down. She was pushy. 

"Stay still, or your tattoo will look like shit."

Staying still was hard for me, but I tried my best. 

She drew the birds on my skin, exactly how I wanted them, though I didn't even have to tell her how I wanted them to look. It was almost impossible, they were exactly how I pictured them. 

"I can read your mind, sort of. I can see the images that you think of, so I know what tattoo you want." She said blankly. 

"Oh." I didn't think Collin had members of his pack that were not werewolves.

She put the sharpie up, and grabbed a tattoo gun. She gave me a tattoo that a human would have, but I knew this would be a longer process. Once she was done, she took out a tiny tool. I didn't know what it was, until a flame shot up from the end.

"Ready?" She asked. I looked at Collin, and then nodded my head.

She walked towards me with the torch, and I braced myself, but she didn't touch me. She grabbed the leather cuffs on the chair that I apparently didn't see, and strapped me in. 

"Stay still." Without a second thought, she started to tattoo me. It hurt like nothing I had ever felt before. A unique pain. A searing sharp pain in my side. I felt my eyes turn blue, but she had only just finished the first bird. 

Collin came behind me, and placed his hand on my shoulders, giving me comfort. I wanted to scream out in pain, but I knew that wouldn't help. 

"Almost done." The girl, Vee, murmured.

She finished the last wing on my fourth bird, and stepped back. 

I breathed heavily, but my eyes and fangs changed back to normal. 

Collin removed the cuffs, and pulled me up. 

"Good job." He smiled. He slowly looked at the birds and smiled wider. 

The tattoo was perfect, just how I wanted it. 

"Beautiful." Collin said. His hands lingered over the birds, wanting to touch, but knowing it would be tender to the touch. He then handed me my shirt, which I carefully put on.

"Thank you, Veronica." Collin said. 

"It's V, how many times do I have to tell you Collin?" 

I looked at Collin, figuring he would snap at her, but he only smiled, which she returned. 

We walked out of the tattoo parlor, and I raised an eyebrow at Collin. 

"She's my cousin, I've know her for a very long time." Collin said. That explained why he was so nice. 

"Lunch is ready." I said. I could smell the food from where I was at. 

We walked into the chow hall, and took our seats. Most people had arrived, but Rosie and a few others were still carrying out plates. Everything was normal. Which was. . . Great. For the first time in a while I didn't feel out of place. This felt like it should happen. Everything was normal, until it wasn't. 

I got the same image again, of the man, Derek Hale. Why was this happening? I didn't want this to happen. I hated him, he had done so much to me. And why did it have to be him? Maybe Scott would hurt less, since he used to like me, then again, maybe that just makes it hurt more. I had escaped from him, and yet it was like he was still here. I could no longer hide my anger. My eyes turned blue, and a growl rumbled in my chest. 

"Stiles." Collin said. I breathed heavily, practically panting. 

"Stiles." He said again, in his Alpha tone. I could feel the gaze of many others, and they had all fell silent. 

"I need to get out of here." I managed to growl out. Collin jumped from the table, and grabbed my arm, pulling me. He took me down a hallway, and then into the first room he saw. 

I run in and slammed against the wall, breathing heavily. I roared, and punched the wall, which was brick, so I broke my fist. It hurts, bad, but it soon healed.

"Stiles, what is it? Tell me." Collin said. I didn't answer. He pulled me off of the wall, and looked me in the eyes.

"Tell me what's happening. The full moon isn't for another four days, and it's only noon anyways. What is it?"

I didn't want to tell him, what if he got mad at me? But then again, what if he got mad at him? What if he would help me? I wanted to kill him, but I knew I would need help.

"Derek Hale." I growled out. "I'm going to kill Derek Hale."


	20. Snooping

Collin stood there, in shock. "What do you mean?"

"Well what the fuck do you think I mean Collin? I want to kill him! I want to feel his heart being ripped out of his chest." I snapped. To my surprise, he didn't snap back.

"Why? I mean I know what they did to you but why now?" He asked. Uh-oh. The moment of truth. I had to tell him now. I slowed my breathing and slid down the brick wall until I could sit. 

He came closer and sat next to me. 

"He. . . I don't know it's weird. Sometimes I just see his face. Or I hear something that sounds like him. And he. . ." I paused. I didn't want to tell him about Derek being my anchor. "I don't know it's just weird." 

"Stiles this isn't exactly out of the ordinary. Once someone's taken your memories, little things may peak through. This doesn't exactly explain why you are so furious at him." I wished Collin would stop prodding. 

"Because of what he did! Because of what the whole damn pack did! He never cared, not about me or how I felt. I think he deserves to know how it felt for me to stay in there being tortured everyday. I mean, he's not even physically present and yet he still gets to control me?" I yelled. 

"And you think killing him will solve this?"

"It's the only thing that will make me feel better." I muttered. Shocking me again, Collin smiled from ear to ear. I thought I see him mouth 'excellent,' but I wasn't sure.

"I'm not going to strip you of your rights. You feel a certain way, and I can't change that. If you feel that this is right and is the only way you can get past this. . . Then let's do it. You and me, and some of the pack. In fact, let's kill all of them." He smirked.

This was perfect. I was overtaken by a glorious overwhelming feeling of happiness. 

I leaped forward and kissed Collin, and shoved him to the ground to where I was straddling him, taking him and me by surprise. I never thought I would do that. After a few moments he kissed me back, and slowly traced his tongue over the bottom of my lip, making me open up to let him inside. I moaned in pleasure, and he caressed my backside.

"Taste so fucking good." He muttered, before going back to kiss me. I saw him again, Derek, and I heard him telling me stop, but it only made me push harder. I growled into Collin's mouth and kissed him even more heavily. I moved my mouth down his jaw, then to his ear, nipping it playfully. Then I started licking and sucking on his neck. All of a sudden I wanted to bite him there, hard. 

"Do it. I want you to." Collin said. Before he could change his mind, I bit down on his neck hard, making him yell, before it turned into a growl. He flipped me over, smacking me on my back hard, and bit my neck. I yell out in pain and pleasure, and I could feel the blood running down my neck. He let go of my neck and licked up the blood, then came back up to kiss me. I could taste the copper taste of his and my blood, and it was glorious. 

He pulled back and smiled at me. 

"What the hell was that?" I asked, breathing heavily. 

"That was the mating bite. It shows everyone that I am yours, and you are mine. A sort of label, saying 'Collin's property.' And vice versa." 

Mating bite? Did that mean. . . I didn't think about it too hard. 

"God you look fucking sexy. The bite, your red lips swollen." He growled. 

He was just about to kiss me again when I flip him over. He smiled up at me. I leaned down and torturously ran my lips over his just barely, only letting them softly graze. 

"You're such a tease. One day I'm gonna fuck you in that pretty little ass of yours until you can't stand." That statement alone almost made me cream my pants. I groaned. 

"Unfortunately, I still have work to do." He frowned. Who was the tease now? 

I sighed and climbed off of him. "Just when it was getting interesting." I mumbled. 

Collin smiled and pecked my lips. "I'll see you in a few hours. Think you can handle me not being there?" He asked. I scoffed.

"I'm not a child, just a newly turned werewolf. I'll be fine." I smiled. He pecked my lips again and walked out of the room, leaving me to try and figure out what I was going to so for several hours. I started with one of my favorite activities, snooping.

I walked out of the room and headed towards Collin's. I saw that lunch was over and no one was to be seen, so I assumed that they were all doing whatever it was that they normally did. 

I walked down the hallway that I miraculously seemed to have memorized, and walked into the last bedroom in the hallway, Collin's bedroom. Was it appropriate to call it mine? This was where I slept, and Collin said I would stay here, but I wasn't exactly sure if I was comfortable calling it mine yet. 

I walked in the room and saw nothing had changed, but I didn't expect it to. I walked into the closet first, planning to get an in depth view of everything first.

The closet was huge, and was organized, but still packed with clothes. There were rows of clothes to my left and right, as well as shelves full of shoes, jewelry, and other things like that. 

There were also several drawers, and I opened one to find many ties. I opened another and found underwear. I smirked, and pick up a pair. Black boxer briefs, I had seen these bad boys before. 

I put the underwear back and walked out of the closet, nothing super interesting in there. I knew the bathroom will hold the same fate, so I went and opened up one of the bedside tables, only to see it was completely empty. 

I huff. This guy wasn't very interesting. Then again, I hadn't even gone into the other rooms, maybe they were a little more fun. 

I walked out of the bedroom and was about to open another one when I stopped. Should I even go in there? This wasn't my stuff, then again, Collin had already said what's mine was his. I turned the knob and walked in. I couldn't see anything, it was too dark. I found the light switch and flipped on the lights, momentarily blinding myself. When my eyes adjusted, I smiled. A single large black piano was in the middle of the room. To my right, there was a row of guitars, though only electric and base guitars, no acoustic. 

I never knew Collin had a musical side to him. There was a lot of things I didn't know about him. 

I walked out of the room, shutting off the lights and then the door, and turned around to the other room that was previously to my back. 

I opened that door, and my jaw dropped. There was a large blue, glistening pool. He had a fucking pool. Not fair. 

Along with that, there was a few chairs, a hot tub, and hey why not, a diving board. Rich kid.

I went up another door, and this one seemed more practical. In the room there was a large sofa, a fireplace, a coffee table, and a ginormous TV. 

I sighed. He had everything he wanted. But yet he still had more. I walked out of the room and went into the one that was towards my back. 

Inside was a theater. It was similar to the one that Collin and I were in, except this one was smaller. 

There was one more door before it cut to another hallway, the creepy dark one. I was about to open this last door when I heard something. Collin's voice. 

"Look I honestly don't give two shits how you get it done, I just need it done. . . Good. . . Alright see you then." He muttered. 

Should I go inside? He said he had work to do, I shouldn't bug him. . . I decided I should leave him alone. 

I looked down the hallway and took in a deep breath. I didn't feel like I was trespassing before, but I definitely did now. 

I walked down the hallway, and with each step it became quieter and darker. It became cold, and I wondered if I should have come down here. Guess it was too late now. 

My human eyes were sharp, but not good enough, so I took a breath and shifted into my blue ones, making me see ten times better. I saw that this was also a long hallway, but the doors were not wooden, they were metal, with bars over them. 

I saw the door at the very end of the hallway, and it intrigued me. This one had no medal, it was just a simple white door. 

I reached for the handle and gave it a twist, but nothing happened. I frowned and shook the door knob. It was locked. I could probably break the knob, but then Collin would know. I turned around and tried to open one of the medal doors, but they were locked too, though the bars were not fastened. 

I frowned. At least a monster hadn't popped out yet. I realized that for a strong werewolf, I was a real baby. 

I walked back down the hallway, and had to blink a couple of times to get used to my human eyes and to the bright lighting. 

After that I didn't really know what to do. Collin was still busy, as he said he would be. After some contemplation, I decide that now would be as good as time as any to go and work out. 

I grabbed clothes to change into once I was done working out, then headed to the gym, and was pleasantly surprised to see no one was there. I didn't know where to start, so I headed towards the room Collin tested me in. I briefly stretched before heading straight into pull ups. I'd never really fully worked out, let alone had a routine, so whatever popped into my head is what I did. 

I started with a hundred pull ups, then drop to immediately do a hundred push ups. I decided that a hundred was a good number, so I continued to do a hundred of everything. 

Once I was done with the high intensity stuff, I moved to lifting weights. I did that for about half an hour, then decided to hit the shower. 

I walked into the locker room, and saw how huge it truly was. The red lockers themselves were large, and all were imprinted with names. I looked at each one and then found Collin's. Of course his was slightly larger than the rest, and was in the middle of the back wall. I looked at the one beside it, and saw it had my name engraved. 

I opened it up, and found things already in it. A water bottle, headphones, a lock, a pair of shorts, sweatpants, and a shirt, along with a note. 

'Proud of your assessment. I'm ready to see how powerful and strong you will become. Keep working, you'll be dominating the mats.

-Collin.

P.S. You're combo is 04-05-06. Nice and easy. Mine's 01-02-03.' 

I wondered why he told me his combination. Was it for the pure fact that it was funny that his was one, two, three, and mine was four, five, six, or did he want me to have his combination for a reason? 

Out of curiosity, I tried his combination to see if it worked. It did. Inside, he had a shirt, a jacket, shorts, shoes, deodorant, a towel, a water bottle, a whistle, and a stop watch. 

I shut his locker, locked it, and then did the same to mine before taking a shower. 

Once finished, I changed into the clothes I brought, and headed towards Collin's hallway. 

I was once again standing outside of Collin's office, debating if I should go in. I knew I shouldn't, but honestly, I was bored. 

I slowly twisted the door knob, and saw he was in a leather chair, typing on a computer. 

"Hey." He said, smiling.

"Hey. Sorry I know I probably shouldn't have come in. . ." 

"You're fine. I'm bored anyways." He said. 

"Good. Me too." He stood up and walked towards me. 

"Your hair is wet." He said, running a hand through it. 

"Yeah. I worked out a little and then showered." He nodded his head.

"So what have you been up to?" I asked. 

"I could ask you the same. Your scent is all over the hallways and the rooms." I pale. Oh god. Was he mad?

"Relax, you're not in trouble. Like I said, what's mine is yours, as long as you share nothing with anyone else. Anyways, I've just been doing work, nothing interesting."

"What do you mean work?" I asked.

"Things with the pack, things with other packs. The usual." He shrugged. 

"I see." I smiled. I want to ask him about the other hallway, so I tried to slip it in casually.

"So what's with the creepy hallway?"

"The creepy hallway?" He raised a brow. Okay, maybe that wasn't so subtle.

"Yes. The one with the metal doors and the one single white door."

He swallowed. "Oh. That hallway." He looked nervous, though he was trying to hide it.

He took in a deep breath. "What you have to understand is. . . I have a very big job. I'm the Alpha to a huge pack, and I control many other things. I run into problems frequently, most of those problems being people. Those doors are for the problems."

"I'm not sure I follow." 

"I keep people in there Stiles. People I need to watch, people I need to get information out of, people I may have to get rid of." He frowned. "I have to have order, and I would prefer the rooms be close to me so that I can handle it and always know if something happens."

I nodded my head. "Makes sense." I couldn't exactly expect an Alpha like him to not have to kill people and 'take care of problems.'

"But what's the white room?" 

He smirked, and a certain gleam comes across his eye. "Don't worry about that for now. We'll. . . Discuss that later." 

I wondered what he was hiding, but I didn't press further. 

I walked around his office, looking around at the place he spent his time in a lot. There was a large desk in front of windows, a large couch in front of a fireplace, which has a tv on top, and several book cases full of many different books. I walked towards them and ran my fingers over the spines. To Kill A Mockingbird, The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn, he was into the classics. 

Collin came up behind me and placed a gentle kiss on my shoulder, then my neck. He slid his tongue out and I suppressed a moan. 

"I was thinking about earlier while I was trying to work. It was very distracting." He flipped me around to where my back was against the bookcase and kissed me. "Thinking about your mouth, the way you taste." I moaned. 

I slid my hand gown his chest and was about to grip his cock when there was a knock on the door. 

"Alpha?" Collin let out a roar, scarring me a little. He strutted over to the door and practically ripped it off of its hinges. 

"I'm so sorry to disrupt you Alpha." A young girl said. 

"Save it. What is it?" He growled out. 

"A fight sir. Between Jasper and V. It's bad sir."

"Shit." Collin cursed. I followed him out and we run towards the fight, which the young girl was leading us to. 

She lead us to the chow hall, where a large crowd had gathered. Some were just standing, some were trying to get Jasper and V off of each other. 

The crowd cleared once they saw Collin, and we could finally see them fighting clearly. 

They were a mass of blood and broken limbs, and Jasper was on top of V, beating her face to a pulp. Jasper didn't look so healthy himself though, as his face was swollen and profusely bleeding. 

"Knock it off!" Collin shouted, trying to rip Jasper off of V. Jasper roared at him, and something in me snapped. 

I didn't think it was anything personal, I thought maybe it was my wolf side, but whatever it was, it made me livid. 

"Get off her!" I shouted, ripping Jasper off of V and throwing him to the ground. He came up and swung, but I dodged easily and delivered my own blow. 

Blood flew out of Jasper's mouth, but he just stood there and smiled at me, teeth stained red. 

"You're pathetic. All of you. This isn't your fight. You-" He stopped and stared at my neck, then looked at Collin.

"He has the fucking mating bite? What the hell is wrong with you?" He screamed at Collin, coming toward him. I stepped in front of Collin and shoved Jasper back. 

"He is your Alpha!" I shouted. 

"Which means I respect and respond to him, not you, mutt!" He yelled. It sent me over the edge. I let out a fierce, ear piercing roar, sending the pack on their knees, covering their ears and turning their necks to the side. Jasper did the same. 

After the roar, everything was silent. Everyone stared at me, shocked. 

Collin yanked me back and stared at my eyes. 

"What?" I asked. He turned me around to where I was looking at the pack. 

"Look." 

I did, and noticed how the pack was sitting. On their knees, necks turned. They were submitting, to me. That was not possible. You only submit to an Alpha. 

I took in a shaky breath. "How? How is this possible? I'm not an Alpha." 

He nodded to his pack, and they all stood, though they didn't move or speak. 

He ran his fingers over my neck where the bite had not healed. "The mating bite. I'm an Alpha, and this shows that you are second in command, since you are mine. Stiles, you control them too now." 

I was about to say something when I felt something sharp plunge into my chest. I couldn't breathe, and I felt blood trickling down my chest. Collin stared at me, in panic stricken shock.

Someone had plunged their claws into my chest.


	21. Love Is In The Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sexy Times :)

I couldn't turn, or move in any sort of way. It didn't hurt, but I knew it should. 

"I still don't understand this at all." I heard a voice say behind me. 

I couldn't breathe, and I started choking. A warm liquid poured out of my mouth. I could feel something sharp around my heart. 

"Why is he so special? He's nothing. I worked for my place in this pack. I'm strong, I was supposed to be second in command. I was supposed to rule by your side! . . . But you chose him." 

I could feel myself fading, but I pushed to stay alive. I was losing air, and the blood in my throat and in my mouth was not helping the situation. 

"Jasper. Please." Collin said. 

Jasper. Of course. I thought I knew all along, but in this state I was just dreaming none of this was real. 

He let out a cackling laugh. "Now you want my help? I was there for you Collin! Me! Always! Then this runt showed up and automatically you want him, you respect him?"

"If you want your job back, I'll give it to you, I'll do anything. Just stop." Collin was desperate. 

Jasper laughed again. I was still in the air, his hand around my heart. If he moved his hand in the slightest way, I would be dead. 

"You think it's about power? My job? God are you this stupid? I protected you, I kept you safe! You think I did that just for my job?"

"You. . . You-"

"I love you! Is it that bewildering? That hard to admit that you know? Of course I love you." 

"Then let him go."

"What?" Jasper asked, puzzled. 

"If you. . . love me, then let him go, it's what I want." 

"No. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to kill him. Why would I give you the satisfaction?" 

Jasper turned his wrist slightly and I let out a cry of pain. The blood was now steadily flowing out of my mouth and nostrils. 

"Stop! Stop, stop, stop! Please! Don't kill him!" Collin begged.

Jasper laughed once again. I only wished I could see his face, but I knew what it would look like. Bloody, crazed. 

"But I want to, so bad. I want to rip out his heart. But you know? Actually, it will be more fun to watch him suffer, to watch you suffer." 

"Stop. Jasper, just stop all this! What do want from me? Your job? Sex? I'll give you anything, just let him go." 

"No you won't. Because what I want is you, us, ruling together. I want you to never think of him again. For it to be like he was never here. But it won't be like that, because you love him. You can never give me what I want." 

Collin stayed quiet, as did Jasper and everyone else. They didn't know what to do, there wasn't anything to do. 

I could feel myself fading, and I saw his face again, Derek's, but it was more real than it ever had been. 

He was touching my face, caressing it, and smiling. "You can't give up. Not yet baby. It's not your time yet. Keep. Fighting." 

I know it couldn't be real, but it seemed like it. I could kick Jasper, or hurt him, as could anyone else. The problem was that if we hurt Jasper, he would move, killing me in the process. 

"You love me right?" Collin said, walking toward Jasper. Jasper didn't move. Collin stood right in front of him, and slowly grabbed Jaspers's face gently. 

"Right?"

"Yes." Jasper breathily whispered. 

"And you want to be with me?" Collin traced his fingertips over Jasper's lips. 

What the hell was he doing? I was dying up here and he was flirting!

"That's exactly why I want you to get help. You're injured, and if you want a happy life with me, we need to get you fixed up." 

"But what about him?" Jasper asked. 

"I can take care of him." 

"No. If you're serious-"

"I am serious." Collin said. 

"Then let me tie him up, I get to keep him just the way I want, while I'm healing. You don't get to see him."

"Of course." What the? What was he saying? Had he lost his mind? 

"Don't touch him." Jasper said. He slowly lowered me to the ground, but didn't pull out his hand. I coughed up more blood, and saw black spots in my vision. 

His claws retracted, and he slowly pulled out his hand. I fell forward, not being able to support myself, and I expected Collin to catch me, but someone else did. Collin stayed put, not even glancing at me. 

I coughed up even more blood, more like puked up more blood, onto the ground, and spit out the remaining blood in my mouth. The blood though, was black.

"C'mon Stiles." Someone lifted me up, and carried me to the infirmary, though I thought I was supposed to be locked up.

I closed my eyes, but not for long, as someone shook me awake. 

"Don't close your eyes. You stay with me okay?" A man said. 

I wanted to sleep, but I did as he said until we reached the infirmary. He laid me on the bed, and once he did I recognized his face, Sam. The guy I fought.

I wanted to say something, but a doctor ran over and blocked my view of him. The minute she moved over, I saw he was gone. 

"Oh gosh. I expected a few cuts and bruises, but nothing like this." The doctor said. 

I coughed yet again, and leaned over the side of the bed while the blood flowed out of my mouth. 

"Oh dear. You're not healing as fast as I would have hoped." She grabbed a needle and thread, cut open my shirt, and started stitching the claw marks. 

"Why. . . Are you doing. . . That?" I asked, breathing between almost every word. 

"Shh. Don't speak. You're not healing fast, so I'm trying to speed up the process." 

I could barely keep my eyes open. 

"You can sleep now honey. It's safe." Without a second thought, I was asleep as soon I closed my eyes. 

Do you ever have that feeling that you just fell asleep, even though you've been asleep for hours? That's what it felt like to me the minute I woke up.

I woke up with a jolt, I had a dream, but I didn't remember what it was about for the time being.

"Hey sweetie." The doctor said, she was a young female with curly blonde hair. 

"You feeling better?" She asked. I looked down at my naked torso, and saw I was completely healed. 

"Yeah. I'm fine. Where's Collin?" 

Her face paled. "The Alpha cannot see you right now, but I was ordered to send you with Sam, he'll explain the rest." 

I nodded, and got up out of bed. She walked me to the door, where Sam took over. 

"Hey Stiles. How're you feeling?" 

"Fine. Want to explain what's going on?" I asked. 

"Follow me." We started walking, and before I knew it we were winding through the mansion, taking rights and lefts, until we were in front of a door. He opened it, and I saw only a table and chairs was in the room. 

We sit, and I was anxious, my foot quickly bouncing up an down. 

"Do you remember everything that happened last night?"

I tried to say yes, but it came out as a small croak. 

"I'm so sorry Stiles." 

I felt pricks in my eyes, and I tried to fight it off, but tears spilled, angry and hot. 

Sam quickly got out of his chair. 

"Don't. Don't say you're sorry. Don't hug me. Don't say it's going to be okay. I get it." I snapped.

"Fine. Then don't you start acting like an asshole. I'm just trying to help." He sighed. "Look Stiles, I know it hurts. And you're this big strong guy so you don't want it hurt. But I know it does." 

"How? How do you know?" I asked.  
He took a seat again. 

"I was dating this girl, totally in love with her. We'd been dating for years, and I decided to pop the question. I went out, bought a tux, a ring, reservations for this fancy French restaurant, everything." He swallowed. "I came home early from work so we could go to dinner, and so I could ask her to be my wife. When I can upstairs, I saw her with another man. Fucking him." He spit out. "She tried to make up bullshit, but it was the guy, not even my own girlfriend, who told me that they had been fucking for two years." 

I didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry." 

"Thanks. I'm just saying I get, alright? But uh, we need to talk about something else." 

"Right." 

"I'm sorry. I am truly sorry. I never wanted this." 

"What?" I felt someone grab me from behind, and start dragging me away. I resisted, and they injected me with something, making me instantly black out. 

\---------------------------------------------

"I can't keep doing this shit for you. This isn't me! It's never been me, you know that."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do, this was the only way." Collin said. 

"But god did you have to drug him? Couldn't you have just-"

"No, I couldn't have. You know that. I can't even believe Jasper let me come talk to you. I want to tell him, but I can't risk it." 

Sam nodded. "So then what are we going to do?" 

"We're going kill him, Jasper I mean."

"How?" Sam looked up into Collin's eyes.

"I'll think of that as I go along." Collin said, walking off. 

"Wait, wait, wait. How long is he going to have to stay down there?" Sam called.

"As long as it takes." Collin said. 

"Collin, he's you ma-" 

Collin shoved Sam up against the wall, wrapping his hand around his throat. 

"And I'm your Alpha." 

Sam submitted, and Collin let him go.

"Jasper is in a room, waiting for me. I'll come in and take him somewhere, and you guys wait outside. Listen in, and as soon as I say now, come in, take Jasper and sedate him. I'll deal with him from there."

"Yes Alpha." Sam left, gathering others. 

\------------------------------------------

When I awoke, I had no clue where I was. My eyes were fuzzy, and wouldn't seem to clear. It smelled musky in here, and I could feel my arms being pulled upwards, supporting me as my feet did not touch the ground. 

My eyes cleared, and I saw there was only one light above my head, however it gave me just enough light to see I was chained up. 

I hiss as my wrist started burning, wolfsbane. 

"Hey!" I shouted, rattling the chains. "Hey let me out of here!" 

A big man twice my size came in. He was bald and mean looking, and had a very deep voice. 

"Alpha Collin said not to let you go, to keep you here. Are you hungry? I got a sandwich and some water, but I can't let you go." 

"No I'm not hungry." I snapped. "Where's Collin? Let me see him."

"I can't do that either, sir." 

Shit. I had to get out if here, I had to see Colin and figure out what the hell was going on. 

"Van, I can take it from here." 

Van, evidently, walked out, and Collin walked in, but to my displeasure, he was with Jasper. 

"Well, look what the cat dragged in. Hello Stiles." Jasper said. 

"Hello Dickface." I said. 

"You know, I liked you better before-" 

"Jasper." Collin said in his Alpha tone. 

Jasper sighed, but didn't argue. "How are you feeling? I see your heart isn't broken." He looked at Collin. "Or maybe it is." 

I roared, shaking the chains, trying to get loose. 

"Now, now, no need to fuss." 

"Let me out of here, you fucking psychotic pervert!"

"Now why would I do that? I have you right where I want you." Jasper sneered.

I looked at Collin, who was emotionless. How could he do this to me? 

"Oh really? And why do you want me here?" I asked. 

"I want to see you go through Hell, and then go to Hell, where you belong." 

"I'll meet you down there asshole." I growled out. Jasper only laughed. He walked over to a machine, and Collin paled. 

"Wait." Collin said. 

"Excuse me? I thought-"

"Yes, of course. I just. . . If he's too tired then you can't play with him for that long." Collin said. 

"Good point. . . But not good enough." Jasper pushed a button on the machine, and volts of electricity shot through me. 

I roared in pain, while Collin just watched. 

"Now!" He yelled. Several men broke down the door and seized Jasper, sedating him. They dragged him out and left without another word. 

Collin quickly unchained me, and caught me when I fell 

"Get your fucking hands off of me!" I yelled. I was furious, he traded me. 

"Stiles-" 

"No! Don't even try to escape this one."

"Please, just listen." I didn't say anything, only because if I did, I was afraid I might start sobbing. 

"Stiles he was going to kill you, no doubt, I had to do something! I figured if I gave him what he wanted, he would leave you alone, at least long enough for me to try and save you. He had to believe I was on his side. I thought he would just tease you, I had no idea. . ."

"I thought you just didn't care about me. I figured it was less trouble to go with him." 

"Of course not." He caressed my face. "Hey, I would never do something like that. I would die for you."

"Why?" 

"W-what?" Collin asked, puzzled. 

"Why? Jasper brought up a good point, why do you care about me? Because I'm special or whatever bullshit you had said since the beginning?" 

"No! Goddamn it Stiles, I love you!"

I froze. "W-. . .What?" 

"I love you." Collin whispered, stroking my cheek. 

I lurched forward and kissed him, tackling him down to the ground. 

"I love you." I said. And I thought it was true. I had never felt true love before, but I thought this is it. 

He kissed me again, then stopped to pull us both up. 

"C'mon." He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. We practically ran toward his room, and when we got there he slammed the door shut and threw me up against it, kissing me. 

His fingers trailed down my back until he gripped my ass, then hoisted me up until my legs were wrapped around him. 

He carried me to the bed and laid me down, never breaking the kiss. 

He trailed his tongue down my jaw and over to my ear, where he tugged on my earlobe. He then trailed his tongue down my neck, nipping and sucking playfully. His lips aligned with where the mating bite still laid, and that raised a question, why was it not healed? I ignored it, and let him continue. 

He bit down again, making me moan, and he lapped up the blood like it was candy. 

He trailed down further, kissing and licking down my chest. His tongue swept into my navel, making me lurch my back off of the bed. 

He chuckled and went down further, until he reached the waist line of my pants. He glanced up, as if asking for permission, but he knew I wanted this. 

He unbuttoned my pants with his teeth, which, can I just say was extremely sexy? 

He yanked my pants down until I was only in my boxers, but I hadn't started with him yet. 

I flipped us over to where I was on top, and I gripped his shirt and pulled, ripping the buttons. 

I kissed my way down his chest, and instead of biting him on the neck, I opted for his side, thought I didn't know why I chose there. 

He moaned in pleasure, and I smirked. I traced my fingertips down his chest until I reached his hard member, and I gave it a squeeze. 

He reached up and squeezed my ass, then ripped my underwear to shreds, fully exposing me. 

He looked at my cock, mouth practically watering. "God you're gorgeous." 

He flipped us over, and wasted no time. He took my dick into his mouth, sucking hard and making me moan. I gripped my hands in his hair, and without meaning to, I shoved him down on my cock hard. He didn't falter, or choke, but I stopped immediately. 

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry."

"Stiles, you're a werewolf, you're strong, it's fine. It doesn't bother me." I nodded and he continued. I didn't want to cum yet, and I felt close, so I shoved him off of me and flipped us. 

I unbuttoned his pants and took his leaking member into my hand, pumping him slowly. He moaned, and I pulled his pants and underwear completely off. 

I had never given anyone a blowjob, but it seemed pretty self explanatory. 

I took him into my mouth, maybe a little to quickly, as I almost choked, but I recovered and continued sucking, licking the underside of his cock, making him moan with pleasure. 

"God, your mouth. Don't stop." 

I continued to suck, and pump what I couldn't fit into my mouth in my hand. He had a nice size, but I was not too shabby myself. 

"I want to fuck you." Collin growled.

"Then do it." With that, he brought me up and flipped us once again. 

"I'll go gently, I promise. But werewolves don't really need condoms." 

"Oh, right." I nodded. 

He stuck his finger in my mouth and I sucked, coating it with saliva. 

"Ready?" He asked. I nodded, and he slipped his finger into my hole. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would, but it was not exactly comfortable. 

He stuck in another finger, scissoring me open. He stuck in another later, until I was ready. 

He leaned down and kissed me, and while we were kissing, he stuck his cock in. He slowly pushed until he was all the way in, and once I nodded he started moving. It was uncomfortable at first, but then he hit a certain spot in me, and I moaned loudly. 

"Oh God. Do that again." I gripped his back hard.

He hit the same spot over and over, picking up speed. 

"Collin I'm going to-" 

"Me too. Do it with me." 

With one more thrust he was coming inside of me, and I came all over his chest. 

He collapsed on top of me, and I ran my fingers through his sweaty hair. 

Within a few minutes, we were both asleep, but unlike Collin, I dreamed of Derek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I tried to make this sex scene kind of quick and not detailed, so that WHEN WE ACTUALLY HAVE STEREK CAUSE GOOD GOD IT'S BEEN A WHILE, it will be beautiful, hot, and detailed! ;)


	22. A Little Compitition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!

He seemed to be glowing in the sunlight, eyes and hair sparkling, face glowing. He was smiling at me, but I didn't know why.

I was confused, but he walked towards me. He frowned, and I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. He started to yell and scream, and all of a sudden we weren't in a beautiful meadow, but dark woods. Something was chasing him, and I seemed to be following. It tackled him to the ground, and he tried to fight him off, but he couldn't. He yelled and screamed for help, but it was like I was trapped behind a glass wall, I couldn't go to him. 

The thing ripped out his throat with its mouth, and I was struck with horror as it turned around and I saw the creature was Collin, smiling. 

I woke up with a yell, and I was sweating. 

"Hey, hey. It's okay, you're okay." Collin said.

I flinched back when he touched me, and he frowned. It was just a dream though. It felt so real, but it couldn't be, Collin wasn't like that. 

"Yeah. I'm okay." I mustered up a smile. "What day is it?"

"Friday."

"Holy shit, the full moon is in tomorrow, I'm not ready for this." 

"You will be, training starts in thirty minutes, we can start then."

I took in a deep breath, I could do this. I nodded my head and we got up out of bed to get ready. 

I changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, as did Collin.

We headed to breakfast, and to my surprise, I was not nervous, in fact, I was ready to kick ass. A wash of adrenaline came over me. 

Everyone stared, that hadn't changed, but we took our seats, and ate quickly. I found myself impatiently waiting for everyone to finish eating. 

"A little anxious aren't we?" Collin murmured. 

I smiled. "Actually, I'm fine, perfectly fine, just ready to kick ass."

Collin smiled. "I'm just as ready," He leaned in close, and I could feel his breath on my neck and ear. "Your ass looks perfect in those shorts." 

I found myself biting my lip trying not to laugh. 

Soon enough, we were headed to the gym. Everyone piled in the locker room, and at the sight of everyone in it, I was hit with an image, only a flash, of kids in red jerseys. I shook it off, not wanting to destroy my adrenaline.

I'll admit I stared when Collin changed his shirt from a long sleeve to a tank top, but I mean god damn. 

We all headed out, and I saw stations were set up. Everyone gathered, as Collin was about to speak. 

"Remember what I have been saying. Work on execution and your actual skill, not just the win. If I see anyone who isn't sweating or happens to beat someone on the mats easily, I know you didn't do what I said. We'll start with stations, weightlifting, running, boxing, freestyle, and a little fun, a little competition," everyone grinned. "At the end of practice, of course. Like I said, last hour on mats, and some fun. Everyone good?"

A mumble of "yes sir's" and "yes alpha's" were heard.

I was ready to get started, but then I saw everyone break off into groups, and I didn't know where to go. Luckily, V came to my rescue.

"Stiles! Come with us." She looked different like this, without her piercings and heavy eyeliner. She was wearing a black sports bra and black spandex, and her group was in similar attire, except for the males, who all just had shorts on. 

"Hey I uh. . . Thanks, and all that." V said. It was apparent she was terrible at apologies, but I didn't mind. 

"Of course. Where are we starting?" I asked.

"Freestyle. Here we can basically do whatever, bench, push-ups, anything you want." 

"Alright." I saw the pull up bar, and started there. I hopped up, and went through one hundred, but I felt like I could do more. I felt the gaze of others on me, and another pump of adrenaline coursed through me. I speed up, and was on my two hundred and fourth seventh pull up when the bell sounded to move on to the next station, which happened to be kickboxing, shit.

I had never done anything near kickboxing, but I kept what I said this morning in my head, I was going to kick ass. 

In the room we were currently in, there were punching bags and two mats. I opted for one of the punching bags. 

"Here." V said. She wrapped my hands in some kind of tape. "I know that we would heal almost instantly, but this way you can keep going without having to stop." 

"Thanks." Once I was all wrapped up, I watched V and a few other people who were on the bags, they just punched it, and stared at it as if it's a person. 

I gave it a punch, and looked around. I felt like an idiot. I gave a few more punches, and tried to get into it. 

I felt hands on my side, but I didn't have to turn around or say anything to figure out who it was.

"Tighten here," he said, reaching around and touching my sides and stomach. "Bend your knees, pretend its a real person, but don't just punch relentlessly, it's as of you have another person in front of you, so you want to wait for the punch that they throw." I do as he said. 

"Good." He walked away, out of the room, and I continued to punch the bag. I didn't feel comfortable to go on the mats, though someone invited me. The bell rung a few minutes later, and we headed to the running station.

"Alright, here we are also pretty free, but my group sort of has a system." V said. I nod. 

"We start with two down and backs, to get warm. Then five suicides. Whoever is last has to do two more. Once we're done with that, we do sprints. The loser has to do two more. Then we have a freestyle section, you just have to be running."

"Alright." I said. We lined up, and started our laps. I had to remember to pace myself, this part wasn't a race. 

Once we were done, we lined up again, and on V's mark, we took off. I ran fast, but not as fast as I could, I knew I needed to save my energy. I kept running, not looking at anyone around me. I was on my last one, running towards the start line when I finally looked up, and I see that the others are only halfway through their last one. 

I waited for them once I was done, and they stared at me as if I was some sort of alien. 

"Dude? What the hell?" I have always been fast, but damn." A young black male said. I smiled. 

"Alright, sprints you guys." A girl said. We lined up, everyone was leaning forwards. "One full down and back, first one back wins." This was what I had been waiting for. She yelled go, and I took off, digging my feet into the dirt and propelling myself forwards. I turned my body before I was supposed to turn, so I didn't have to stop, and sprinted back. 

It seemed like that only took me a few seconds, and I won, again.

"That's just not fair." The same male said. I laughed. 

"Impressive." A girl said, whipping the mascara from underneath her eyes. It was freestyle time now. Everyone took off, running in different directions. I didn't exactly know what to do, but I saw the woods and decided to go for a run. 

I didn't sprint, but I enjoyed the run, the dirt in between my bare feet, the sound of the wind rushing past me, the birds chirping. I didn't realize how far I had gone, so I turned back.

I did right in time, as the bell rung and we moved to weightlifting. 

I saw the bench was unoccupied, so I started there, and decided to work out with what my best score was, 395 pounds. The others gazed at me, but I continued to focus so I didn't drop the bar. 

Once done, I squatted 415, a comfortable number. 

The bells rung, and this was the moment I had been waiting for, the mats. 

Once we were all in there, I saw there were around ten more mats than there were the last time I was there. 

Collin walked up, and the room silenced. 

"Listen up! There are fifteen mats, each one will be occupied, and some of you will be waiting off. Which mat you are on depends on where you are currently ranked, and then if you win or not. For example, if I am on mat six and I win, I will advance. Once you lose you are out. Got it?" Everyone nodded. "Alright. Mat 15, Rachell and Glen. Mat 14, Mike and Alexander." He continued to call off the names, and I waited patiently for him to call me. "Mat 3, Stiles and Earl." 

Yes! Mat three, that was a good ranking, and with a guy named Earl, I was sure I could win. 

. . . I shouldn't have underestimated Earl, he was huge, around 6'7", and probably 300 pounds. 

Everyone climbed up onto the mat, and the rest piled around them, waiting for their turn at mat 15. 

"Ready? Begin!" Collin called out. 

I widened my eyes as Earl started yelling and charging at me, but I moved quickly and dodged his attack. I could tell he would be sloppy, but one blow will hurt like hell. 

I stood my ground, and waited for him to make another move. He swung his slow fist, and I ducked, then quickly came back up to deliver my own blow, but he caught my fist and twisted it, making want to yell out in pain. 

I stepped on his foot, as a last resort, and escaped. 

No more playing around, I needed to beat this guy. I ran in, as if I was going to crash into him, but then I purposefully slid under him. While his back was turned toward me, I kicked him in the back and he fell down. I climbed on top of him and punched him once, before getting up. He didn't get up after that, and I didn't realize how hard I punched him until I saw he was gushing blood. A women cradled him, and glared daggers at me. 

"Nice match." Collin whispered behind me. 

I smirked. "I wanted to dominate, that was my goal today." 

"Want to know what I'm going to dominate?" Collin whispered. He slid his hand down my back until he grips my ass. My breath hitched in surprise. 

Everyone was finished with their match, so I got back on mat 2 after clearing my throat due to Collin's surprise visit. The women in front of me was small, but ripped. She would be quick and strong. 

"Ready? Start!" Collin called. 

She attacked quickly, and delivered a hard blow to my jaw. I swung, but she dodged easily, and punched me again. I growled, and go to attack, but changed my mind quickly, and jumped over her five foot frame, momentarily stunning her. I was behind her, just as I was the other guy, but this time I grabbed her and slammed her on the ground. I climbed on top of her, delivering two blows to her face before she kicked me and rolled on top. 

I brung my knee up to her stomach and kicked her hard, making her double over in pain. I seized the moment and delivered another punch, which slammed her head down hard onto the mat. She was done now.

A friend pulled her off, and I was afriad that they will glare at me as well, but even with blood all over her, she smiled. I smiled back, apologetically. 

Collin was off monitoring another fight, and I stood waiting for my next partner. 

"Hey Stiles." A man said. 

"Hey." I said. He looked at me confused, and then something seemed to click for him. 

"Oh, right. I'm Frankie." He said, sticking out his hand. His blonde hair had blood in it, but I didn't say anything. I shook his hand, but I didn't say my name, as he already knew it.

"What mat are you on?" I asked. 

"Six." He smiled. Soon, I saw everyone stepped onto their mats for the next round. 

"Good luck!" Frankie said. 

"You too." I murmured after he was gone. What a strange kid. 

I stepped up onto the mat, to be faced with yet another unfamiliar face. I wondered how many people were actually in Collin's pack. 

"Alright everyone, this match determines your ranking, which will be posted, and the champion for today."

I looked at my partner, and took him in. He was a large black male, and didn't look happy. I didn't smile or falter my stance as Collin told us to begin. 

He stalked forward and threw a punch with his left, which I dodged by moving right, only to be met with his right fist crashing into my cheek. I felt blood pour into my mouth, but this was only the beginning. 

I faked him out with a punch, and went to kick his stomach, but he caught my foot and flipped me down. 

"Think that would work?" He hissed in my ear, holding my hands back. 

"No, but this will." I bit his arm as a distraction, making him yank it back, and giving me enough space to kick him in the chest, sending him flying back. 

He was about to stand when I kicked him in the face, making blood fly. 

He clumsily got up, and I let him. He lazily threw a punch, but I caught his fist and punched him. 

He collapsed, I beat him, and I was going to the championship. 

I saw everyone else had already finished, and everyone cheered when I won. I didn't smile, but I had to hold in a smirk. 

I went to the championship mat, where someone handed me a water and a towel, which I used with great appreciation. 

"I'm impressed." Collin said.

"Don't be yet." I said. An idea popped into my head, and I smirked. "Let's make a deal."

Collin raised an eyebrow. "Alright?"

"If I win, you have to come get a tattoo with me. It obviously doesn't have to be the same, but you have to get one with me." 

"Deal." Collin said. We shake, and he gave me a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. He walked off, about to start the match, but I grabbed his shoulder quickly, and whispered in his ear, "I also expect fantastic victory sex." 

I felt him laugh, and I went back to the mats, not surprised to see a face I didn't recognize. 

He was smiling and joking with other people, but when everyone quieted down because we were about to start, his face hardened, ready to start. 

Collin initiated the start, and everyone cheered as if they were at a football game. 

I bended my knees, and waited for an attack. He ran, and tackled me to the ground, making the crowd let out sounds of pain, but I wasn't done. I flipped us, and punched him, but he kicked me off. I landed on my back, but jumped up. I ran straight towards him, but then dodged to my right at the last minute, striking him in the stomach, and while he was crumpled over I kick him in the face. 

He roared out, and I smirked. I shifted to my wolf form, as he had done. After this we were a mess of punching, faces bleeding, and I decided I was done, it was time to end this. I roared and ran to him, but then slid under him while keeping my foot up, which hit him in the crotch. When he fell to his knees, I nail him in the back of the head, and he slumped forward, but he was not defeated yet. 

He slowly got up, and I let him, but the minute he was completely up I punched him hard, which knocked him out cold. 

Everyone cheered, I won! 

I looked to Collin, but he was no where to be found. A swarm of people crowded around me, congratulating me. I tell them thanks quickly, and I looked around and found the man I defeated and went over to him. 

"Hey man, good match." I stuck out my hand, but he grabbed it only to break my hand into a million pieces. I yelled out, and fell to my knees. He was clearly a bad sport. 

"Where was that during the match?" I gritted out. 

He roared, and I stand and roared louder, making him fall to his knees, mouth shut and submitting. 

I didn't know what to do, everyone was watching me, so I just sort of nodded, and he got up. He walked off with his friends, and soon everything was back to normal. 

I spotted Collin coming inside, wet from the rain; his hair and shirt are stuck to him. 

I walked over towards him briskly, and he smiled, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the woods. 

I slammed him into a tree, and kissed his lips harshly, not that he seemed to mind. 

"Do you realize what you do to me? You could have made me lose control looking like that, or at least pop a boner." I said, and he laughed loudly. 

"Your fight was impressive." 

"Oh so you saw it? I didn't see you." 

"Yes I saw it, I just left immediately after." 

He didn't seem like he wanted to go into greater detail, so I left it. 

"I believe you owe me a fantastic rest of the day." I said. 

"Hmm. I believe I do." He kissed me again, before grabbing my hand and leading me back inside. 

"Everyone, back to your rooms, have a good rest of the day." He said. 

The crowd thinned, but we remain. 

"So, what tattoo do you want this time Stiles? And why do you want me to get one?"

"One on my arm, of the woods. And I want you to get one because I want to see you in the chair, shirtless, sexy, getting a detailed patch of skin that I'm going to lick later on."

He swallowed. "Alright." He smirked. We walked towards the parlor, and I couldn't help but smile. 

"So clearly you're a fan of tattoos, how do you feel about piercings?" I asked.

"I'm not personally a fan, I've had a ear piercing, it's just not my style. Why? Are you going to get one?" 

"No I don't think so. They don't seem like something I would like, or look good in, but then again, I guess you never know until you try. Maybe I'll get a Prince Albert." I said, smirking and waiting for his reaction. 

He seemed to choke on his own spit, and then looked at me grinning. 

"I don't know about that." Collin said. 

"What, you don't think I would look good in it?" I asked.

". . . Maybe we should talk about this later." He said, as we walked into the parlor.

"Hey V!" I said.

"Hey Stiles. What can I get you?"

"Both me and Collin want tattoos, though I have no idea what he wants done."

"Okay, I can take you both in this room. Eric will take Collin, I'll take you Stiles." 

We both laid down on the red chairs, and Collin smirked at me. 

"Well, I'm thinking a section from my hand to my elbow, a mix of skulls and roses." Collin spoke.

"Sounds tight." V said. She grabbed a sketch book and sketched a design, showing it to Collin, in which he nodded in approval. She gave the sketch to Eric, and he began. 

"Alright Stiles, I've already drawn you something, does this look good?"

"Perfect as always, that seeing other people's images thing must be useful."

"Eh, sometimes, it can be horrible too." I smirked knowing what she was saying, so I think of one image; me and Collin having sex. 

"Oh my god! Gross! Stiles, you did that on purpose!" 

I laughed hard, and Collin and Eric just stared at us. 

"Stay still!" She hissed. I stopped moving immediately, wanting the tattoo to be perfect. It hurt, as I expected, but I was okay after a few seconds. I looked over at Collin and saw he was completely nonchalant. 

A few hours later, it was finished, and Collin was finished just a few minutes later.

I got up and he looked at my tattoo, and I did the same to his. 

"I like it." Collin said. 

"And I like yours." I returned. 

"Thank you V, Eric." Collin nodded. They nod back, and we exited the parlor. 

We headed back to the room, and I shoved Collin back onto the door as soon as he shut it. I kissed him, and he hummed in pleasure. 

"I believe you have to fulfill your other part of the deal." 

"Indeed." Collin said. He sunk down onto his knees and unbuttoned my pants. The rest of the day was filled with hot blissful sex.


	23. Lies

Today was the day. I was not sure if it was just nerves or actual symptoms, but I could feel it in my bones. 

"You're going to do great." Collin said, squeezing my hand. It was breakfast time, and everyone was talking loudly. 

I picked my food, not really eating. I thought about how the full moon would go, what would happen, and something popped into my head, Scott wrapped up in handcuffs. I furrowed my eyebrows, and continued picking my food. 

Soon we were headed to the gym. The day seemed to go fast, but slow at the same time. 

We went through our normal routine, but I could tell I was out of it when I almost fell while squatting 415. 

"You okay?" V asked.

"Yeah. . . Just can't really focus."

"That'll happen, it's normal. I just try to focus on my anchor, that helps." She smiled, and walked off. Well that wouldn't work, there was no way in hell I was even going to think about that useless piece of crap. 

I knew it was probably against the rules, but I stopped working. I was just so damn angry, I had been this entire day. It was like I couldn't get happy. 

I walked into the locker room, and stripped my clothes. I turned on a cold shower, and shudder when I first stepped in, but soon got used to the coldness. 

I rested my palm on the shower wall, putting my weight on it, and hung my head. I watched the water flow down the drain. 

For the first time, I wondered about my old pack. I hated thinking about them, but I figured it was not going to hurt to just think about them, just this once. I had bottled up all of my emotions towards them that I shocked myself when I found myself thinking about them. 

First I pictured Scott, black fluffy hair, all smiles. It didn't seem like he could be so cruel. I tried to picture him torturing me, but I couldn't. 

I moved onto Allison, strong and brave. She could look like a crazy son of a bitch, but inside she was a mushball. I couldn't see her hurting me either, and a wash of pain rushed over me as I realized she was gone. This feeling confused me. I shouldn't have felt this way if she tortured me. 

Lydia, fierce and beautiful. She reminded me of fire, brilliant and beautiful, but dangerous. Not dangerous enough to hurt someone like me though.

Isaac, Jackson, Boyd, Erica, and Liam. All strong and fearless. They had all been jerks at times, but they didn't seem to work either. 

Lastly, Derek. Derek was a stupid brooding idiot. Harsh lines and dark inside. I had seen him angry plenty of times, I had seen him kill. Derek would do anything he wanted to protect himself, hell, maybe he'd just kill me for fun, since I was always just the annoying teenager. 

Derek was the only one that I could picture with a harsh face, a hard face that was ready to kill. But then I pictured something totally different, Derek smiling. His beautiful eyes twinkling, too white teeth shining. Maybe he wasn't so bad, but. . . No. I couldn't think that. Collin was the sweetheart, he pulled me in, saved me. Derek and all the others wanted to hurt me. 

I stayed on that thought, repeating it over and over, but then a little thought seemed to peak through my hard wall. 

Did they really hurt you? 

This voice echoed in my head, and made my heart beat faster.

I couldn't really remember any memories about them, only bad ones. What I found strange was that Collin told me they took those memories away, but I was curious why they did. Did they only want me to remember what awful things they did? But even the bad memories, I couldn't remember too many of those either.

I had been so stupid. I had just stayed here without questioning anything. I needed to talk to Collin, I needed to see if I could get those memories back or. . . Maybe I could do better than memories. Maybe I could get the truth from the pack themselves. I hadn't forgot about Collin and I's plan to kill them all.

I turned the water off and put on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I walked out of the locker room and someone smashed me against the wall as soon as I did. 

"Hello Stiles." I recognized this guy as the guy that I fought in the championship yesterday. I was not in the mood to deal with assholes with bad sportsmanship. 

"Fuck off." I moved away, but he slammed me back again. I grabbed the front of his shirt, and slammed him to the ground. 

"I said fuck off! I'm not in the mood to deal with your shit! You lost, get over it, you're still in second place, where most people would love to be. So pull the stick out of your ass, and get over it!" I released him from my grip, and stood up. I turned around, but soon stopped. 

"You just fucked up Stilinksi." I heard him say. He charged, but I pinned him against the wall. My claws were wrapped around his throat, and he couldn't breathe. I was going to kill him. 

"Why can't you get over it?" I yelled. Truthfully, I was asking him why he had to make me this way, I hated being this way.

"Stiles, just back off man." V said. 

I whipped my head around, and everyone was staring at me. 

"Why should I?" I snapped. For the first time since Jasper, I saw people truly scared. This time because they thought I was going to kill this guy.

"I'm so tired of this shit. All this pack cares about is stats! I don't even-" I cut off. I didn't even know who they were. Ever since I got here I pushed my feelings and questions away, because I was safe, and I felt more whole than I ever had. 

"Where is the Alpha?" I asked, claws still wrapped around the man'a throat. No one answered me. 

"Where. Is. The. Alpha?" I yelled. Everyone kneeled down and submit, except for the man I was holding up. No one answered. 

"So no one knows?" I asked. One person was brave enough to shake their head. 

I turned back to the man I was currently choking. "What's your name?" 

He coughed, but managed to choke out Chase.

"Well Chase, the Alpha is no where to be found, that's a problem. You see, I need to talk to him, and I also need to figure out what I want to do with you." I scratched my chin as if I was contemplating what to do. 

"I-I'm. . . S-Sorry." He choked out. I gazed at him, eyes a bright blue, and I could tell he was uncomfortable. I wanted to rip his throat out, but I retracted my hand with a snap of my teeth. I threw back my head and roared, calling for Collin. The rest of the pack joined in, and the room was practically shattering windows. I ran outside, and it took only a few seconds for Collin to show up.

"What happened? What's going on?" 

I shoved him up against the tree, but I didn't move. My head was buried in my armpit, shielding my face. I was trying not to lose control, especially to an Alpha. 

"Stiles, tell me what's going on." I shoved off of him, pissed off. 

"The short story? I went looking for you, this jackass decided to mess with me, you weren't there. I almost killed him Collin! You're an Alpha, you're supposed to help me, you said you would! You also said we would do something about my old pack, we haven't! I just-" I broke off with a roar, gripping my hair. 

"I'm sorry. I had to do something-" 

"I don't care! I just wanted you to be here!" I yelled. I knew I probably sounded like a needy child, I just didn't want to feel this way anymore, confused, dangerous. 

"You know what? Forget it." I turned around, but Collin caught up to me. 

"Don't walk away from me, please just talk to me." 

"I don't want to talk to you Collin, actually, no, I do. I want answers." I said firmly. 

He nodded. "Okay. Just come inside, we'll talk, I promise."

I walked away, heading back inside. 

"Alpha he-" Chase said. 

"I really don't give a fuck, back to your rooms, all of you." Chase looked stunned, but walked away with everyone else. 

I headed towards one of the meeting rooms, the rooms with only table and chairs in them. 

Once Collin was inside, I shut the door and took a seat. He sat down slowly a few seconds later. 

"Clearly this is serious." Collin said. 

"Where were you?" I asked.

"I had to do something." 

"That doesn't tell me shit Collin!" 

He sighed. "Work. There was a rogue I had to kill because it was a threat to the humans." 

I didn't say anything. After a few minutes, I stood. "What exactly was your plan? Did you plan to just 'rescue' me, make me strong, make me yours, all the while not telling me anything?" 

"Where is this coming from?" Collin asked, worried. Truthfully I didn't know where this was coming from, though I suspected the full moon.

I then decided now was as good a time as any to tell him about the images and crap I had been seeing. 

"I keep seeing them, my old pack. These. . . visions. I hated them, but it seems like every time I see them, I become less and less angry. I wondered why that is, have I just gotten use to them?" I turned back from where I was pacing, and walked the other way. "Or perhaps it was something else?" I stopped in front of Collin. 

"I want the truth. If you can't tell me new information, I want the memories. Actually, fuck that. You should be able to tell me something for once, and right now, I don't want you fucking with my head."

"Where do you think you would be right now if we hadn't save your ass?" He yelled, standing.

"I don't know Collin, because I don't remember, and you haven't told me!" 

He growled at me. "Go ahead, growl, roar, yell, try to distract me while you figure out a plan. But it won't work, I want answers Collin." 

"I've already told you before." He snapped.

"Yes, my father, the raging alcoholic who beat me and went to a mental institution. I don't remember any of that, pretty sure I should." 

"They erased many of your memories."

"That's strange, see, you told me they only erased memories of you guys, and now you're telling me they erased memories of my past life, even things before Scott got bit?" 

"Stiles-" 

"I don't remember anything that you said they did, oh but that's right, they erased that too! But I got to thinking, if Peter can do it, you sure as hell can. Then I got an even crazier idea, what if that didn't happen, what if you're just making shit up?"

"Now you're getting out of line. We took you in when you most needed it! I saved your goddamn life!"

"And yet no one remembers me!" 

He stayed silent after this. I had caught him in his lie. 

"I never wanted it to end like this." He said. He tone had changed, almost. . . Expressionless, without care.

Before he could even move, I was running out the door. I could tell as soon as his claws came out, he was going to kill me. 

I ran as fast as I could, but I knew he would be faster, still, I kept going. 

I also knew then that I was right. My memories weren't correct, the memories that were gone were memories he erased. 

I could hear him gaining on me. I couldn't outrun him, and I couldn't fight him, so I did the only thing I thought had a slight chance at saving me. I howled. 

It seemed to shake the trees, but I kept running. Soon I was tackled to the ground. 

Collin laughed. "God I knew this would happen, you're too smart, I just didn't think it would happen so soon. Did someone let you in? Or did you just figure it out all by yourself?" 

I rolled over and kicked him off, but he pinned me again. 

"I knew from the minute I saw you that you would be perfect, but would be a lot of work. Any normal person wouldn't even have any part of the memories come back, but you." He shook his head. 

I tried to move again, and he sliced my chest. I roared out in pain. 

"You were just so perfect, and you had to go and do this." 

I tried to escape, but I couldn't. All of a sudden, he flipped me. 

"But you're still so beautiful." He whispered in my ear. I could feel his hard on, the sick bastard. 

"Get off of me!" I yelled. I managed to kick him in his thigh, and the minute he let go ever so slightly, I ripped out of his grip and took off. 

I only get a few feet before he grabbed my throat and threw me against a tree. He was furious, red eyes staring at me. He roared, and I fought the urge to submit. 

"You were certainly much more fun when you were chained up." He laughed. 

He had my arms pinned above my head with one hand, and the other on my throat. He squeezed my arms, breaking them. I roared out in pain, and prayed someone, anyone, could hear me. 

He grinded up against me, and I could feel the tears leaking out of my eyes. 

He pulled my head forward to smack it against the tree, and I saw black spots in my vision. 

"Look at me!" He kneed me in the stomach, and I crumpled. When I was down, he kicked me in the stomach. 

"You were a lot easier when you were human, but not as much fun." He kicked me again, in the stomach, and then in the face, and I spat out blood. 

"Please, just stop." I moaned.

"I don't think so." He growled. He reared his foot back to kick me again and I closed my eyes, but the impact never came. I found that once I closed my eyes, it was hard for me to open them, but I did, and saw Collin was no longer in front of me. 

I rolled over, and tried to stand, but a shoulder pressed me down. 

"Woah." I recognized the voice, probably just a person from the pack, but I ignored them and stood. 

Once I did, I was so shocked I stopped breathing. Collin was being held down by four men, four men I recognized. 

I walk over and see Collin's hard gaze. His eyes were glowing red, his fangs protruding from his mouth sharply.

"Get your hands of of me!" He yelled. 

I roared, louder than I ever had before, and I make all the men submit, which made them let go of Collin. However, before he could move I was on top of him. 

For every sentence, I clawed at Collin's chest, each one going deeper and deeper. "You lied to me." One mark. "You made my whole life a lie." Another. "You used me. You're a sick bastard, and you shouldn't be alive." I leaned in close, and gripped his throat. 

"I want to make you suffer, like I did, but I think this will be more fun. I'm going to enjoy this." I leaned down and gripped his throat in my mouth. With one sharp pull, I ripped it out, and his scream turned into a gurgle, then nothing. Blood stayed everywhere, including on me, but I made no move to wipe it off, it was my trophy.

My blood pounded, and my teeth elongated further. My eyes turned red, I was the Alpha. 

I stood, turned, and looked towards my pack. Not Frankie, or Sam, or V, but my real pack. 

"Guess I'm the Alpha now fuckers." I grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh SHAT! It's going down fo real! *cue song* Let me know what y'all think! Thanks for your support and for sticking with this story and all of Collin's BS!


	24. Finding Out The Truth

After what I had said, it was like the world slowed down. I could feel power coursing through my blood. I could hear the heartbeats of everyone around me, hear their blood. 

I looked down at my claws, and saw they were longer than usual. I could feel that my teeth were much more sharp and jagged. 

When I looked up, everyone was staring at me. 

"You. . . You're a. . . A wolf?" Scott stuttered out, breathing heavily. 

"Don't play that stupid game anymore. I know the truth. I know Derek turned me, don't act dumb." I shoved past all of them, heading back to the mansion. 

"Wait!" Scott grabbed my shoulder. "Dude- I- woah. That never-" 

"Don't fucking touch me!" I growled, shoving his hand off. 

"Stiles! Wait! Just- give us time to explain!" Lydia called out. 

I slowly turned around. "Explain what? I don't need an explanation." 

"Well I mean. . . Clearly you're confused-"

"Confused?" I roared, walking closer. "I'm not confused! I want nothing to do with you, any of you!" In the back of my head, I knew that maybe, just maybe, they didn't want to hurt me, but that little thought was over come with anger. They thought they could just come back after torturing me for so long? 

I also didn't realize at that moment I had taken back everything I had said and thought. I was beginning to think maybe they weren't the bad guys, but in that moment, the moment where I was filled with the power of the full moon, anger, pain, and weakness, I just wanted to be alone, and away from all of these overwhelming feelings. 

"Stiles, I don't know what you think is going on but-" Scott started. 

"I know exactly what's going on!" 

"Really?" He growled. "I don't think so, otherwise you wouldn't be acting like this." 

I got up in his face and growled. How dare he growl at me.

"Stiles." I heard a voice call. It made me stop what I was doing, and turn slowly towards it. It was him, the one who changed everything, the one who made me question my whole life. Derek. 

He was the one who kept me grounded, but at this moment I couldn't be angrier at him. 

I ran and pinned him against the tree, hand around his throat, and mouth open to where I could rip his throat out at any time. 

The strangest part of this moment was not how I acted, but how he did, calm, and unchanged. 

"Please, just give us a few minutes, five, just to talk to you." I didn't want to talk, but I did want answers. If we were going to do this, it was going to be my way. 

"Fine, follow me." I let go of his throat, but didn't shift from my beta, now Alpha, form. They all glanced at each other, then followed my lead. 

I led them back to the mansion, and once inside, the pack was staring at me. 

"Stay here." I said to. . . Them, the old pack. 

"Stiles what the hell has been going on?" Someone asked. "Who the fuck are these mutts?" Someone else asked. 

That answered one question, the Worth pack didn't know who my old pack was, or my story.

"Holy shit." I heard Scott whisper, looking at my pack. I knew he was looking at how many of them there were. 

"Where is the Alpha?" Someone asked. 

I smiled and cocked my head. "What, you don't recognize him?"

"Stop playing games Stilinski. You may be able to kill a few, but you don't stand a chance against this whole pack." For a moment, just a flicker, I was afraid, but then I remembered. I was the Alpha, and that came with perks. I could control them. 

I stepped up and roar. "You dare challenge me? I. Am. Your Alpha!" I roared. Everyone in the entire room submitted, except for two, Scott and Derek. 

I walked over and stood in front of Scott. "Hmm. You're the true alpha. . . Interesting. But you," I stood in front of Derek. "I didn't expect to see you with red eyes." Derek stood still. 

I turned back to Collin's pack, and nodded, making them un-submit. 

"I'm sorry for disrespecting you Alpha, my apologies." Said the man who had just told me that I would stand no chance against this pack. 

"As your Alpha, I need a job from you." I looked around, making sure I had everyone's full attention. 

"Take these people and chain them up, wolfsbane laced chains." 

I heard protest from the pack behind me, they were trying to escape and stop Collin's pack from taking them. 

"I also want then hooked up to wires and all that shit, all connected." 

I stepped out of the way, and soon enough they were all locked up in a room. 

I waited in the chow hall, glancing outside the window until someone informed me they were all chained up. Then, I walked into the room they were being held in. 

"Stiles! This is ridiculous!" Scott snapped. 

"You said you wanted time to explain, I'm doing exactly that, just under my conditions." I smiled wickedly and took a seat. 

"So, first things first. Tell me what happened when I. . . Left. I would like to hear your side of the story." I propped my feet up on a table, and rested my clasped hands on my stomach. 

The pack turned towards Derek, sparking my curiosity.

"Derek was the last one to be with you." Lydia spoke. 

I quirked an eyebrow, I wasn't expecting that. 

He didn't look like he wanted to talk, but I wasn't going to give him the option not to, and he soon seemed to figure that out. 

"You. . . I was at your house, and I heard a howl, an unfamiliar one. I left you inside, hoping you'd be safe there while I checked things out." He paused. "When I went outside, I was immediately injected with some type of wolfsbane, knocking me out. I don't remember anything after that until Scott found me and said you had been missing for several hours." 

So that meant no one truly knew what happened, except for Collin, but there was no help there. 

"And were you concerned that I was gone?" 

"Of course!" Malia yelled. 

"Oh, forgive me. That was a stupid question. I forgot that you enjoy having me, as your little punching bag of course. That must have been quite entertaining, no wonder you missed me so dearly." 

"What?" Scott said, confused. 

I laughed, though nothing was truly funny. "Let me tell you my side of the story." 

"All I remember, is that I woke up in a cell. There was blood everywhere, on my neck especially. I didn't know where I was, but then a man who I also didn't know, Collin, pulled me out, and told me about werewolves. I thought he was crazy, but then I somehow. . . remembered. Then, he said he was going to tell me the full story, about why I was here and why I couldn't remember anything." I paused. 

"First he told me I was born in Beacon Hills, California. My mother died a while ago, and my dad was raising me, though not well. He beat me, didn't feed me, he was unfit to raise me, so they took him away to a mental institution-"

"Stiles that's insane! John would never ever do anything like that!" Scott protested. 

"This is my turn to talk, be quiet, wolf." I snapped.

He kept quiet, and I continued. "Scott here, took me in. One night, we decided to look for a dead body. A werewolf came out and bit Scott, turning him."

"At least that much is the truth." Scott mumbled. He was clearly angry.

"Interrupt me again, and that thing attached to you won't be so comfortable, for any of you." I snapped. 

"Now then. Once we were in a miserable excuse for a pack, I found it wasn't so pleasant. Derek enjoyed seeing me in pain, hurting me daily for sport. Jackson and Lydia teamed up like high school bullies, making fun of me. Allison I thought was nice at first, but then I learned she hated me, and gave the pack ideas of ways to hurt me. She only tolerated me face to face because of Scott." Scott let out a small whine. 

"You all said you would end my life if I didn't remain loyal, so I of course did."

"Stiles we would never kill you, let alone hurt you!" Kira yelled.

I stood up from my chair, and walked up close to her. 

"Fox, I would recommend not opening that mouth of yours, or the next time you do it will be to scream." 

She shut her mouth abruptly, and I walked around, looking at the pack. 

"When I became the Nogitsune, I was dangerous and killed many, including Allison and Aiden. This of course made you all furious, and you wanted to kill me. But, that wasn't enough for you, you wanted to see me suffer, so, you took away the one thing that was most important to me, my humanity-"

"Stiles, we never-" This time, I cut Lydia off by moving the knob on a machine, sending volts of electricity coursing through all of their veins. They all yelled and screamed, I only rolled my eyes. 

"I bet you all got in trouble a lot in school for talking." I shook my head. They were panting and moaning, but I continued.

"Anyways, so Derek turned me, and once the bite took, you all chained me up in wolfsbane chains, much like the ones you are in now. You kicked, punched, hit, cut, electrocuted, and basically did anything that would make me bleed or have me in pain. You enjoyed it, especially because I kept healing, so you could do it over and over again." 

"Please, we never-" Scott protested, right before I turned the knob once again. Once the screams and whimpers were relatively controlled, I continued. 

"Pretty soon, I became smart, and stronger. I miraculously escaped, running to the woods. There, Collin and his pack took me in. But do you want to know the real kicker? When I came here, I didn't remember any of that and, the pack didn't remember me at all." I gazed at the pack. 

"Now, evidently you found me again, and Peter took all of those memories from me, but, later on I got to thinking, why would he take away the memories of my father, and yourselves? I mean, wouldn't he want me to have those horrendous memories, so that I could suffer more?" 

Of course this was a rhetorical question, and no one dared to answer. 

"You see, now I'm all confused. I just don't know what the real story is. Sure, Collin's was believable, but there were holes in it. I would like to hear your. . . Theories now, I give you permission to speak." 

Scott of course was the first to open his mouth. 

"You said there was a lot of blood on your neck, sounds like that's where you got bit. But, don't you think that if Derek bit you, all the blood would be gone? Especially if they took you in. They would have cleaned you up." 

"Good Scott, I thought of that too."

"So maybe it wasn't Derek who turned you, maybe it was Collin." Scott said, almost cautiously. 

I nodded my head. I needed the facts though, anyone could tell me anything. But what about Collin's pack? They wouldn't lie to their Alpha. I could bring someone in, but who? 

I racked my brain, thinking of everyone I had ever talked to in this pack, and I settled on Frankie, the friendly face who seemed to know me too well. 

"I'll be right back, don't move. . . Oh wait." I laughed at my own joke, and exited the room. Everyone was gathered in the chow hall, talking excitedly. 

I cleared my throat, and the room died down. 

"I need to borrow one of you, Frankie?" Everyone swiveled their head to the end of the table, where the blonde cautiously stood up. 

"Follow me, I have a few questions for you." We went to the room where the pack was held, and of course, they were exactly as I found them. 

"This is Frankie, he's going to be answering a few questions for us." 

He looked like he was about to piss his pants, but took a seat in front of me. 

"Frankie, do you recognize these people? Have you seen them before?"

"Yes. Only in pictures." He said. Ah ha, he knew I little more than he let on, and if he did, who else? 

"Tell me, the first time that you saw me, what happened?" I heard his heart rate pick up, he was extremely nervous. 

"Frankie, I am your Alpha now, Collin is dead. There are no secrets anymore, tell me the truth." 

He nodded, and took a deep breath. "When I first met you, Collin was keeping you in a cell while he did a job, I don't know what it was. He told me about his big plan, that you were perfect for him, for this pack." 

My heart stopped. "When I arrived, was I hurt?" 

"Yes, you had a big gash on your head, but I fixed it up." I nodded my head. This meant that either I hadn't healed, or I wasn't a werewolf. 

"Tell me, was I human?" This was the most important question. 

"Yes." I let out a breath I had been holding without knowing. 

"Thank you Frankie, you may join the rest of the pack now." 

He bowed his head, and left. 

"Well, it seems your story is starting to make more sense, but this doesn't change anything just yet." 

I didn't know what to do now. I contemplated it for a while, but I was ready to hear their story now. 

"Scott, tell me about my parents." I took a seat. 

"Um. . ." He stopped and shook his head. "Your mother was amazing, and beautiful. She loved to read, and always packed carrot sticks in your lunch. She loved you more than anything, would do anything for you. She. . ." He paused and swallowed. "She died from frontotemporal dementia, a condition that shrinks the brain and results in death." 

"So she's dead." I whispered. 

Scott nodded. "Your father is a great man. He's the sheriff of Beacon Hills, and he's been extremely worried about you. It's been hard since Claudia, but he's done a fantastic job." 

I nodded my head. I wanted to see him again, I wanted to see my mother, to see what they were like in person, if they really were so full of love like Scott said. 

"If you did take my memories away, why would take those?" I whispered to myself. 

I stood up, leaving without a word. I had an idea. 

Once inside the chow hall, all heads turned towards me once again. 

"Thank you for your patience. Can anyone tell me where I would find Jasper?" 

"Um. . . He's down in the basement, locked up. I can help you." Frankie said. 

"Thank you, I need a few others as well. I'm assuming he is down there because he is so violent, so I need to have him restrained." 

Several men stood up, and led me down to the basement. I walked downstairs, and saw cells. Frankie grabbed a key and opened one of the cells until I was able to see Jasper. 

He looked up, bloodied and skinny. 

"Hello Stiles." He croaked out. 

"Hello Jasper, I need you to come with me." With that, the men grabbed him and released him from the chains he was in that were connected to the cement wall, only to put him in more chains. The wolfsbane in them was visibly burning his skin. 

They took him back to the room, where they chained Jasper up on the opposite wall that the pack as on.

"I can handle it from here. Stay outside of the door so that you can take him back down when I'm finished." They left without another word.

"Jasper, I know you were very close to Collin, so tell me, what exactly was his plan for me?" I was hoping Jasper would cooperate.

"He keeps tabs on every supernatural creature, never humans, but he thought you were interesting, especially when you were the Nogitsune. You were smart, compassionate, but only to things you felt were deserving of compassion, hard headed, strong, mentally and well, he planned to fix the physical part. You were the perfect beta."

"So, when you all found me-"

"We didn't find you, he brought you in." 

Oh. "Okay, did he tell you his plan, to make me the ideal beta?" 

"Of course." He sneered. "Collin tells me everything." Clearly he was still hung up on Collin. 

"Then do tell." This was it, as long as Jasper told the truth. 

"He took you, after you wouldn't come on your own. He planned to take your memories of this pack," he motioned towards them. "So that all you would remember, or thought you remembered, was that Collin saved you from a bad pack who was hurting you. After that, he turned you, everything was set." I took in a jagged breath and sat down. 

"Okay, take him away." I called. 

"No! No!" Jasper yelled as they unchained him and dragged him out of the door.

I looked towards the chained pack, who seemed to be stunned. "Long story short, he was in love with Collin, Collin was in love with me, blah blah blah." I rolled my eyes. 

"Do you believe us now?" Liam asked. 

"Don't push it, I'm trying." I sighed and sat down again, clasping my hands together. 

"I'm trying to believe everything I'm hearing it's just. . . It's like hearing a scary story. My whole life is a lie, and I still don't know what's real." I hung my head. 

"We can help you Stiles, we're pack, it's what we do." Kira said. 

"Yeah, a pack with three Alphas, a banshee, a pup, and a fox? Real functional." Liam growled. 

"You all keep telling me that we're family but. . . I'm just having a hard time believing." But wait, if my memories could be taken away, surely they could be given back to me. 

"Can you give them back to me? My memories?" 

Everyone looked towards Derek. 

"I can try, but it's not going to be easy. The Alpha took away most of your life, it will take time, and it won't be painless." 

"I'll do anything, I just want to know the truth." 

"Then you can start with unchaining us." Lydia said. 

I nodded my head, and ripped of the patches of wires from everyone. Then I went through and unchained everyone, being especially careful with the wolves, as their chains were sunken in their skin due to the wolfsbane.

When I came to Derek, the last wolf, he didn't look me in the eyes. I started to take off the chains, causing him to lurch forward in pain. I put a hand on his chest to sturdy him, and it was like my hand was attached to those wires and got shocked. 

I ignored the feeling and looked towards the rest of the pack. They were all rubbing their wrists. 

"I. . . I don't exactly know what to do now." I said. 

"Come with us. Back to your home, to your dad." Scott said. 

"I want to but. . . What about this pack? These people are so used to having a commanding Alpha, to having strict rules and schedules. They're used to having authority, I don't know what to do. Not to mention I don't fully trust you yet. I. . . I believe you, though I shouldn't. I shouldn't believe anyone anymore, but I do."

"Tell them what happened, the truth. Maybe this isn't the first time something like this has happened." Kira said.

I nodded my head, and made my way out of the gloomy room, the pack following me close behind. 

When I entered the chow hall yet again, the room fell silent. 

"I'm sure many of you are curious as to why and how I came here. I recently found out the truth." I took a deep breath, and told them everything. After I was done, some just stared, some cried, and some talked with each other. 

"I still don't know everything, but what I do know is that I am not fit to be your Alpha. You all were in a pack full of secrets and lies, but you still became family." 

"I don't. . ." V started. "Collin said we were cousins, but I don't think that's true. I think. . . I think he lied to everyone." 

"If that is true, you don't have to live in fear anymore. Maybe you don't need an Alpha, maybe you can live freely as a pack without one. Or maybe, you can start your own life. Go back to school, or find your family, find a pack to join. You can live your own lives now, without someone telling you what to do and how to live. I can't take that role as your Alpha, you deserve more. You are free." 

A woman with tears running down her face spoke up. "I have dreamed of this moment for so long. I am free. Thank you Stiles Stilinski." 

Everyone started to thank me, and got down on their knees. Not because I was an Alpha, but because they were full of gratitude. 

"That being said, I need to go back to my life as well. I wish everyone the best of luck." I smiled. I turned back to the pack, my pack, and we walked out of Collin's mansion forever. I was finally free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh this is it! Stiles FINALLY knows who his real pack is and that Collin lied to him. I never thought this moment would come so soon, and yet it felt like it never would! I hope you continue to enjoy this story that you're excited for what is to come! :)


	25. Trust

As soon as we walked out of the mansion, I took in a deep breath of the cool air. 

I looked at all of them, the pack, no. . . my pack. They smiled, and turned to start running back to Beacon Hills, California. 

Lydia hopped onto the back of Scott, since she could not run as fast as the rest of us. 

Once I started running with them, I started to feel funny, but I shook it off as just being nervous. I shouldn't have. 

A searing pain shot through me, and I fell to the ground. My claws elongated, as did my sharp teeth. 

I let out a roar of pain. I didn't know what the hell was happening, until I realized what day it was. The full moon, and even worse, it was my first full moon. 

"Fuck!" I heard Scott say, a word he rarely used. 

I breathed heavily, trying to control the change. 

"What are we going to do?" Lydia shouted. I could hear her heart pounding quickly. 

"Stiles, control it, you must know how." Scott said frantically. 

I growled as the rest of my teeth poked through. "How the hell am I going to know how to control it? I've never shifted on a full moon!" I roared. 

Everyone looked stunned, and I had no idea why.

"That's impossible." Derek muttered. 

I stared at all of them through my red eyes. 

"You were gone for six. Fucking. Months." Derek growled. 

"Wha-" I started, before the worst pain came through. I roared out, as the last of the shift was finished. When I look up, panting, I didn't recognize anyone in front of me. 

"Okay. Okay." Scott quickly whispered. "Stiles, listen to me." 

I growled, and stood up. He was an Alpha, but so was I. I would not back down and I would not be challenged. 

"Stiles, we're your friends, we don't want to hurt you. And you don't want to hurt us." I cocked my head for a split second, before I tackled Scott down to the ground. 

I roared in his face, and scratched his arms that he put up to protect himself. He kicked me off of him and I landed with my back hitting a tree, hard. Once my spine cracked back into position, I stood up again, only to come forth an attack Liam, who was standing in front of Scott. 

I tackled him down, and ripped his chest open. He yelled out in pain, and I leaned down to grab his throat in my mouth. Before I could, someone ripped me off of him. 

I stood up again, and Kira had her sword out, ready to swing. I scoffed at her, and growled. 

I lunged forward, as if I was going to attack, but then dodged at the last minute and ran behind her. When she whirled around to face me, a grabbed the katana and threw it into the forest. 

I grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up. Once her feet are a foot off the ground, I threw her at a tree. She remained still once she landed, and I smiled. Scott and Lydia ran over to her. 

When I turned back, Malia tackled me down to the ground. I kicked her off of me, and crawled on top of her.

My left hand held her throat, and my right clawed her stomach. She screamed out, and Liam jumped onto my back, he was stupidly brave. 

I rolled my eyes, and throw him off too. 

I had my hand around his throat now, but he muttered out two words. 

"Y-your. . . Anchor." This made me pause, and I heard Scott walk behind me. I let go of Liam, and look toward him, hunched down and ready to attack. 

"Find your anchor Stiles. Anything, anyone, I know you have it in there." 

I looked behind me, but no one was there, the entire pack was in front of me now, I had no where to run.

I looked at everyone, but noticed one person was missing. I looked around, and saw he was almost out of sight, behind the rest of the pack. He was hanging his head low. I cocked my head to the side in confusion. 

Scott noticed where I was looking and turned towards Derek. Derek sensed my stare, and looked up at me. When he did, something warm passed over me. Like a fire, like I was surrounded by flames, but it didn't hurt. 

I didn't realize that I ran forward and was in front of him in less than a second, but soon I was standing in front of him.

With two simple words, it was all over miraculously. 

"Shift back." He whispered. I do, and once I was human, I dropped down to my knees. Everything that I had done washes over me. I hurt theses people, and yet, this one man was able to stop me from going further. All of these visions I had had of him, he helped me control everything, even on a full moon. 

"Are you okay?" Scott asked. 

I growled, but not at him, at myself. I stool up and turn towards him. I didn't notice I was crying until I felt something wet run down my cheek. 

"Am I okay? I practically killed you, all of you, and now you're asking if I'm okay? My whole life is a lie, and you're asking if I'm okay? I've been gone for six months, and you asking if I'm okay?" I was breathing heavily, and I felt myself about to change again, but I stopped when a hand was rested on my shoulder from behind me. 

"Lets just go home." Derek said quietly. He took his hand off. 

I wiped the tears from my eyes furiously, and watched as everyone followed Derek after picking up their large backpacks.

I still stood there, debating. I didn't know exactly what I was debating though. I knew I should leave, my whole life was waiting for me, I had nothing here. 

I sighed, and followed after them. 

It was a long run, and I wondered where exactly I was all this time. After several hours, the pack stopped. 

"We need to rest, and eat. We can pick up in the morning." Scott said. 

I frowned, I wanted to continue, but I nodded. They unpacked, taking out blankets. 

I didn't want to stay, and I noticed I was hungry, so I walked off to hunt. 

I found a small meadow, and spotted three deer. I smirked, and ran forward to take one down. Snapping its neck quickly, I hopped up to take down another before it got to far. I killed that one quickly as well, but I had fun with the last one. 

I chased it down, and jumped in front of it, making the deer skid to a stop. Surprisingly, it stared for a few moments, and I saw the fear in its large black eyes. Then, as expected, it took off, and I tackled it down to the ground after it got a few feet. 

I threw back my head and then bit down on it's neck, ripping it open. I stuck my hand it its body and ripped out it's heart. 

I pulled back and dropped the heart, then looked at my masterpiece. 

I threw the deer over my shoulder, then grabbed the other two and carried them back by the neck, one per hand. 

When I returned back to the little camp, everyone stops and stared at me. Kira stopped chewing her fruit snacks mid chew.

"I brought supper." I smiled proudly. 

"Um. . . Thanks Stiles. Just uh. . . Lay those over here, and I'll take care of them while you go clean up." Scott said after a few moments, the others were frozen.

I frowned. What did he mean take care of them? They were ready to eat already. 

"Clean up?" I asked. Scott looked at Derek, who looked up from the fire and gave Scott a look. He sighed, and got up. 

"Come on." I frowned again, but followed him.

He led me to a small creek and stood in front of it. I stood still. 

"What are you waiting for?" He asked. 

I look to my right and to my left. I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Stiles, you're covered in blood and deer guts." I looked down at my torso, and saw that was true. 

"Oh. Well yeah, but, who cares? We're all going to get bloody when we eat." 

Something seemed to register, and he stopped looking so angry. 

"Stiles, we cook the meat, and typically we don't hunt for it. We appreciate what you did though." 

I nodded. I forgot there where humans around, or at least people with human appetites, and this pack probably wasn't accustom to eating raw food. 

I nodded. "So I should wash off." 

"Yes." He said. 

I walked forward and took off my shirt, there was no hope for it, so I tossed it to the side. I squatted down in front of the water, and dipped my hand in. Once it was wet, I touch my torso with it. 

Derek huffed. "Like this." He pushed me down until I was on my knees, and scooped up water. He pressed his hand onto my chest and started scrubbing. I flinched at the cold water but let him continue, as his hand made the process better. He was blazingly hot. He continued the process until my torso was mostly clean. 

He scooped up water again, but paused. After a moment, he continued, and rested his hand on my face, cleaning it as well. 

I noticed he tried not to look into my eyes, but I never stopped looking at him. 

"It's strange to see you in person." I said. He stopped with his hand on my cheek. 

"What do you mean?" He continued washing. 

I decided I didn't want to tell him about the visions. 

"Nothing." This time I looked down, and stayed that way, until his finger brushed over my lip, causing a spark to go through me. Derek must have noticed, and took his hand away immediately. 

"I think we're done here." He stood up and walked away quickly, not saying anything else. 

I furrowed my brow, but walked back to camp.

Once I came back, I noticed meat cooking over the fire, with Scott and Lydia moving it around. 

Everyone looked up at me, as if I was part of a museum and worth millions of dollars. I didn't think I would ever understand why they looked at me this way. 

Scott got up and dug around in a bag before producing a long sleeve black shirt, and handed it to me. 

I grabbed it, and heard a faint growl. When I looked over, I saw it was Derek, but he looked down quickly and continued with what he was doing as if he never did it. 

I slip on the shirt, and understood why he growled, this was his shirt.

Scott handed me a plate with cooked deer, fruit snacks, and nuts on it, but I only ate the meat. 

Dinner was silent, I didn't think anyone knew what to say. Everyone looked to Scott, and he sucked in a breath before trying to start a conversation with me. 

"Your father will be happy to see you." I stopped chewing. I blinked a couple of times, then continued eating, never looking up at Scott or the rest of the pack. 

Scott cleared his throat. "I bet it will be nice to see your room again. And play some video games." He chuckled. I said nothing and continued eating. 

"Seems like you've gotten stronger, bet lacrosse is going to be even better this year!" He said. I got fed up, and threw my food down, standing up. 

"Would you stop trying to make small talk? It's not working. I don't want to talk about my old life, I don't even know what's real. For all I know, I could have just killed my best shot at a normal life. I could be staying with the true murderers. Until I get my memories back, I don't trust you, so don't think we're all of a sudden best friends again. I don't trust anyone." I walked away further into the woods, until I couldn't hear the sound of the crackling fire, unless I tried hard enough, which I didn't try to do. 

I sat on a large rock and stared up at the sky. My life had truly gone to shit. I knew that I had to trust someone in order to get answers, but it was hard. 

I stayed on the rock looking at the stars and the moon for several hours. I focused back at camp, and heard everyone was sleeping except for two.

"Will it ever get better?" Scott said.

"I don't know. But I don't think much will change until we give him back his memories, something I'm not even sure I can do." 

"It's not like we can trust Peter, you're our best shot." Derek didn't say anything.

Peter? I wondered what Scott meant by we couldn't trust him. It was obvious that he wasn't trust worthy, but I wondered what their side of the story was. 

"Go to sleep Scott, you need rest." Derek said. I heard Scott shift around, and after a few minutes, his breathing and heart rate slowed, indicating he was asleep.

I headed back to camp, figuring one person shouldn't be too much to handle. Derek looked up at me when I walked forward. 

"I get it you know, how you don't want to trust anyone. I went through the same thing." Derek said quietly, when I refuse to talk.

I walked closer and took a seat several feet away from Derek on a log. "What do you mean?" 

"Right." He nodded. I was assuming he was referring to how I didn't remember this story. 

"I dated this girl in high school, Kate. Everyone said I shouldn't, she was bad, but I guess that's what drew me to her." He sighed. "I thought I was in love. She got me, truly got me, but I guess that's because she knew more about me than I thought." He looked down and played with a piece of grass. 

"I was going to tell her about me, I thought she deserved to know. I looked for her at school, so I could invite her to dinner, but she wasn't there. I figured she was just sick or something." He paused. "Later, me and Laura got called to the principles, he told us. . . He told us there was a fire, it killed everyone." His voice became angry. "Everyone. I wanted to run to her, for her to comfort me, but then I found out it was her. It was her all along. She was a hunter, and she killed my family. I couldn't prove it was her either, I had nothing, especially after Laura. . . Well that's another story." Derek looked up at me. "So the point is, I had trouble trusting people after that. I didn't trust anyone for six years, until you and Scott came along. You changed everything."

God how I wished I remembered these things, now more than ever. 

"You should get some sleep." Derek said quietly. 

"I don't think I can." I whispered. 

He nodded. "I get that too." 

We stayed up the rest of the night in silence, then watched the sunrise. I felt a overwhelming sense of peace, watching the sunrise and then looking back at the pack. I knew I should have be more careful, not let these feelings get in the way, but I couldn't help wanting to trust these people. These people, who truly seem like pack. 

Everyone started to wake up when the sun hit their eyelids, so I stood and started to help pack, even though I didn't know where anything went, and was probably just making everything worse, but I needed something to do to keep my mind occupied. 

"Morning." Scott said. His hair was tousled everywhere, and his eyes were small. Now more than ever it showed that he was still a kid. 

I knew that him and the rest of the pack were trying, so I tried to do my best too. 

"Hey." He smiled, just because I actually said something back to him that wasn't rude. He walked off, giving me space, but I stopped him. Like I said, I was trying. 

"Hey Scott?" He turned to face me. "How long until we are back in Beacon Hills?" 

"A day or so, we can travel pretty fast, but you were pretty far away." 

"How far away?" 

"North Carolina." 

"Holy shit." 

He laughed. "Yeah exactly. But if we start moving, we can get home soon." 

I nodded, and followed after him. I couldn't wait to get my memories back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO'S PUMPED FOR TEEN WOLF TONIGHT?! 
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter!


	26. Beacon Hills

We had been traveling for what felt like forever, and I had to refrain myself from asking are we there yet? As if I was a child. 

Suddenly, Scott and the rest of the pack stopped and looked at me.

I listened closely, and heard the sounds of a highway, I knew we must have been near Beacon Hills.

"We're almost here." Scott said, as if he was announcing, but I knew he was curious as to how I would react. Even without my werewolf abilities, Scott was very easy to read.

"Then lets go." I said. We started walking again, and I followed a little further back than the rest of the pack.

Once we arrived fully in town, I started to look around. I saw a hospital, that place seamed familiar. 

I started to wonder where exactly we were going. 

"Is anything coming back to you?" Lydia asked. She was trying to understand this whole memory thing.

"No." I responded. Sure, some things might have seemed familiar, but that was not hard evidence for me. Hospital were all the same, unnaturally white, cold, and they always smelled like cleaning utensils. 

Soon we were standing by a veterinary office.

"Look I know I'm a wolf, but I feel a vet is a little unnecessary." I said. 

Scott smiled at my joke. "Deaton isn't just a vet, he knows about us and a whole lot about other supernatural things."

"So why am I here?"

Scott paused. "We want him to take a look at you, and you can tell him anything you want, we're thinking maybe he can tell us new information."

"So you want me examined." I said, not amused at all. 

Scott had a blank face, as if he didn't know what to do. I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, walking into the clinic. 

When I did, a bell rings, and it startled me, making me whip around and look up. Once I realized what it is, I turned back and saw a dark skinned man. 

"Hello Stiles, it's nice to see you again."

"More like nice to meet you." I muttered. 

Deaton looked puzzled at my remark, but seemed to shake it off. 

"Follow me." He said, walking back further into the clinic. We entered a room with a large metal table, and several tools. 

"If you'll just take a seat, I'll be right back, I need to talk with Scott." Deaton motioned towards the metal table behind me, but I didn't sit. 

Scott and Deaton walked out of the room, and I listened in only for a short moment before I was interrupted, but I did hear Scott tell him what had been going on. 

"He's not going to hurt you. Deaton can be. . . Strange, but he won't harm you." Kira spoke up. 

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "I'm not worried about the bunny doctor." I said sarcastically. 

Deaton walked back in the room with Scott. 

"What's up doc?" I said to Deaton. He didn't seem to think my comment was funny, though the man didn't seem like he laughed at much. 

"Tell me, do you remember anything from before you were with the Worth pack?" 

Apparently he also wasn't one for warming up into conversations, no small talk.

"Sure, my dad beating me, Scott beating me, Derek beating me. I remember things, images, but apparently according to you lot, they aren't real."

"I see." Deaton murmured. "Stiles I want to preform a series of tests, and ask some more questions." 

I had no idea what this man meant by tests, but I wasn't scared, and quite frankly I just wanted to get this over with. 

I hopped up on the metal table. 

"Please remove your shirt." Deaton spoke. 

I gripped the bottom of the black long sleeve Scott handed to me last night, and tugged it over my head. 

"I see your wounds have healed." Deaton spoke. 

"There weren't too many." 

"That's not what I heard." Deaton murmured. 

Deaton came forward with a flashlight and shined it in my eyes, surprising me and making my eyes turn red, though maybe that was his intention. 

"Definitely an Alpha." 

Deaton grabbed a scalpel, and I glared. 

"I assure you this won't hurt much, I am only checking how quickly your healing works." 

I nodded, and stuck out my hand. I didn't why I trusted this man, he could have slit my throat and this would have all been over. 

He gently pressed down onto my skin with the small silver tool and cut my skin. Small drops of blood eked out, but the wound healed rapidly, and the drops were the only evidence there ever was a cut. 

"How were you bit Stiles?" Deaton asked. 

"I don't know." I returned. 

"So is is possible that you weren't bit?" Deaton asked. 

"Of course I was bit, I'm a werewolf." I said, speaking slowly and looking at Deaton as if he was crazy. 

"Hop up." He said, and I did as he says. 

"Deaton, I'm fairly certain he was bit, not created." Scott said. 

Created? What did he mean created?

Deaton walked behind me, but I paid attention to him so he wouldn't stab me in the back or something. 

"You have grown very strong I see, and have gotten some new ink, interesting. You heal very well. Can you describe your experience when you discovered you were a werewolf? Start from the beginning please." 

"You've already heard it all."

"Perhaps, but I would like to hear your version." 

All of the wolves looked at me, waiting for my story. 

"I woke up with blood on my neck and body, Collin told me what happened. I wasn't welcomed at first, and I was weak, but I wanted to prove myself, and I quickly became strong." I smiled at myself. "There were fights, battles, and I won all of them. I exceeded most records, and I quickly became Collin's perfect little beta."

"Scott told me you had not experienced a full moon, but you were gone for six months, how is that?"

"Good question. I only remember being gone for. . . A month? Maybe? That's one of the reasons I wanted my memories back."

Deaton was still walking around me, poking and prodding. 

"And who do you expect to do this?" I looked around, but didn't see him anywhere to be found. 

"Derek, he can do it." 

Deaton hummed, and stopped what he was doing. 

"You trust him?"

"I don't think I have a choice."

"How have you felt since you came back?" Deaton asked. Now we were getting to the actual doctor questions it seemed. 

"Fine, normal." I said, a generic answer. 

"Have you-" The vet started. 

"Deaton." Scott snapped, seeming to warn Deaton. He glared, not mad, but a look that made Deaton stop what he was saying, a warning.

"I think that's all for today, if you have any problems or questions you can let me know. You're perfectly fine." Deaton said.

Scott nodded, and I put back on the shirt. 

"Where to now?" I asked, as we walked out of the clinic. 

"I don't really know. When we went to find you, we didn't know how you were going to be, or what would happen. I figured you would want to see your dad, and that you would stay there, but now obviously you don't so. . ." Scott trailed off.

"Well I'm starving, is there any place to eat around here?"

"Yeah of course. We can pick up some curly fries." Scott grinned, though I didn't see what made him so pleased.

We walked to a small diner, and when we arrived, Scott stopped me from walking further. 

"You have to understand, you've been gone for six months, and if you don't want your dad knowing you're here, you can't be seen. It's a small town, everyone knows everyone. Stay here. I'll grab some food, and we can head to Derek's." Scott, Lydia, and Kira went inside, while I stayed outside with Liam. 

I looked around for Derek, but he was no where to be found. Of all of the pack, he seemed the least welcoming, and yet I was intrigued by him the most.

Soon enough they all came out with several bags off food, and Scott handed his to Liam.

He walked off, pulling out his cell phone and I listened in.

"Where the hell are you?" Scott asked. From where he was, I couldn't hear the response from whoever he was talking to. 

"Well we're going to your place. . . Because it's the only place we can! . . . Fine. Pick us up." Scott ended the call, and I looked towards the rest of the pack, who were patiently waiting for whoever was coming. 

"Derek's house isn't real close, and I figure you're as tired as the rest of us, so Derek's picking us up."

Just as Scott said this, a silver car pulled up. That was fast. 

Everyone got inside, while I stood waiting, not knowing if I should get in, and if I did, where to sit.

Scott was the last one to get in, besides me, and he looked back to where I was standing. 

"You get shotgun." 

That clarified where I would sit, so I opened up the door and climbed in, not even looking at Derek. The pack made small talk with each other, but I stayed silent the whole way. 

Soon, I saw a large building, and I figured this was Derek's home when we stopped and everyone got out. 

After a short walk up a flight of stairs, we came to a large door in which Derek ripped open. I was faced with a large open space, the only thing occupying it was a desk towards the back of the room, a couch towards the middle with a coffee table in front of it, and a bed rested against a wall. I also saw a round staircase. 

The pack veered off to the right, into a small kitchen. They grabbed plates, and started laying out food onto the plates. 

Lydia grabbed two, and walked towards me. Smiling she held out the plate, and I grabbed it slowly. Everyone walked towards the couch and piled on and around it, while I stood, unsure of what to do. 

"What was the Alpha like?" Liam asked. Scott glared at him, and Lydia smacked him on the back of the head. 

I looked down at my food, not answering. The pack was about to give up, thinking I was not going to speak, when I do. 

"Powerful. Everyone did what he said. On the outside, he didn't seem frightening. Strong, sure, but not scary." 

I set my food down, no longer feeling hungry. 

"The pack?" This time Scott asked.

"Everyone was fierce, no one was weak. They were ranked, from weakest to strongest, that's how you sat at the dinner table. I sat right next to Collin, taking Jasper's seat. He wasn't very happy when I did, but I was the perfect beta." I walk closer to the pack. 

"Collin rated people on how good they were at certain things, such as strength or the best fighters. He had five main guys, one who was the best fighter, so he specialized in that area, one for direction & leadership, someone who would make a good Alpha, medical and first aid, someone for full moons, they could control the change the most and know how to handle full moons, and lastly one for specific tasks and jobs that Collin gave, but there was also one other person. An overall, sort of like a right hand man. Jasper was Collin's until I came in. Jasper didn't posses all five qualities, but was the closest, I suspect he was lacking direction and leadership. I took his spot, and possessed all qualities."

"So that's why he said you were the perfect beta, that's why he turned you." Derek said, gritting his teeth. "He turned you so he could have the perfect beta, to be his little bitch." 

I growled low in my throat. "I wasn't his bitch." 

I looked at the pack, who were all staring up at me. I was so fed up with everything, with everyone. 

"Fine. You want to know the rest, and I want to know the truth, so lets find out." 

I grabbed a metal chair, and slung my leg over it, straddling it, gripping the back of the chair, which was in my front. 

"C'mon." I snapped, impatient. 

". . .I don't know if I can." Derek whispered. 

"What?" I yelled. I stood up quickly. "I just left my pack, killed my Alpha, and followed you all the way here because you could tell me the truth, and now you're saying you can't?" I yelled.

"I've never done this before, only witnessed it, but I can try." Derek sighed. 

"Yeah and what happens if you do something wrong?"

Derek didn't answer. 

I took a seat again. "Guess I'm willing to risk it." I muttered out. 

"Stiles, are you sure?" Scott asked. 

"Yes." I said. "Don't pretend like you don't want this as much as I do." 

Derek walked behind me, and rested his hand on my neck. His hand was warm, and his touch seems to comfort me. Just as I was getting relaxed, his claws plunged into my neck. I seized up, and gripped his hand at my neck, though I didn't try to take it out. 

I couldn't see anything through my eyes, everything was black until something popped up, like I was watching a movie. 

I was sitting at a wooden table, looking up at a teacher. I was in a classroom. 

"Dude!" A young boy whispered. He had black curly hair, a pudgy face, and was missing a tooth. Scott.

"My mom packed an extra Twinkie!" He said, slurring his words. 

I smiled, but soon his face flowed away, and I was in a police station. 

"Hey kiddo. Ready to go home?" My father walked in, though his frown lines were less noticeable now. I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulder, as we walked outside. 

I was in a hospital now, and a saw a pale fragile looking woman. I gripped her hand, and she smiled faintly. 

"I love you, I'll always be with you." The woman coughed, closing her eyes, then opened them. 

"Who are you?" She asked. I started to cry, and she violently started to cough. Doctors rushed in, and started to pull me away from her. I screamed, and kicked, begging them not to take me away. One of the doctors moved slightly, and I could see my still mother's still frame. My dear mother. 

Suddenly, I was in Derek's place again, and I can feel my neck throbbing. I sucked in a huge breath as soon as his claws were out. 

"Are you okay?" Scott asked. I didn't move or say anything. What I just saw, those must have been memories. I turned and looked towards Derek, who seemed pale. 

I got up slowly, and started to walk. 

"Stiles? Hey! Are you okay?" I didn't answer any of them, and took a seat on Derek's bed, burying my head in my hands. I didn't necessarily feel sad, but I felt like I should be. I just didn't feel normal. 

"Derek what happened?" Scott asked.

Derek swallows thickly and sucked in a deep breath. "He just saw his mother pass away, we both did." Everything was silent after that, or maybe I just shut everything out. 

Those memories didn't answer anything, and yet they did. This proved me and Scott once were best friends, that my dad wasn't always abusive, and that my mother truly was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took a while, my internet went out, and today was the first day it worked, so I rushed to make a chapter! Hope you guys liked it, let me know what you think!


	27. Subconscious

I didn't move for a while, processing what just happened. I didn't hear the pack whispering anymore, and I opened my eyes, looking up. They were all sitting, watching me.

"Look I'm not going to go on a rampage and kill everything in sight, you can relax."

Their posture didn't change.

"I. . . " I began. "How long will this take? I didn't see anything about the pack."

"I don't know." Derek said. "You have to keep in mind that even if I can access those exact memories, not everything is going to make sense afterwards, you're still going to be missing half of your life." 

I stood up and turned towards the large window, crossing my arms.

"Is there anything faster?"

"Maybe." Scott said. I turned towards him. 

"It's something we did with Isaac." I dismissed the name as I had no idea who he was. 

"He had some of his memories taken away by an Alpha pack." Derek said.

"Alpha pack?" I asked. How does that even work?

"Never mind that." Lydia said.

"Well whatever it is, I want to try it." 

"We haven't even told you what it is."  
Scott looked to Derek, who was looking at the ground, arms crossed. 

"Alright, we'll start in the morning. I'm assuming you won't want to stay at your dad's so you can stay over here." Scott said.

"Or I can get a room at a hotel. . ." I said.

Scott opened his mouth, then closed it. 

"Right, I'm on house arrest." I said, sighing, and crossing my arms. 

"We'll see you in the morning." Kira said. The pack made their way out, and the door slammed shut loudly. All that was left was Derek. 

"Look I can get a hotel if you want-"

"You're fine." Derek said. I nodded, biting my lip.

"Can I shower?" I asked. I sure I didn't smell too fresh, and I wanted to try to wipe the memories of these past few days away, the memories that I knew were real, the bad ones.

"Yeah it's upstairs." Derek said. I thanked him, and made my way to the bathroom. When there, I quickly turned on the water until it was steaming hot. 

I stripped my clothes, and made my way under the hot spray. I hissed at first, but then let the hot water relax my tense muscles.

I heard the door click, and footsteps walking in.

Derek opened the shower door, and stepped in, naked. He stood behind me and wrapped his hand around my chest, and pulled me in close.

I shook my head, and rested it on the wall. I couldn't imagine stuff like that. 

I started to wash, and then once done spent far too long underneath the hot spray. 

What was it about Derek? I felt drawn to him, and even when I hated this pack, when I could barely even picture their face as it wasn't clear, his came through my mind perfectly. 

It stopped me from doing bad things, and yet it made me want to kill him. 

I turned off the water, and stepped out. I looked underneath the sink, and found black towels. I dried myself off and then wrapped it around my waist. 

With my hair dripping wet, I walked out of the bathroom, hoping I could borrow some clothes as I didn't want to put on my dirty ones. 

I walked towards Derek's room and saw him sitting on the bed, head in hands. He snapped his head up when he heard me approaching.

"Uh. Can I borrow some clothes or something?" I asked shyly. 

"Yeah of course, sorry." He stood up and walked towards the dresser. He grabbed black sweatpants and a dark grey t-shirt and handed them to me. 

"Sorry they'll probably be a little-" Derek started.

I dropped my towel and started to tug on the sweatpants. I could feel his gaze raking over me.

". . . Big." 

After pulling on the pants, I tugged on the shirt, and it was a almost a perfect fit, only a little large in the shoulder area. Clearly I had bulked up, since when I last talked to Derek. 

Derek scratched the back of his head, ears turning pink. 

"Thanks." I said.

He cleared his throat. "No problem." 

I stood there awkwardly, waiting for him to tell me what was next. 

"Um. It's only around 8:00, so we can uh watch a movie. . . Or something."

I smirked, he clearly felt just as awkward as I did. 

"That's alright, I'll just tuck in, unless you want to watch TV on the couch."

"No, but uh. You don't have to take the couch, I have two beds. I'll take the one downstairs."

"It's fine, the couch will suffice." I said, walking downstairs.

"Stiles, just quit arguing. You want to take the downstairs bed, fine, but you're not sleeping on my hard ass couch." He said, as we walked down the stairs. Once we reach the bottom, I turned to him sharply, startling him.

"Fine." I turned again and sat on the bed, Derek didn't move from where he was standing at the base of the stairs. 

"Um. So. . . Goodnight." He turned and started to walk up the stairs when I stopped him. 

"Derek?"

"Yeah?"

"What do they plan on doing tomorrow?"

He walked down the stairs again, and leaned against the side of the large desk. 

"It's this thing we had to do a while back with someone in our pack. Basically we fill up a large tub with ice, and wait until. . . Well basically until you pass out from the cold. We then access your subconsciousness, and we can ask you questions. You'll search through your mind, and hopefully find them."

I frowned, the whole thing didn't seem like it would work, but I was willing to give it a shot. 

"How are you going to access my subconsciousness?" 

Derek swallowed. "I'll do that part, I'll be asking the questions. I don't really know how it works, but we're willing to try as long as you are."

I nodded. "Feel free to ask whatever, I don't really have anything to hide, or at least I don't think I do." I snorted. "But. . . Do you think I can make a list or something? Of questions I mean."

"Of course. I don't know how info much we will get, but we can try the ice bath and keep doing what we are doing on top of that." 

I nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

"No problem. Goodnight Stiles."

"Goodnight Derek." I bit my lip. I was not ready to go to sleep yet. 

"Hey Derek?" I asked yet again, making him turn and raise a brow. 

"Never mind." I looked at my feet.

"Terminator?" He asked. I grinned and nodded, and we moved to the couch. He popped in the movie, and sat down close to me. Our knees touched, but neither of us moved. For some reason I happened to like the contact. 

We watched the movie in silence, though I found myself not paying attention to it, only to him. I listened to his soft breathing, his heart beat, and the blood flowing through his veins. I could feel the heat radiating off of him, and I had the strong urge to touch him. I crossed my arms, and Derek glanced at me.

I tried to pay attention, but found myself looking at Derek once again. He was gripping his pants in a fist, knuckles white. 

We stayed like this for the whole movie, rigid and never moving. 

When the movie ended, I exhaled a sigh of relief, and Derek stood quickly, going to his bedroom without another word. 

"Well goodnight. . ."I said, even after he left.

I sucked in a shaky breath, and crawled into the warm bed. Derek's scent engulfed me, and I moaned. This was easily the best thing I had ever smelt. I wondered why I hadn't noticed it before, especially because I was wearing his t-shirt, but I think it was because I was never engulfed in just him. He was always with the pack, and his shirt was with the other's.

I sat up, trying to distract myself by finding a piece of paper and a pen and jotting down the questions I wanted answered tomorrow. 

I wrote down a few, but I was exhausted, and his scent wasn't going away, so I laid down again. 

I gripped the sheets, and breathed in his scent. My eyes turned red, and I wanted him in this bed with me. I fully shifted, without meaning to, and got out of bed. I didn't seem to know what I was doing, only following my instincts, but I climbed the stairs and stood in the doorway of Derek's room, which was left open. 

He rolled over and looked at me, shirt off and hair disheveled. 

"Stiles?"

I didn't say anything, and I didn't move, almost as if I was sleep walking.

"Are you okay?"

I walked into his room, and took in a deep breath. His scent was so unfamiliar, and yet I couldn't get enough. 

"Come here." He said, and I walked closer cautiously, then crawled into bed with him. His scent was even stronger here, and I moaned again, not even in my right mind to be embarrassed. He didn't touch me, like I seemed to want him to, and I closed my eyes. 

I didn't even know that I fell asleep until I woke to a stream of the sun shining in my eyes.

When I woke, I was disoriented, but quickly realized where I was when I noticed the warm arm draped across my side. 

I cringed and slapped a hand on my forehead, remembering what all I had done yesterday. I had to get out of this bed. 

I looked over at Derek, who was sleeping soundly. I grabbed his finger, and slowly pulled his arm off of me by his pointer finger. When I was free, I got up as quietly as I could, and made my way downstairs.

I didn't know what else to do, as the sun had barely peeked the horizon, so I started to do what I would at Collin's mansion, I worked out.

I started with push ups, then removed my shirt as I was already hot. I then returned to doing clap push ups, then diamond, then one handed. 

Once done, I hoped up and gripped the top of the kitchen doorway, then proceeded to do pull ups and chin ups. 

I pulled myself up to where my chin was over the frame of the door, then stopped when I heard something. 

"Sorry, didn't mean to disrupt." Derek said. I hopped down, and turned to face him, but I see he was on the ground, doing push ups as well. 

"Did I inspire you?" I asked, sarcastically. 

He looked up and scoffed. "Please. I do this everyday, you interrupted my morning routine." 

"Oh did I? My deepest apologies. Well if you do this everyday like you say you do, how about a little friendly competition?"

Derek hopped up into a squat position, as if he was about to catch a baseball. 

"I'm listening." 

"We'll do something easy, don't want to hurt you. Lets see who can do push ups the longest." I said.

Derek smirked. "Alright, one handed push ups, let's make this interesting." 

"You've got a deal." I smirked.

I walked forward and grabbed his hand to shake it, and electricity seemed to shoot through my hand, but I didn't let go until I gave one firm shake. 

We both dropped down, and I looked up at him.

"Go." With that, we began our push ups, and seemed to keep the same rhythm.

The door clicked, and we both looked at each other, seeing if either of us was going to stop. Neither of us did.

The door swung open, but we still kept our gaze locked.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Scott asked.

"What does it look like genius?" I asked.

"Well cut it out, we've got to go before all the ice melts."

"Not before I kick grandpa's ass." I smirked.

"First off, I'm twenty four, only six years older than you, and second, you're going down junior."

I laughed, but didn't stop.

"Guys." Liam whined. 

"Doesn't look like they're willing to settle at a truce." Lydia said, rolling her eyes.

"Alright, well I'm declaring the winner." With that, Scott walked over without thinking, nudged me, and made me lose my balance. 

I roared and tackled him down to the ground, not because I lost, I guess I just snapped. I hadn't learned to control the shift yet, and he seemed to have challenged me.

He was on his back with me holding him down, and I roared at him, making his eyes turn red, though I was sure he didn't mean for them to.

I roared again, louder, and I saw Liam fall to his knees. 

"Are you challenging me?"

Scott closed his eyes and when he opened them they were back to normal.

"No. I'm sorry." Scott said. I believed him, but I still felt like I shouldn't just get off of him and forgive him.

"Stiles." Derek said, resting a hand on my back.

The same volts shot through me, and I got up quickly. 

"Lets go." I said, grabbing my shirt and walking out the door without another glance back.

I leaned on the car, waiting for everyone to get here. When they arrived, all of us got in except for Kira and Scott, who rode the motorcycle. 

Seeing them strikes a memory for me, and I gripped the console in between Derek and I. 

I saw a garage, with a black motorcycle in it. I was young, and I saw my father cover it up. 

"Why are you putting your motorcycle away daddy?"

"Doesn't have the same thrill anymore." I saw tears whelp in his eyes, before I was snapped back to reality.

"Stiles? Hey." Derek said.

"I just remembered something." I whispered.

"What was it?" Lydia asked.

"Nothing important. I saw my dad covering up a motorcycle in the garage. He said it didn't have the same thrill, and he looked sad."

"Your father used to ride a motorcycle all the time before Claudia passed away." Lydia said. That's why he looked so sad. 

I nodded, and we took off towards the veterinary clinic. The ride was quick, and silent, not even the radio was on.

When we arrived, I got out quickly. 

"Ready?" Scott asked, reaching out to lay a hand on my shoulder, but then pulling back after thinking about it.

"Yeah."

"Hello Stiles." Deaton greeted me as I walked in. I gave him a sharp nod, and everyone started grabbing bags of ice, filling up the huge metal tub that was typically used for horse's water. 

Once all the bags were emptied, everyone looked at me.

"Do I. . . What do I do?" I asked.

"Get in."

I took in a deep breath, and stripped my shirt, Derek's shirt. At least that would be dry when I got out. 

I skeptically put one leg in, gripping the sides, and sharp needles plunged into me. I got in quickly after that, and felt Derek's, Scott's, and Liam's hands on me.

"Don't be afraid, we need to access your subconscious, Derek will be doing that." Deaton said.

With that, they plunged me in the water. I fought, and came towards the surface, but they pushed me back down again. I was swallowing water, and I couldn't breathe. I felt blackness coming close, and I couldn't fight anymore, my limbs were too frozen.

I didn't feel anything anymore, but I rose to the surface of the water when the guys let go. 

"Can you hear me Stiles?" Deaton asked me, though it was not truly me, it was my subconscious.

"Yes."

"We're going to ask you a few questions." 

Derek stepped closer to me, though I didn't lock eyes with anyone, I only stared up at the ceiling.

"How did you come to the Worth mansion?" Derek asked.

I shook my head, and curled my hands around nothing. 

"It's okay, Stiles calm down. Reach in your mind, find the memory." Deaton said.

"A rock. He hit me."

"Collin hit you with a rock?" Scott asked, furious.

"Dragged me there."

"What did you do when you got there?" Derek asked, clearly mad.

"A cell. And a man. He helped me." I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again.

"The Alpha told me about the pack." I started to thrash, seeing what was next.

"No! Don't! Please don't!" Scott and Derek gripped my arms.

"Stiles you're okay!" Scott said.

"My neck, you bit my neck!"

Scott looked at Derek. "That's when Collin bit him."

I calmed down, and they let go again.

"He took them away. Everything I knew. . . Another cell, and a man. He didn't like me. . . Bedroom. . . I fall asleep and. . ."

"And what Stiles?" Derek asked.

"Needle."

"Needle? What needle?"

"Ropes. They're burning me! Cut me down!"

I'm thrashing once again.

"What is he doing to you Stiles?" Deaton asked.

"He's hurting me! Stop."

"How is he hurting you?"

"Claws, teeth, electricity. . . Whips, cattle prod, knife. . ." I finally calmed down.

"He injected me again. It made me sick. Throwing up black."

"Wolfsbane. He injected him with so much to make him weak that it stopped him from shifting, almost killing him." Deaton said. 

"He took those too, I don't remember." I whispered.

"Think Stiles." Derek commanded.

"He's special. He helps me, I think I love him." I whispered. The room got quiet, and Derek gripped the bucket hard, bending the metal.

"But I'm smart, I know you lied. I killed you, I killed you. I'm free." 

"That's right Stiles, you're free." Deaton's said. He leaned close, and whispered to Derek. "I'm going to try something."

"Stiles, I want you to remove the wall Collin has put up. Let your mind leak out, and let all the memories come in."

I cringed. "It hurts."

"I know, but you're free, so let all the memories comes back." 

I whimper in pain. My head is pounding. I feel like it is cracking open. 

"Now, close your eyes, and wake up."

I did as he said, and stayed quiet, until my mind seemed to come through, and I felt the freezing cold water. I snapped up, roaring. I got out of the tub, and Deaton handed me a towel. 

I could feel my eyes were still shifted red, they wouldn't change back. 

"Are you okay?" Deaton asked. 

I didn't answer, I was awestruck by what just happened. I no longer felt like I was just listening to a scary story, or as if I watched a movie as a child, but couldn't remember most of it. 

"I remember."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had such a bad time writing this, and I don't know why... Let me know what you think! :)


	28. Confessions

"I remember, I remember everything." I whispered. 

"Are you sure? I mean how can you suddenly just remember everything?" Liam asked.

"I don't know." I shook my head, and turned towards Scott. I needed to make sure everyone believed that I truly did have all of my memories back. 

"In the first grade, you had a really bad asthma attack. I helped you through it, and gave you a Twinkie afterwards." I turned towards each person in the pack, and said something only the two of us would know.

"Kira, you came to our table when you moved here, and helped us. You were the first kitsune we had ever seen or heard of. Lydia, I've had a crush on you since the third grade, and you've dated Jackson Whittmore since the ninth grade. The key you gave him brought him back, when he was the kanima. Liam, you were Scott's first beta, he bit you on the arm when you were dangling from an edge, saving your life. Malia, you got in a bad car crash, and remained shifted for years, as a coyote. Derek, your family burned in a fire, caused by Kate. You saw us looking for Scott's inhaler, and told us we were on private property. I also punched you in the face." 

They all laughed. "You do remember." Scott said. 

I nodded, then winced. I was glad I got all of these memories back, but that also meant I remembered everything Collin did to me. 

"Can I go see my dad?" I asked. Before I didn't want to see him, thinking he was abusive, and a total asshole, but now, I couldn't wait to just have him in my arms again after six months. 

"Of course, Derek will take you there. I'm sure you don't want us all coming." 

I started to walk out, but then turned and said, "Thank you Deaton." I rested a hand on his shoulder, and he nodded.

Malia drove some of the pack here, I guess she got her license during the time I was gone. Scott and Kira rode the motorcycle, so that just left Derek and I in the car. 

We walked outside, and everyone got into the vehicles. Once both Derek and I settled in the car, I sighed.

"God I'm so fucking stupid." I shook my head. 

"What are you talking about?" Derek was serious again, face set hard like stone. 

"I should have known."

"Stiles, he wiped your memories, how would you have known?" He snapped. 

"I trusted him. I thought he was good, I thought he saved me from this awful pack. I. . . I thought I loved him." I scrunched up my face as if I had just heard something gruesome. 

The car became silent, and it remained this way for the rest of the trip, until I reached my house. 

"It doesn't look like he's home right now." Derek said, looking in the driveway and not seeing the cruiser. 

"It's fine. I'll wait." I was desperate to see my dad. 

"I'll stay too."

"Derek, you don't have to do that. I'm sure you're sick and tired of me. All you've done the past months is probably heard 'Stiles this, Stiles that.' Not to mention I just spent the night at your house, and in the woods with the entire pack. You don't have to play babysitter anymore, I know you don't want to."

Derek looked as if he was contemplating something, but went ahead and spoke.

"That's not true. I mean yeah we've talked about you a lot, but it's because we were all worried. All of us wanted to find you. And I don't mind spending time with you."

I smirked. "You just don't particularly like it."

Derek rolled his eyes, and got out of the car. I followed suit. Derek surprised me, by reaching in the crack of the side of our house, and pulling out our extra key. He walked in, while I stayed put. 

When he turned back to look at me, it was almost as if he was blushing.

"We. . . We had to look for things, things that might tell us where you were so. . ."

"Right." I shook my head, and walked in. 

I looked around me, it was strange to be in my house again. The first thing I noticed was the overpower scents of sadness, stress, and loneliness. 

"This is weird. It's like. . . Visiting the same hotel room after six months. Nothing changes, everything is crisp just like the way it was in your mind, but it almost doesn't feel right to be back." I walked upstairs, and I sense Derek follow. 

I walked up towards my room, and immediately noticed it was different. Truthfully, any other person wouldn't know, but I could tell someone went through my stuff and tried to put it back neatly. The bedspread was also messed up, as it usually was, but the sheets were thrown on the opposite side, and the bed had a worn spot. Someone had slept here too.

I walked forward to my desk, and picked up a picture frame. It had a picture of my mom, dad, and me. My mom loved pictures, but my dad hated them, so we never seemed to have took them. 

In this picture, we were at the park, and the leaves were a brilliant shade of red, orange, and yellow. My mother thought it was beautiful, and wanted to take a picture of me and my dad, but my dad made her join, asking someone to take it. 

I hadn't realized I had said most of that outloud until I saw Derek smile slightly. 

"My mom absolutely hated pictures, especially because our eyes. But Laura always was taking them. A lot of times not even of us, just something as random as a plate, or a pencil. Now I wish I had some of them." 

I nodded, understanding. 

"Does my dad know anything?" I asked.

Derek walked over to the bed and took a seat.

"No, not really. We hated to keep him out of what we were doing, but we kept turning up empty, and we couldn't worry him. He was looking for you with the law, we were with the supernatural."

I took a seat next to Derek, and to my surprise, he didn't groan or get up.

"So how did you find me?"

"It wasn't easy, that's for sure. I'm a very good tracker, but Collin was amazing at covering up your scent. We asked everywhere if anyone had seen you, nothing turned up. We turned to the supernatural, no one had seen you. But we did get a name, a name of someone who knew everything and everyone that had to do with the supernatural. The women we asked didn't know where he was or any other information other than what she told us, his name, well, what he went by."

"And what was that?"

"The Alpha Of All."

I had a very good feeling of who this person was.

"We researched, for months, and we couldn't find anything. But finally, we came across another name, Jasper Black, he was said to be his main beta. We researched him, and found out more. His family had died, and he joined a large pack, one up North. That was enough inspiration for us, so we packed up, booked a flight, and headed out. There we searched for two more months, looking for this pack. We. . . Like I said it wasn't easy. We had to do things we wouldn't normally do."

"Like what?" 

Derek didn't say anything.

"Just tell me. You saved my life, so whatever you had to do, isn't going to change anything."

"We knew people had some information, but they wouldn't always give it, so we had to forcibly take it, with violence. But, after searching through an area someone said we would find his pack, we found a building. We didn't have time to come up with a plan. We didn't know how many werewolves there were, let alone other supernatural creatures. We had no idea how strong they were, or how strong the Alpha was, but we had already been spotted. Something changed though, something we weren't expecting. . . You."

"Me?"

Derek nodded. "We heard your roar, right as the betas attacked. We would have gotten to you sooner if it hadn't been for them. When we got there. . ." Derek paused, looking furious. "You were hardly recognizable, if it hadn't been for your scent. . . We saw the man's eyes, and figured this was the supposed Alpha Of All. We held him down, and. . . Well you know what. Though we were all shocked to find you made the wolves submit."

I looked down. "It must have been a shock to find out I was a werewolf."

"Yes, and to find out you didn't have your memories."

"But I do now." I whispered, and suddenly I remembered the conversation we had in the hospital, one of the last things that happened before I was kidnapped. I remembered Derek sleeping at my house, arms wrapped around me. I felt safe, I felt. . . Loved. 

"What was it like while I was gone?" I asked.

Derek looked uncomfortable. "It was hard, you know Scott, and the pack. They missed you." I frowned.

"And what about you?"

"Of course I missed you." He smiled. Recovering, he cleared his throat. "I actually went away for a while."

"Why?" I asked. Clearly this was the question Derek had been hoping I wouldn't ask, or maybe he didn't mean to say that he had went away. His face scrunched up, and he stood up, turning his back to me.

"How do you feel?" Derek asked.

"I- um, fine? Why-"

"Your wolf side, tell me what you're feeling this very moment." I wasn't sure I wanted to, because what I was feeling right now was similar to how I felt with Collin, but still different. All was revealed now though, I didn't want to keep anything else from Derek, as I knew it was just as hard for him to see that I didn't know who he was, as it was for me to not know who he was.

"I feel drawn towards you." I said barely above a whisper. 

Derek turned around quickly. "I feel the need to protect you. . . What happened the other night? Why did I shift and. . ."

Derek sighed. "I never actually hated you." Derek whispered, before finally meeting my gaze. "In truth I was attracted to you. You were crazy, hyper, annoying, loud, and . . . absolutely perfect. When you were gone, I. . . I didn't think it would hurt so bad. It physically hurt me to be away from you. I left, not wanting the pack to know why I was gone, not wanting them to know I was so weak. They were all baffled as to why I left." Derek took a seat beside of me again. 

"I didn't know what to think when I saw you. . . But when I saw the hatred in your eyes, everything came crashing down. You told me your memories weren't clear, and you know what I thought? I thought, 'perfect,' because in the past months, I had slipped up, shown emotion towards you, and I was scared someone would figure it out. Of course Deaton already had. I had to practically beg him to keep it a secret."

"Keep what a secret?" I asked.

"I figured with all the random shit you know you would have figured it out, but maybe you just want me to as it out loud. . . Stiles. . . You're my mate. That's why you can't get enough of my scent, it's why- well, I don't really know what kind of symptoms you have."

I stood up and ran a hand through my hair. This explained more than a lot. This explained everything.

"How long have you known?"

"I had a feeling for a while, but when you left, I became almost certain. And when you came back as a wolf, I was 100% sure. When you were human, the bond wasn't as strong. . . But now. . ."

"This explains everything." I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

I turned and looked at Derek "I mean that if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be back here."

He scrunched up his brows in confusion.

"Almost everyday, even though my memories were gone, I would see your face, or hear your voice, a flash of my memories. Before I would do something, I would ask myself what you would think about it. It made me furious, and eventually that's what led to me asking questions, too many for Collin. The way he reacted, I knew I was right. So I ran outside, and. . . You found me."

"That. . . It was the mate bond, seeping through. I've never heard anything like it."

We stayed silent for a little while, until we heard the door open.

"My dad." I whispered. "What do I do?"

"Go downstairs." As if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but really, it was.

"Right. . . Come with me." We walked downstairs, and towards my dad, who was sitting at the table, head in hands, bottle of whiskey on the table.

"Not drinking on the job again are you old man?" I asked. He snapped up his head, and ran toward me.

"Stiles!" He crushed me in a hug, and it was one of the best things I had felt in months. 

I didn't realize I was crying until I heard my shaky voice. 

"I love you so much." 

"I love you too, now what the hell? What happened? Where did you go?" Clearly his sheriff side, not to mention his overprotective dad side, had kicked in. 

"Okay, dad, just. . . There's a lot I have to tell you. And you're not going to like most of it. But just. . . Promise me you'll still love me."

"Stiles, son, I'll never stop."

I nodded my head, and launched into my story. I started from when I headed out into the woods looking for Derek. My dad shot glares at him, as he sat down a few seats over at the table we were currently at. To my surprise, my dad didn't interrupt too many times. Anger flashed over his face when I told him about my injuries. 

Once I was finished, he laced his hands together.

"You're a werewolf now?"

"Yes."

"An Alpha."

"Yes."

"Is that what you were worried about, me not loving you because you weren't human? Stiles, do you think I would put up with all this if I honestly didn't care? You're my son, you'll always be my son." 

I lurched forward and wrapped my dad up in a hug. I knew my dad didn't always like dealing with this stuff, and I knew he didn't like me dealing with it either, so somehow those thoughts made me think my dad would look at me differently.

"Thanks dad."

"How about some lunch? I'll make my famous chili, but it'll be about an hour."

"Sounds good dad." I stood up, and started to walk upstairs. I didn't want to leave my dad so quickly after just seeing him for the first time in months, though I was only going upstairs, but I knew he needed to sort through all of this information.

"Derek," My father called. "Thank you." He nodded and followed me upstairs. 

Once we were both in the room, I turned towards Derek.

"I have a few questions." Even through talking with my dad, I couldn't stop thinking about what Derek had told me.

"I've asked you plenty recently, so shoot."

"Where did you go when you left?" 

"I visited Cora in Florida for around a week, but I couldn't stay, she was annoying the shit out of me. Mostly I just traveled to different motels, but then I remembered the beach house my parents had. I went there, I didn't know if it had been sold, but I called Cora, and she told me it was actually left for me, guess I just never knew. So I made that my temporary home."

I nodded. "I'm sorry you had to leave."

Derek didn't say anything. "So. . . How do I know what's real and what is just the bond? I mean I think I know things, but I'm not sure if its really part of the whole thing and-" 

"First of all, stop rambling, you ramble when you're nervous. Second, I have no idea what you just said and I'm not an expert on this, but I'll try my best to answer your questions. And I could be totally off base, but what I think you were asking is what are some signs of the mating bond, because you aren't sure if you've been experiencing them or not."

"Uh. Yeah, that's kind of spot on actually."

Derek's lip twitched in a small smile, a Derek smile.

"The scent thing, that was because we are mates. We crave each other, and my scent is the best thing you will ever smell, and vise versa. Your scent drives me crazy."

"Is that why you got mad when I wore your t-shirt?"

"Yes but, I wasn't mad, only frustrated. When our scents intermingle, it strengthens the bond, and my wolf likes it. I didn't want anyone to know."

"I think I finally figured it out. You're ashamed of me, ashamed and embarrassed to be my mate."

"No, shit. That's not what I meant to say. Stiles. . . I can't imagine it being anyone but you. I just was worried I guess that people would. . . I don't really know, I just thought people would think it was gross, or my fault, or some stupid shit like that, but I don't care anymore, because I can't fight it any longer. I can't stay away from you. Not when you've been gone for six months. Not when I just got you back." Derek sighed.

". . . The electricity when we touch, it's part of the bond. You feel it right?" 

I nodded.

"Stiles I- I don't know. . . I mean. . ." Derek sighed. "I don't know if you grasp this, but I can't be away from you. I want," he bit his lip. "I want a relationship with you, I know you don't but I just. . . I don't know what to do. The right thing would be to leave you alone but I can't and-" I cut Derek off before he could say anymore. 

"Derek when I- when I didn't have my memories, I felt like something was missing, not just my memories I mean, but a person. When I saw you after I killed Collin, I was furious at myself, because I seemed to be overjoyed to see you, my wolf side too. I know now with my memories back who you are, who you really are. I don't know half of this stuff, but I'm willing to learn if you are. You just assume that I don't want to try, maybe I do. I mean is that really that bad?"

Derek's face broke out into a wide smile. 

"No, it's not bad. So, you're saying you want this?"

"Yes." I knew with those words, I was committing to Derek, to myself, to us.

For the first time, it was Derek who stepped forward and hugged me. Sparks shot through my body, and I clutched on tighter. Derek buried his head in my neck, and I fisted my hands in his t-shirt.

"I'm so glad you're back, the real you, but I want you to know, even if you never got your memories back, I would find a way to make you mine."

I smirked. "Alright playboy, don't get too cocky."

"I'll have you know Stiles," Derek leaned in close. "I can be very cocky." With that, he pulled back, and headed downstairs right as my dad called up that lunch was ready.

I didn't say anything as I walked down, though I wanted to yell at Derek, tease him, but I just scooped up some chili and sat down. 

The lunch was peacefully quiet, but I would catch my father staring at me sometimes, almost as if he was checking to see if I was still there.

"Dad, I know you probably want to-"

"Go see your friends, I'll be fine." I smiled and put my dishes in the sink.

"Thanks dad." I gave him a hug, and headed out. In a way, I felt normal again. We both wanted to feel close again, me and my dad, but we both understood reach other. I understood he needed time, and he understood I needed space.

Derek and I climbed into the silver car, and Derek started to drive, then turned towards me. 

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"Your place. Thought it would be good if we just. . . Hung out with the pack."

He nodded, and I grabbed his phone since mine was nonexistent. I sent out a text to everyone, telling them to meet us there.

"So, what ever happened to the Camero?"

"You remember her huh? Well, it was fast, but didn't have a whole lot of room, and crazily, I found myself hauling people around a lot, and dead bodies." He glared at me, but I only laughed.

Once we got to Derek's house, we walked in, and I was struck with his scent again. 

"When did you tell them to meet us?"

"2:00, they should be here in about an hour."

"Alright." Derek took a seat, and I noticed his brows scrunch.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Nothing really just. . . I never thought it would be you, but now I can't imagine anyone other than you."

"I never thought I would be a werewolf. I was always just. . . Human Stiles, so I certainly didn't think I would be a mate to Derek Hale, but after all I've been through, I guess not much is a surprise anymore."

We both laughed, then waited for the rest of the pack to show, all the while sitting close, shoulders touching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think!


	29. Truth Or Dare

The pack came soon enough, and brought pizza and alcohol. As soon as everyone walked through the door, they ran and hugged me, almost as if they didn't believe it was actually me. Both Derek and I didn't eat much as we had just had chili, but everyone else ate a ton. 

"So what was the invitation for?" Scott asked. Himself and everyone else still seemed wary. Everyone wanted me to be myself so badly that once I finally was, or mostly, they couldn't believe it and expected me to lash out or suddenly not be who I used to be.

"Nothing really, I just thought it would be nice to hang out." I replied. 

"That does sound nice." Lydia said, smiling softly. "But, we just got you back, and I'm sure everyone is tired of the same ol' depressing shit so, truth or dare! You chicken and you take a shot! No, even better! You chicken, and everyone takes a shot, but you take two." Lydia's eyes twinkled. 

"Oh god." Everyone groaned. They all knew how Lydia could be, though in the past few years she hadn't been the same party animal she used to be. When she was with Jackson, she was studying during the day, and partying at night, but once he left, she was more quiet. She still had the same sass she always had, but just didn't seem to enjoy the drunk life anymore. Of course she was never the poster girl for drunk party girl. She enjoyed it, but didn't do it so often or to a degree where no one worshiped her or could tape her doing stupid shit. 

"What? You guys are no fun!" She whined. 

"I'm in." I shrugged my shoulders. Sounded like fun to me, and I wouldn't even get drunk, alcohol didn't work on my new werewolf status. After all this time I wanted to give up, and give in. I wanted to just act like a teenager again, though not all drank and partied. I just wanted to let loose, and if that meant me doing things I would later regret, so be it. 

"Perfect! See, Stiles isn't a party pooper! Can you get the special ingredient Derek?" Lydia asked politely. 

Derek sighed and got up. I was curious as to what this ingredient was, and followed Derek with my eyes up until he disappeared from my gaze. 

"What exactly is the special ingredient?" I asked. 

"Wolfsbane." Derek said, coming back into the room, bringing a small bag and sitting down again.

"Very small usage can produce similar symptoms to being drunk; dizziness, memory loss, utter stupidness, etc. Peter was quiet fond of doing this." 

I laughed. "Alright, lets do this." I said, rubbing my hands together.

Lydia started to mix in the wolfsbane in some shot glasses, then poured the alcohol.

"Everyone else in?" I asked. Everyone looked at each other, and either nodded or shrugged.

"Everyone start with one shot, just to get us going." Lydia said.

Some groaned, but took the glass anyways. Scott, Derek, Liam, and I took the shots from the pile that had wolfsbane poured in them.

"Cheers, to Stiles." Lydia said. Everyone clinked their glasses together and threw back their glass. I grimaced, but swallowed all of it. Derek was right, it was very similar to an actual shot; it burned, but then faded away. 

"Okay! Scott, truth or dare?" Lydia asked, smirking. 

Scott shook his head. "Dare."

"Alright, I dare you-" Lydia got up all of a sudden, and grabbed a bowl she brought with her, along with the pizza. "-To take three Jell-O shots off of the person to your right's stomach." Scott looked over, and there sat Liam. 

"Uh." Was all Liam said. Scott gave him puppy eyes so he wouldn't have to take two shots and make everyone else take a shot, and Liam lifted up his shirt, plopping down. Lydia placed three Jello shots on his stomach, and Scott slurped them all down. 

Everyone laughed. 

"Alright lets see." Said Liam, looking around. "Derek, truth or dare?"

"For the record, this is really dumb, but in not going to be a pussy, dare." Derek chose. He looked very relaxed, leaning back, putting his weight on his hands.

Liam smiled crookedly. "Take off your shirt, and the person to the left of you has to lick your nipples, each one. If you twitch, you have to sit pant-less for the rest of the game." I bursted out laughing, and then realized everyone was staring at me. Then I also realized I was sitting to Derek's left.

"Oh! Uh. . . Guys I don't think-" 

"Don't be a bitch Stilinski." Derek said, smirking. I raised my eyebrow, then shrugged. Derek took off his shirt, and I leaned forward. I rested my hand on his chest.

"Don't move." I slowly dragged my tongue over his right nipple, ending with a flick, and he didn't move. Then I moved to his left, and repeated the process. 

"Success." I said, pulling back and smirking. Derek put his shirt back on, but looked a little shaken up.

"Is anyone else turned on?" Malia asked. Everyone laughed. 

"Well clearly I know how this game is going to be now, so, Lydia, truth or dare?" Derek asked.

"Truth." She stated simply, no fear in her eyes. 

"Have you ever been fucked in the ass?" 

"Derek!" Stiles proclaimed. Everyone laughed, and Lydia blushed. Derek was clearly more adventurous today, and it shocked me that he was even playing, let alone so enthusiastically. 

"Um. . ."

"Answer or shot."

Lydia leaned forward and grabbed two shots, and everyone else grabbed one.

"You pretty much just answered the question." Kira said, laughing. 

"Alright, alright!" Lydia said, cheeks still pink. 

"Stiles, truth or dare?"

"Uh. . . Truth." I said, crossing my arms. 

"How big do you think Derek, Liam, and Scott dick's are? You have to be 100% honest."

"Give me the shots." I leaned forward, palm extended. 

"What, why?" She asked.

"I don't want Scott to be embarrassed!" I giggled.

Everyone laughed, but Scott glared. 

I took two shots, and everyone else took one as well. They burned my throat, but I shook it off. 

The night continued like this for a while, and all of us ended up getting so drunk that we played Just Dance for two hours straight. Later, we put on a movie, and everyone was out within the first fifteen minutes, besides Derek and I.

I started giggling out of no where, and Derek grinned, shushing me for the hundredth time. 

"Sorry." I whispered. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew in the morning I would regret drinking so much, but for now I just laughed it off. 

The main problem currently, was that I had no impulse control, though I never really did sober either. . . 

"I missed you." I said, not smiling anymore. "I guess I didn't really know it at the time, but in a way I did."

"What was it like, figuring out that something wasn't right?" Derek asked. The conversation was no longer light.

"I was furious, especially because it was the night of the full moon, and I almost killed someone. I was mad Collin wasn't there for me." I shook my head, and giggled. "Of course I was an idiot, but that's beside the point. Basically I was just really mad, and I wanted answers. I felt like an alien, being told he had been on this planet before."

"Bet that was hard." Derek said. I snorted and laughed quietly.

"Like my dick." I laughed again, and Derek joined in to my surprise. 

Derek turned off the movie, no one was watching it, and stood up. He unassembled himself from the rest of the pack, and turned towards me. 

"Come on. No reason to sleep on the couch if I've got a bed." I nodded, and also untangled myself from the pack.

I followed Derek upstairs and to his room, where he stripped off his shirt quickly and flopped into bed.

"Why are you so hot?" I whined.

"Why are you so beautiful?" Derek returned.

I stripped my shirt, and jumped into bed, pouting. 

"God put too much sexy." I said.

"What?"

"Huh?" I asked, totally out of it. Derek grabbed my side and pulled me in close, burying his head in my neck.

"Night Stiles."

All I managed to get out was a snore.

***********************************

In the morning, I woke up alone in the bed.

"Derek?" I called. Where the hell was he? I got up and realized I wasn't at Derek's, I was at my house. 

I walked around the room and in the bathroom, but Derek wasn't there. I walked downstairs, and the entire house was empty. 

Walking outside, I called for Derek, but he never answered. I was shirtless and cold, but I kept looking for him. 

I heard a twig snap behind me, and I whipped around, saying "Derek?"

"Wrong wolf." Collin said, head barely hanging on, blood all over his face, neck, and pouring out of his mouth.

I yelled, and woke up, panting. 

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, it's okay. It was just a dream." Derek whispered, soothing me. He rubbed my back, but it barely calmed me. I couldn't seem to catch my breath.

"You're okay, I promise." Tears were streaming down my face, and I guessed that I was crying during the dream. 

I didn't realize I was gripping Derek's hand tightly until I looked down. To my surprise, I didn't feel embarrassed, and I didn't want to take my hand away. 

I took a few minutes to get my breathing regular, and ran my hand through my hair.

"Sorry for waking you." I said, voice quiet and shivering. 

"It's no bother." Derek bit his lip. "Come on." He stood up, and I frowned, but got up anyways, happy to leave the scene of my nightmare. 

We were both only in boxers, but Derek didn't seem too concerned, so neither was I. He never let go of my hand, and lead me downstairs. 

We passed the pack, who were all sleeping hard, snoring, drooling, the whole package. Derek didn't stop there, but took me to the door. He let go of my hand, and tried to open the door as quietly as he could. Of course, it was a huge metal door, it was never quiet, but the pack didn't stir. 

He took my hand again, and lead me outside. 

"Where are we going?" I asked. 

"You'll see." He said quietly. It was quiet outside, and cool. No cars went past on the highway in front of us, and the only thing lighting up the night was the lights on buildings and the round moon. 

Derek led me to the back of his building, where a long ladder was. It went all the way to the top of the building. 

"Go on." Derek said. 

"Are you joking? You want me to climb all the way to the top of the building on a metal ladder in my skivvies?" I asked.

"Fine, I'll go first." Derek shrugged. He started to climb the ladder, and I sighed. I gripped the cool bars, and followed him. Evidently it wasn't a bad idea to let him go first, as I got an amazing view of his ass.

"Stop staring at my ass." 

"Sorry not sorry." I said, just as we reached the top. Derek took my hand again, and led me over to a certain spot that answered my question as to why Derek brought me up here.

The view was awesome. The lights from the buildings cast a glow over the night, and it was quiet. 

"I come here a lot during the night. I get nightmares too, you know." Derek said. He sat on the edge of the building, swinging his legs over. I saw a box beside him.

I also took a seat, though it made me nervous to have my feet dangling off of a tall building.

"Don't worry, you won't die if you fall off."

"Wow Derek. That's very comforting." I rolled my eyes, though he wasn't looking at me. "What's in the box?" I asked.

"Oh." He said. "Forgot about that, um. . ." He pulled the box over and sat it between us. 

"Lets see. . . A bottle of vodka, wolfsbane mixed in, a pack of cigarettes, a few photos, and a lighter." 

I pulled the photos out, there were only three. The first one was a family photo. It seemed to have been taken when Derek was around sixteen, and I looked at everyone's faces. They all looked alike. The next photo was of Derek and Laura, who was smiling, but Derek was glaring. Behind the anger, I could see pain. The next picture surprised me the most. It was of me.

I looked up at Derek and he was biting his lip, staring off into the night.

"I missed you too Stiles." 

I frowned. "Is this how you coped? Sitting up here, getting drunk?"

Derek shrugged, still not looking me in the eye. 

"It kept the pain away, for a while. But then I realized that as soon as I was sober again, the pain came back, so there was really no point in getting drunk."

I sighed. "Are cigarettes the only thing you smoked?" I asked.

"No. . . But everything had little effect on me." 

I started to get angry. "Derek you can't just go and waste your life away because I was gone!"

"Why not?" Derek asked blankly. 

"Isn't it obvious? Your life has meaning to it!"

"Well at the time I didn't know any other way to deal. Stiles I don't think you get it. When I was without you. . . I wasn't myself. I get it, I'm a dick to everyone, but this was evil. I didn't just leave to get away from the place you last were, the place that haunted me, I got away so I would stop hurting everyone else. I of course was angry and hurt that you were gone, but my wolf side was furious. Everyone I looked at could have been someone who hurt you, or at least that's how my wolf viewed it." 

"But why?"

Derek shrugged. "The mate bond I'm guessing." 

I sighed, not knowing what to say. 

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? Before all of this happened? I mean I know you explained it, but Derek you could have just told me."

"I planned to, at the hospital, but then I figured that was an inappropriate time. Then when we shared the same bed, that morning I planned to, but then all this happened. I'm so sorry Stiles." 

"You have no reason to apologize, it's not your fault. I just. . . As much as I want things to go back to normal, I know they'll never be the same. Me, my lifestyle, my friends, you, us. . . I don't even know what we are."

"We're whatever you want us to be. Mates for sure, I can't change that, but I can be whatever you want me to be. Your friend, boyfriend, brother, fuck buddy." Derek grinned, and I shoved him, then realizing what I had done I grabbed him quickly. 

"Or I could be dead!" Derek said.

"I thought you said you wouldn't die if you fell!"

"Maybe I made that up to make you feel safe." Derek grinned, but it quickly disappeared. He looked down at his lap, and picked at his nails. 

"Stiles I like you a lot. I want to be here for you, always. I want to be whatever you want me to be and if that means just being your friend then so be it, but if there is anything in you that wants to be more than friends, hell that would make me the happiest man in the world." 

I looked up at the black sky that was dotted with stars. "There's a part of me that knows I should just leave. I know you would find someone amazing to be with, because you're amazing. But then there's another part of me that doesn't want to be away from you. So whatever this becomes, whatever this non-relationship becomes, it just has to go slow. The last person I was with ended up being a psychopath, and I know you've had a few of those, so I think it would just benefit us if we both went slow." I said. It was a huge relief to say this. 

Derek grinned ear to ear. "I am now the happiest man in the world."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me off of the ledge to where we were both standing, then gripped me in a hug. I wrapped my hands around him, and felt whole. Safe, warm, protected, and whole.

"I'm not sure I can go back to bed now." I said, laughing. 

Derek laughed. "Me either." 

"Well I certainly don't want to get drunk again. Speaking of that, why am I not puking on your shoes?"

"Our bodies heal themselves, so we don't get hangovers."

"That's actually kind of awesome." I said. "What time is it?" 

"Around 2:00 A.M. I would guess, no sense in waking the pack coming back in." 

I grinned. "Lets go for a run." 

"Alright. . . Race you!" Derek said. With that, he ran and jumped off of the ledge. I ran panicked, and see him land on his legs and take off running, laughing. 

"You sly dog." I grinned, and jumped as well, putting all fears aside. I caught up to him easily, though I assumed he let me. I followed him into the woods, and punched his arm. 

"I thought you were serious about that ledge!" I said. Derek laughed and shook his head.

"Of course not, I wouldn't bring you to a place that could put you in harms way, though knowing you, that could be the grocery store." 

Instead of being offended, I laughed. "Wait a second." I slow to a stop, and Derek followed. 

"You can transform into a real wolf can't you?"

"Yes." He nodded.

"Last time I remember you weren't an Alpha either. When did that happen?"

"Right after we found out that the Nogitsune could come back. Deaton told me that the only way that I could save you was to change you, and I knew Scott wouldn't be able to so-"

"So you were just going to change me, just like that?"

"No, actually. I knew that the one thing you wanted to keep was your humanity. I never wanted to take that from you, but I couldn't see you like that again. And I knew this time, someone would kill you. But I also knew I couldn't live with myself if I just let you die, so if it came to it, I would change you. At least this way you would still be alive, even if you hated me."

I nodded, and tried to change the subject. Clearly this was hard for Derek to talk about. 

"I want to see it, your wolf. Last time I did was when Kate was around, and I thought you were dead." I chuckled.

"Alright." Derek nodded. He slid off his underwear, but I didn't get to stare for too long before a large black wolf took the place of human Derek. 

I dropped to my knees, to get on eye level with him, though he was still big. I ran my hands through his fur, which was less coarse than I thought it would be. Derek seemed to sigh. 

"I wish I could do that, that'd be so cool." Derek of course didn't say anything. 

I decided I wanted to run like this, with Derek as a wolf, so I transformed as well, as far as I could go, which only included the facial hair, fangs, claws, and red eyes. 

Derek seemed to have caught on, and took of running with me right beside him. 

We ran for a while, and I followed Derek as he knew these woods better. Soon, he circled around and ran towards his house, and we were there soon. 

Derek didn't shift, but sat at the door, waiting for me to open it. I did as quietly as I could, and then we stepped inside and snuck upstairs, evidently not waking the pack still. 

Derek's bones started to crack, and he shifted back. I raised a brow, looking at his junk, and Derek rolled his eyes. 

Derek grabbed a pair of boxers, and slid them on. 

"You said take it slow, therefore no looking." 

I frowned, but then grinned. "Guess you're right." I looked at the clock and saw it was 3:42 A.M. 

"What are we going to do? Sleep?"

"If you want." Derek shrugged. 

"Not really." I said. I sat down in bed, and Derek came too.

We stayed silent for a few moments, and I started to think about Collin. I understood why I fell for it and yet I was still furious at myself. I slept with him for Christ sake! And now that I thought about it, it didn't seem very loving. It was just another way to get me to trust Collin. 

"I can sense you're angry, what are you thinking about?"

"What do you think?" I sighed. I thought about how the last person I kissed was Collin, and I felt like I need to brush my teeth. 

"It'll get easier, everyday. For now, how about you try and go to sleep. I know you may not want to but I'm sure you need it." 

"Sleep is for the weak." I said.

"Well then be weak for a moment."

I nodded, defeated, and laid down. Derek never laid down with me, so I tugged him down hard, making him fall on me. I laughed, then pushed him over so he wasn't crushing me, only to throw my leg over his hip. Sighing in content, I rested my hand on his chest. He placed his hand on my back, rubbing it. 

Though I didn't seem tired, I was knocked out in minutes, with Derek holding me tightly. Derek soon followed.


	30. Stiles Stilinski

I woke up to a loud bang.

I sat up quickly, and looked to Derek, who was laying down, arm over his eyes. He groaned, and wiped his face.

"What was that?" I asked. I heard whispering from downstairs.

"Go and see for yourself. I'm surprised you stayed asleep for this long." I did as he said, and headed downstairs. 

I saw that the wolves weren't in the living room area, and I also smelled something burning.

"Oh! Good morning Stiles!" Kira said, hiding something behind her back. She had something white in her hair, flour. 

I saw behind her in the kitchen was Scott, and Liam, who were arguing over something on the stove. There were egg shells on the counter, and batter all over their clothes and hair. I could only assume it was on their face too, but their backs were turned. 

"What the hell are you doing?" I sighed, wiping my eyes.

"Making pancakes!" Kira grinned. "We were going to make it a surprise, but then Liam here-"

"Hey! You're the one who knocked into me!"

"I was trying to get the batter to the stove!"

"And I was trying to get the pan!"

"Guys!" I yelled, a little louder than I meant to.

"Where's Lydia?" I sighed. Surly she knew how to cook something.

"She went out to get breakfast with Malia. After we caught the first pancake on fire, she didn't think we could make anymore." Liam said, scratching behind his ears. 

I heard Derek walk down the stairs, and stand behind me. 

"If you guys ever try to make pancakes in my kitchen again, you'll be the ones on fire. You're cleaning all of this up, by the way." Scott, Kira, and Liam all groaned, then started arguing about who made what mess.

I rolled my eyes, and turned towards Derek, who was now headed back upstairs. I followed him, curious. 

When I reached the top of the stairs, he was already in his room, grabbing clothes.

"You want to shower first?" He asked.

"No. Go ahead. . . How long have you been up?"

"They started at 8:30, but Kira was puking at 8:00."

"Wonderful. . . " I grimaced. Nothing like being woken up by the sounds of someone upchucking. 

"Yeah. Sad part? The've done this before. One morning they just came in, tried to make breakfast. It was awful." 

I laughed. "I'm sorry I missed that." 

He smiled. "Lydia should be here in around thirty minutes."

"Alright. Have uh. . . Fun in the shower I guess?" I said awkwardly. 

Derek smirked. "Oh, I will." With that he headed into the bathroom, and I was left with the rest of the pack, who were now yelling again.

I groaned, and flopped on the bed again. This had been a crazy week. I started off at Collin's, and now I was back at Derek's place, with all of my memories back, and with teenagers burning down the kitchen. I laughed. I sure had a crazy life. 

"Dad!" I sat up quickly. Shit, I forgot to call him. I just got back, and I only saw him for a couple of hours before I went away again. 

I looked around me, and saw Derek's phone on the nightstand. I grabbed it, hoping he wouldn't mind. The background was one of the ones that came with the phone, of course. I snorted, then opened the phone. To my glee, he didn't have a password. 

When I opened it, I went straight to the call app, and furrowed my brows. The last person Derek called was. . . Me. Just a week ago. 

I found this strange, but I quit rummaging through his phone and called my dad.

"Derek?" Dad answered.

"No dad, it's me."

"Stiles! I started to get worried."

"I know dad, I'm sorry. We're going to have to get me another phone. I'm actually surprised that you had Derek's number."

"We stayed in contact while. . . Well. How are you?" 

"I'm good dad." I tried not to laugh. He was acting as if I was in another state. 

"I'll come by later today, yeah?"

"Sounds good, see you then."

"I love you."

"I love you too." I hung up the phone, right as Derek walked in.

"Hey, I'm sorry I should have asked."

"Not a problem. You're up." Derek was wearing black jeans and a dark gray Henley. His hair was still dripping, standing up in little spikes of water. 

It took me a moment to move, once I realized I was staring. 

Derek went to the drawers, and handed me some clothes.

"Ah, shit. I'm sorry I have to keep borrowing all your clothes like this."

"It doesn't bother me." Derek said simply. I nodded, once, then headed to the shower.

I turned on the shower until it was steaming hot, but didn't get it. I turned towards the mirror, and looked at myself. On the outside, I didn't look that different. I had stubble, I was bigger, and I had ink, but truly, not much had changed. On the inside however, I couldn't have felt more different.

I once had two sides. One where I was a funny, young, fun loving teenager. I was part of a unique pack, one that always went for what was right. I had a family. The other side of me was rough. Surrounded by a cement wall, and no one could get in. I believed in strength and power, and everyone in my life was my enemy, apart from Collin. Now these two sides had meshed together, and I had never felt more unfamiliar.

At one point I would feel like I never left, I was safe with my pack, my family, then the next moment I would feel like I was in a stranger's house. These two sides meshed together, and sometimes I felt like I was losing my mind slowly. 

When I was with Derek though. . . Derek was different. On both sides, I knew he was good. Somehow, even when I was brainwashed, I just knew. He's the one person that I didn't see having two different sides. 

I rubbed my face, and shed off my clothes. I climbed in the steaming shower and tried to relax, but I remained tense. 

I blew out a puff of air, and rested my head on the cool tile wall.

I finally had everything I wanted. I had my memories, I knew the truth, I had family and true friends, I was free and yet. . . I still didn't feel entirely whole. 

I didn't expect to get my memories back, to get everything back, and have my life go back to normal. I knew that would never happen because that fact was, I wasn't normal. I was a werewolf. I was kidnapped. I was brainwashed. I had a pack. I was a mate. I would never be normal, but maybe that was okay. 

I took the rest of my shower quickly, and then stepped out. This time, I avoided the mirror, and got dressed without really ever drying off. 

With my hair still dripping wet, I pushed it out of my face, and headed downstairs.

"Just in time." Lydia said, as I stepped off of the stairs.

Everyone was piled around the couch or around the coffee table, eating breakfast.

"I got chocolate chip pancakes, your favorite." Malia said. Were they my favorite? Maybe they used to be. 

She smiled brightly at me, and I realized at that moment that we never really broke up. 

I remembered one night, we were at my house, we got in this big fight, but I wasn't sure if we had broken up or not. I knew at this moment we couldn't and wouldn't be together again. I only hoped she knew this. 

Malia scooted over to give me room to sit on the couch, but I chose a spot on the floor, next to Scott. 

I grabbed a couple pancakes, but even just looking at them made me feel sick.

No one noticed for a while, they were too busy chattering.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Kira asked.

"I'm not really hungry." I said quietly. 

"Since when is Stiles not hungry?" Scott said, joining in with the other's laughter. 

"Since I'm a different person." I snapped. I didn't raise my voice, but the sting was still there.

I shook my head, and dug my nails into the palm of my hand while my fists were closed. 

These were the moments, the moments I would snap. It was like I was a different person, but truly, I was. Both the pack and I wanted me to be back to the way I was, but I couldn't. I never would be. 

"I'm going to go." I said, standing up and heading to the door.

"Wait Stiles! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

I turned quickly. "You didn't do anything. It's me Scott, me." This was the moment I started to raise my voice. 

"I'm not the Stiles you met in the first grade, and I'm not the Stiles you saw a few days ago. I'm me!"

"Okay. I'm-"

"Quit apologizing!" I yelled, voice cracking. Everyone winced, and I cringed.

"I don't know what to do with you all." I shook my head. "I don't know how to please you, because when I'm. . . Like how I was, you're happy, but I'm not. Not really. I don't want to be Collin's pet still, but I can't always be who you want me to." 

"Stiles what we want you to be is you." Scott said.

"Yeah, but you still think I'm the same person I was six months ago! But I'm not Scott!" I walked closer to them. 

"I'm a teenager, I'm your friend, I'm the sheriff's son, I'm the kid who got kidnapped, I'm the kid who got brainwashed, I'm a werewolf, I'm an Alpha, this is who I am! I'm never going to be your perfect little Stiles again, I can't be." I shook my head, and hung it low. 

"I can't be your Stiles." With that, I walked out the door, not bothering to shut it. As soon as I was out the door I was sprinting into the woods, my only sanctuary. The only place that hadn't changed. 

I was panting hard, and my vision turned red. I shook my head, but I couldn't stop from shifting. Too many things boiled over, and I found my teeth starting to elongate. I kept running, until I came to a cliff. I looked in front of me, and saw Beacon Hills. This place, it was my home. . . But so was the Worth Mansion. As hard as I tried I couldn't seem to fit comfortably here. 

I sat down on the ground, and buried my head in my hands. I wanted to be him again, soft, unscarred, but in a way I didn't. I was strong now, I was. . . a werewolf. I never wanted my humanity taken from me, but once it was I couldn't change a thing, so I found myself embracing it.

I grit my teeth, fangs tearing into my bottom lip. 

I understood the pack wasn't the bad guys, they meant good, but I could see in their eyes when I got my memories back. . . They thought everything would be how it was, back to normal. Now they wouldn't leave, constantly reminding me of the past, bringing up stories, watching movies. I was fine for a little while, but now I felt as if I was suffocating. 

I also understood this life was good. I was safe, mostly, and I was loved. A part of me wondered if Collin planned to make me fall for him, or if it just happened. 

In a way, I wanted the other life back. Sure, I didn't know how good these people were, but life was simple. I was a werewolf, no different than everyone else. I served Collin, like everyone else. I was a part of something that everyone else was. I belonged. I stood out among the others, and yet. . . I had never felt so ordinary. 

I growled, gripping my hair. Every second, I was thrown between the two worlds. Was I him, or was I him? I knew I couldn't be one, I would always have to be both, but it was like they couldn't mix together. I was the hard shelled Alpha, or I was the fragile teenager, never in between. 

I growled again in frustration, and heard a snap of twigs, much like I had the night I had been captured. This time however, it was only Derek.

I didn't lock eyes with him, I knew who he was. 

"They're trying, but I know you are too. No one said it was going to be easy-"

"But no one said it would be this hard." I snapped my head up, and looked at him. He finally saw my ugly shifted face. 

I hid from his gaze again, hiding my face.

"Hey." Derek crouched in front of me. 

"Don't ever hide from me again." He lifted my face up. "Stiles." He shook his head. "You are the most extraordinary person I have ever met. Stiles you were soft, human, young. Then you were hard, aged in maturity. Now, you're just. . . You. Just as you were before you got kidnapped, and after. Stiles. . . We all got to know you before, but it's who you are now that makes you part of this pack. You're not a memory of what was. You're still young, soft. . . And you're hard, and mature. Everything about you, whether it was before or after Collin, is what makes you, you. You don't have try and be who you were. All we want, all I want, is you alive, here, with me. Always." 

I felt his warm hand on my cheek, and it made everything fade away. The shift, the pain, the worry.

"But what if. . . What if sometimes I don't know who I am, even if you do?"

"Then we'll figure it out together. Not by figuring out who you liked better, or what part of your life was better, but by figuring out who you are now. Who you are now is all that matters. It's all that has ever mattered. Stiles. . . You're a werewolf. You're a son. You're a friend. You're a brother. You're an Alpha. You're a pack member. You're my mate. None of that, will ever change, that's all you. But above that, you're kind. You're beautiful. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You're so much more than who you think you are. " 

I lurched forward into Derek's arms, and gripped on tight. I was crying silently, but I wasn't embarrassed. 

"Promise me you'll never change." I whispered. I had changed so much, and I had seen how it ripped me apart, and how it affected the pack. I never wanted him to change. 

"I promise." He returned. I pulled back, but left my hand on the back of his neck. 

"I know something else about me now Derek."

"What's that?"

"I know I'm in love with you." I said quietly. Derek's mouth parted slightly before he lurched forward and kissed me. His lips were soft, but firm. I melted into him, and pulled him closer. 

"I'm in love with you Stiles. Every part of you." I kissed him harder, and he didn't protest. 

I pulled away, breathless. 

"We should probably get back." 

"Yeah, we should." He kissed me briefly again, then grabbed my hand, and lead me back. 

I knew that under normal circumstances, it was too soon to say I love you, to soon to even know, but these weren't normal circumstances, and I wasn't normal. 

When we arrived at the loft, I gripped Derek's hand harder. He opened up the door, and everyone's eyes met mine. 

I smiled at Derek, and let go of his hand.

"I know who I am. I'm Stiles Stilinski. What I am, what I've done, and what has been done to me doesn't define me. It's what I've learned. . ." I smiled. 

"I've learned that bad things can happen to a person, but those things don't define who you are. I've learned how you recover from those things, how you deal with them makes you who you are in this very moment. I have learned that I am a different person from who I was yesterday, and I have learned that that is okay, because I'll always have friends, a pack, a family, who will accept me no matter who I am, what I am. And I've learned that what really defines who I am, is who I am in this very moment." 

Scott came forward, for the first time not cautiously, and gripped me in a hug. Lydia came next, tears streaming down her face. Soon, Liam, Kira, and Malia all came too. 

I looked back at Derek, who was smiling, and I pulled him in too. 

At this moment, I knew who I was. I was Stiles Stilisnki, mate to Derek Hale, son of John and Claudia Stilinski, family to everyone in this room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT
> 
> Yes, I am awful, I haven't updated in two months, and I'm so sorry. Believe it or not, I actually have an excuse for once! For some reason, I can't remember why, I went back and looked at the previous chapters, and noticed most of this story was written in past tense, but, recently I had been writing in present tense, I don't know why. Finding this annoying and unprofessional, I went back and changed every chapter to past tense, and also fixed any other mistakes I found. Yes, every chapter. 
> 
> So, here we are, I finally updated and it's the final chapter, well, not quite. I have an epilogue, but yes, this is it folks, the end of Just Howl. The ending of this story is really special to me, because it was my first story. I was nervous to put my unprofessional writing out there, but I did, and so much good came out of it. You all were so sweet and encouraging, so thank you. 
> 
> I hoped you liked this book, as of now, I'm not seeing myself writing a sequel as I did with Turning Year. Did I want to write more? Yes. Did I like how this ended? Yes, so therefore, no sequel as of now. 
> 
> Once again, thank you!


	31. Epilogue

"Derek." I whispered, trailing kisses down his chest. He groaned, awaking slowly. 

"Derek, wake up." I trailed kisses further down his chest. I laid one final kiss on his navel, then came up to his face.

"Good morning." I smiled. 

"Morning beautiful." Derek came up and kissed me. He groaned mid kiss, and flipped us over. He buried his head in my neck, sucking and kissing gently.

"Uh uh. Derek, not going to work. You- ah. You know we have to-"

"No, not yet." Derek groaned. 

I chuckled, and he pulled back, pouting. 

"It'll only be a few hours, then I'm all yours." 

"You'll always be mine." Derek growled, biting my ear playfully. 

I flipped him over, startling him. "Watch it wolf boy." I flashed my red eyes, then got out of bed, Derek following close. 

I got in the shower, and not to my surprise, Derek joined me.

He hummed, trailing his fingers down my spine.

"So beautiful." He replaced his fingertips with kisses, and then his tongue.

"Derek." I moaned. 

"We still have an hour." He whispered heavily.

"We still have to get ready, and it's fifteen minutes up there."

"I can be quick." He smirked. I grinned, and shoved him against the shower wall. I kissed him heavily, but wasn't able to stop smiling.

"Why are you so grinny?" Derek asked.

"Because, I'm happy." I smiled. Derek smiled back, and kissed me. 

"But. . ." I trailed my hand down Derek's chest. I leaned in close to his ear and whispered. "I still have to get ready." With that, I turned away, and continued washing my hair. Derek groaned, but washed as well, keeping his hands off. . . Most of the time. 

We got out soon enough, and both brushed our teeth. Derek styled his hair, and I tried my best, but certain pieces wouldn't stay down.

"Here." Derek said. He lathered up his hands with gel, and went to work. When he was done, I turned to the mirror, and saw it was perfect. 

"Thanks." I pecked his lips. 

We both headed to the bedroom, and I grabbed our clothes we had set out the night before. I put on the white button up and black slacks, while Derek put on his blue button up and grey slacks. I grabbed the red tied, and didn't even try to attempt to put it on. Derek came up behind me, and tied it on, then did his quickly. 

"Show off." I muttered. He snorted, and handed me the crinkly bag with the rest of my clothes for tonight.

"You ready?" He asked.

"As I'll ever be." He smiled and we got into the car, the black Camero. 

Derek drove down to Beacon Hills High, where lots of people already were. I got out, and bit my lip. 

Derek unzipped the bag, and handed me the two final touches, my cap and gown. 

I put them on quickly, nervously. 

"You'll do perfect, just don't trip." Derek smiled, and I rolled my eyes. He pecked me on the lips, and then it was time to say goodbye.

"I'll see you soon."

I nodded, and kissed him again, then followed the rest of the students.

As soon as I got in the hallway where all of us were, I wasn't so nervous. Scott and Lydia came and said hi to me. They stood close to each other in the ceremony. 

Soon enough, the chattering quieted down, and the music started playing. I followed the person in front of me, and focussed on not tripping and on breathing. 

Soon, all of us were seated, and I wanted to look behind me, to search for Derek, but I knew he was there. 

Soon, they were on the S row, and we were walking up. My heart was pounding, and they called my name. I walked up the stairs, and didn't trip, to my amazement. 

I shook everyone's hands, and smiled when I was handed my diploma. 

I took a seat back where I was, and let out a sigh of relief. 

Most of the rest of the graduation was boring, but then came the part I was most nervous of. I had to give a speech. 

"Now, some words from one of Beacon Hills' brightest students, Stiles Stilinski." 

I swallowed nervously, and headed on the stage once again. I stood on the podium, and gripped my notecards tightly. I looked into the crowd, past the bright lights, and spotted him almost instantly. There was my mate. Suddenly, I wasn't nervous anymore. 

"I never thought this day would come." I shook my head, and everyone laughed. "But here we are. . . High school isn't what you see in the movies, and yet it's just the same. Above pulling all nighters to finish your homework you should have started a week ago, and playing way to many video games, you have to figure out who you are, I think that's the biggest part of high school. Figuring out who you are ties into everything you do in high school. Above the stereotypical names given to all of us, jock, nerd, I had to figure out who I thought I was, not what everyone else thought. Was I kind? Brave? Idiotic? Certainly." The crowd laughed. 

"This perhaps, was the most difficult part of high school, of my life so far. In my early years in high school, I wanted what everyone wanted, to be accepted. I joined the lacrosse team, failed a couple tests, tried to make lots of friends. For the next few years, I realized I didn't need to have hundreds of friends. I realized everyone I needed, I already had. . . Senior year, just like what everyone says, that's the year it all changes. . . When I came back to Beacon Hills, it was hard to find myself again, to find who I was." I looked into the crowd, seeing everyone I had come to love.

"I didn't need a drastic thing to happen to me to figure who I was, and neither do you. Because the fact is, you know you are. Aspire. Always aspire, but don't destroy what you already have,  
to become something you're not. Just like most people in this room, I graduated today. I don't know what is ahead. And though people tell you their experiences, what to expect, you can never truly know. . . You can't fully live, or truly understand something or someone until you know who you are. I'm not saying it's a simple, quick, easy process, because it's not, but I can tell you one thing. Over the years, you'll figure it out. You'll figure you out who you are now, it may be completely different then who you are going to be, and that's okay. But in our future, when times become tough, when life gets you down, you have to think, who I am? How will I respond? How, will I change this situation? . . . Know who are. Know who your friends are. Know who you trust, because in this moment, you are no longer a high school student. You no longer have to have a click. You no longer have to cover yourself up, because yes, like your parents told you, this is a new chapter of your life. Is it scary as hell? Yes." Everyone laughed. 

"Exciting? Definitely. But who you are, who you decide to be, will shape your future, no one else's. The future is upon us my fellow comrades. I don't know what I'm doing, what I'm going to do, but I know who I am and what I want. I know what I want to achieve, and I know how I'm going to get there. I guess the only question now is, do you?" I stepped back, and everyone started to clap. I couldn't help but smile, and people started to stand. 

I focused on my dad, and saw he was beaming, tears in his eyes. Melissa was crying and laughing. Lydia's mom was smiling, wiping her eyes. Derek, I had never seen Derek smile so brightly. Scott and Lydia were clapping fondly, smiling brightly, tears rolling from their faces. Kira was smiling softly, clapping as well. 

I look to the front, and I saw Erica smiling, mascara running. She was gripping Allison's arm, who was wiping her tears. Boyd was actually grinning, along with Isaac. Jackson wasn't glaring at me, but smiling fondly. Ethan and Aiden were smiling softly. I knew that though they weren't here, they helped shape who I was. 

I am Stiles Stilinski, and that was my story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's officially it. I decided to add a short little epilogue, I hope you guys liked it! Once again, thank you for all of your support!


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